Y’all, I’m Hiring Trump’s Doctor.

January 16, 2018 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

See, for years I’ve tried to get my doctor to add an inch to my height so my weight matches healthy.

 

Where did, you know, they find, you know, this doctor, you know?  I like how he tried to make cognitive skills mean sanity.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta calls bullcorn.

 

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0 Comments to “Y’all, I’m Hiring Trump’s Doctor.”


  1. Is he still using the same burned out, hippy looking “doctor” from days of yore?

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  2. Ha ha ha ha. Based on that, Dame Helen Mirren and I are the same height, age and just a pound or two different. Ha ha ha.

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  3. Tilphousia says:

    Well, if it waddles like a duck and says quack quack, that’s probably what it is. (Personnally, I believe nothing that comes out of traitor trump’s White House. )

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  4. The dr. is in the navy, which trump is the head of. Did anyone else notice he was blinking “Please help me” in morse code?

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  5. e platypus onion says:

    Cutler has a hangover from concussions. Drumpf has one over his beltline.

    Drumpf can draw a clock and identify a lion, a rhino and a camel just by looking at them. That was part of his cognitive test. Drumpf is now officially qualified for pre-school.

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  6. I am now 5’8″. Used to pass for 5’9″. Age takes its toll. I do not look like Jay Cutler, never did.

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  7. Jane & PKM says:

    Oh noes! Either Rear Admiral Ronny Jackson was tempted to report as ordered by lifetime admission to Trump U for he and his family. Or, worse yet his family is being held hostage at Camp David.

    Cute. Given that muscle weighs more than fat, in comparison with Jay Cutler it can be accurately stated that pound per pound Donnie is a blob created by his diet and physical sloth. Or, by other standards 1 pound from obesity and without an ounce of muscle. That’s healthy?

    As for Dotard45’s mental health, 30/30 on the Montreal Cognitive Assessment is as good as any degree we can buy from the back of a match book.

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  8. Maybe the doc transposed the last two numbers (probably deliberate) or really wants to retire in the next rank up.

    Never saw a man with such a huge a$$. Rumpie’s weight is probably near (293) or more; a heart attack waiting to happen.

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  9. easttxdem says:

    Well…Dr. Ronny HAS to be a Trumpeter, doesn’t he? Or, maybe Dumpf put only one foot on the scale. I think the man’s ego is what weighs 239 pounds…or maybe it’s the stupid that weighs 239 pounds.

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  10. Karen Crosby says:

    Awesome photo comparison. Tnx.

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  11. trixicopper says:

    I have a son who is 6′ 3″, and weighs in around 230, so I know what that looks like. Donny doesn’t pass the smell test. Maybe I would believe 320.

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  12. Man, that’s scary. If you’re 6’3″ and you go a pound or two over 233, kablooie!

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  13. AlanInAustin ... says:

    I’m going with 275 at a minimum

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  14. Old Quaker says:

    Admiral is White House doc. He was there during Obama years and much respected. He put a good spin on his findings but to say he’s lying is probably wrong. A respected physician doesn’t just become a lacky over night. A simple cognative test is not a sanity test. Nor is it a test of truthfulness. The president’s serial lying is there for all to see, no MD required. It is not unusual for a fat blob to actually have pretty good numbers health-wise. The doc is right, good genes. He did OK on tread mill; for how long? My brother smoked 2 packs a day and drank alcohol daily, bigly. He ate lousy food as well. He got around town on his bike after too many DUIs. How he could breathe at all is amazing. He died at 76.

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  15. OK. So he passed a test or two and was declared “healthy”. We’ve all seen and heard of the guy who was the picture of health when he left the doctor’s office, walked down the hall and dropped dead in the elevator.

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  16. Marcia in CO says:

    I just could NOT get past all of those “you know” inserts … someone with limited language skills seem to rely on the “you know” filler. I was surprised a doctor would resort to doing that.
    Donny is a fat, ugly liar and you don’t need no damned doctor to tell you that … you know!?!?

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  17. e platypus onion says:

    Doc just forgot to contextualize the 239 pound mark. That is what Drumpf would weigh on the moon’s surface.

    The WH issued a report a couple days ago about Drump’s good medical news and the note mispelled the doc’s first name.

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  18. No, we wouldn’t go to Dr. Ron, clearly he has no medical ethics and we’d all have reason to question our medical care.

    Jackson said the President sleeps 4-5 hours a night but takes Ambien – the risk of next-day psychomotor impairment is increased if AMBIEN is taken with less than a full night of sleep (7 to 8 hours). So the President is governing our nation impaired, then he walked it back and said he just did it when he was on planes traveling. So, given his penchant for Trump properties that’s what, 1/3 of the time?

    He’s also taking Crestor, Propecia and Soolantra for Rosacia (preliminary studies indicate there may be a link between rosacia and Alzheimer’s disease). Bottom line, the height and weight are lies, the arterial health is a lie, The mental acuity is obviously an issue. But on the plus side, Sandy and I will both be competing in a Helen Mirren look alike contest next week!

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  19. Bob Boland says:

    I am the same age as Trump, the same weight as reported for Trump, and the same reported height. My gut and my butt are nowhere near as large as his. Don’t see how it is possible that the reported height and/or weight are true.
    And I’m a big couch potato so my trim (yeah, right) figure is not from exercise.

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  20. I’ve got a doctor appointment tomorrow and I’m going to insist on using the White House scale.

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  21. Deb and Sandy, can I be in the Helen Mirren contest too? We’re nearly identical, I swear!

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  22. Its all in the jowls.

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  23. Girls, girls, girls…(Elvis, 1962),

    We do have a “Prime Suspect”, and as many other prime suspects as there are prime numbers, all in or supporters of the tRump regime.
    What we need is a Jane Tennison to Return (them) to Sender.

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