Y’all, I Think Maybe I’m a Whore and I Know For a Fact That Thelma Is.
There’s this certified pastor in Arizona named Steven Anderson who has this woman-thing all figured out.
Arizona Pastor Steven Anderson warned his congregation recently that birth control was not only turning women into “whores,” it was also destroying the country.
He knows about Thelma, huh? Thelma practices birth control with her husband Junior Janochek, Jr. One Junior Janochek III is all the world needs. Birth control did not necessarily turn her into a whore but it did, in fact, turn her into a hairdresser after Junior III started school was got on somebody else’s last nerve during the day.
Pastor Anderson
The preaching continues …
“Not only does birth control do damage to women, it hurts their body if they’re using the pills. And it also affects their character, causing them to be an idle, tattler, gossip, turning aside after Satan,” he insisted.
Women would “get into sin” if they were not “busy” raising children, Anderson said.
Oh my goodness, now he’s preaching about me.
If not having children at home to take care of means I’m a whore, then I gotta tell y’all something – whoredom ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Thanks to Marge for the heads up.
What a ridiculous face. Mirrors the (lack of) brain behind it. I never had children (or wanted to), so I guess in his (dead) eyes, I’m a whore. I followed the link to youtube from the article JJ linked above, and noticed the moron pastor checking his phone as he began his sermon (the video is almost an hour, I managed about a minute). Sounds like another Dominionist nutjob. I guess his paragon of womanhood is far different from mine.
1Clearly this sweet-talker Anderson knows all there is to know about women. And he learned it all from men–real old-timey Old Testament men who didn’t know anything about women either.
Poor fellow, probably he’s not worth the trouble it would take to educate him.
2I want to know how many “self-respecting” women stayed and listened to that crap?
3How come all the big-time Mansplainers look like such geeks? That guy is birth control with a bad haircut and a cheap suit…..
4I resent both politicians and preachers attempting to practice gynecology without so much as a clue.
5I especially enjoyed his point that God made childbirth painful to punish women for that business in the Garden of Eden. That makes contraception an evasion of a woman’s responsibility to suffer for God.
6Check Pastor Stevens website out!
http://www.faithfulwordbaptist.org/
7If these Dominion guys are equally ignorant about their own reproductive health as they are that of women, maybe we can have some fun with their anti-science. Neutering male dogs reduces the incidence of testicular cancer. Now to convince them that it would be to their health benefit, too, with the added benefit of keeping their women folk from straying.
8Alas, my whoring days are over.
9Hey “Pastor”! Get yourself some ovaries, a uterus, a vagina and breasts, live a life in this sexist USA “culture” for about 40 years and THEN and only THEN can you open your yapper about what it is to be W-O-M-A-N! Until then, sweetcheeks, you’re just someone on the outside looking in.
And if contraception makes women “whores”, then what does Viagra make men? Studs? You are a Class A Butthole. And I mean that in the nicest way.
10Ralph Wiggam, when anesthetic was first used in medical practice there was a religiously-based movement to ban it for childbirth–because of that verse about women bringing forth children “in suffering” etc.
Queen Victoria happened to be ready to give birth at that time and when the subject of her not using anesthesia came up, she replied (not her exact words) “The hell you say!” Her example pretty much ended the “keep ’em suffering” movement.
11That’s a great story OldMayfly, thanx.
12Pastor Anderson looks like he just realized that he doesn’t know where his light switch is.
13Words from the independent preachers who claim personal righteousness from the Bible: “Your job is to be parents and bring ’em into the world for us. We’ll do the rest.”
http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2013/05/02/police-say-pastor-recorded-sexual-misconduct-with-young-girl/
http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news%2Flocal&id=9034733
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEeoF_t4sfQ
14How in the world has baseless accusation become the conservative’s first go-to practice?
15Yes, indeed! Victoria used chloroform for the first time in 1853 when giving birth to her eighth child, a son named Leopold. Furor arose! (Anything the Queen did was sure to be popular with the “masses.”)
16Victoria was not amused. She basically said “…talk to me when you’ve experienced childbirth yourself..” and arranged to have chloroform handy when she had her ninth (and last) child in 1857.
Victoria’s husband, Albert, was a very forward-thinking man and especially interested in science so I’m sure she had his encouragement.
I’m pretty sure she would have embraced a reliable method of birth control had one been available.
Victoria loved Albert; she loved sex (really!) but she hated bring pregnant.
Her love letters to Albert are something like! 🙂 I think you have to have a real bad case of Dunning Krueger syndrome to be a preacher: not only are you stupid, you are too stupid to have any clue just how stupid you are…
17Contraception is one of the greatest inventions of humankind. That idiot should be tied, gagged and cast into a well.
18So what do they call men who use Viagra, man-whores?
19To recap: women must submit to their husband’s will – and it is always the woman’s fault if she get pregnant…
We really need to find a way to make men pregnant.
20“If not having children at home to take care of means I’m a whore, then I gotta tell y’all something—whoredom ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
Yes, Ma’am, indeed.
21Hey, I’m menopausing. If this clown needs info on women’s healthcare, send him my way. We’ll have a Q&A and I’ll teach him a few things*.
*Session may include discoloration of the eye sockets, pain & swelling in the genital area and possible loss of use of extremities. Post Q&A, in-patient mental health therapy is highly recommended.
22Consider me a believer, ladies. Next time some Kochroach varmint refers to any of ya’ll as the ‘weaker sex,’ will ignore the ignorant varmint rather than try to reason with him. If it’s one of those hot heads who consider being ignored as ‘fightin words’ will lasso the critter and deliver him to The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. for an education. It’s win-win-win for me. Spares me a set of sore knuckles wasted on a block head, spares me the trouble of a whiny varmint filing charges for being the victim of his own dumb mouth, and earns me a whole lot of points with my wife for not acting like a dumb fool to educate a dumb fool.
23@Timbo #13-He not only looks like he forgot where his switch is but remembered he’d left it in the off position. I figure these guys take up pastoring and making these off-the-wall stoopid comments because they’ve nothing better to do and really aren’t qualified to do much of anything else.
24You people crack me up!! Thank you, one and all. Just when the steam from my anger threatens to pop out my eyeballs, you put everything back in perspective.
I have to go now and do whatever it is that keeps whores like me busy during the day now that my kids are grown.
25I have always wondered why there is no discussion about Viagra (and other such meds.) The only reason for them – few exceptions – is for old men to have sex. Old men sometimes have young women as sex partners (See: Donald Sterling) but generally they are coupled with similarly aged women. They are certainly not having sex in order to beget children. Why are they not damned, too.
26And why am I surprised that this logic escapes, or is ignored by, most Republicans?
I continue to believe that people like Arizona Pastor Steven Anderson have to be either plum loco or have the grifter thing down to a science, whereby gullible people send their hard-earned money to Anderson and his ilk on a regular basis.
27Jan, when the religious Taliban twit alleged/self-proclaimed X-tian Lords of the overthrow and all medical science, inject themselves between you and your physician, it’s time to strip political churches of their tax exempt status. At a minimum, toss the cretins in prison for impersonating doctors.
As you indicate, Viagra, penis pumps and other remedies are covered by most health care policies and Medicare. Just a guess, not covered by medicaid, as those are the poor dudes.
RWNJ message – women seeking genuine health issue care are not equal to men wanting to subjugate their women and supplement their NRA substitutes.
The birth control pill has evolved as dosages and indicated treatments have reduced some of the earlier medical issues like blood clots. But old dumb white guys cannot extrapolate. Sorry for them, as science is trying to give them a few clues as to the side effects. The ramp up the limp has consequences.
Think this would work as a warning for Sheldon Addy or the Kockroaches – Viagra causes exploding hearts in out of shape, lazy moochers, who are already on enough drugs to explode their kidneys and livers. Erections lasting more than 4 hours; consult Lorena Bobbitt, before your mistress does.
28What this guy really hates is that contraception makes it harder for men to control the lives of women.
29His website says they only use King James Bible. Nobody in the Protestant business with an IQ over 50 believes KJV is a reliable translation. Willful ignorance is his MO.
30@LynnN: Bingo!
31LynnN, what you say is true, but the Xtian alternate reality is mind blowing St00pid. Most Americans believe in birth control for both health and family planning, as well as other heath reasons.
Too many children with no appreciative time between births has been medically proven to be a medical risk for women and the children they bear. There are many other medical reasons that a woman’s health should be between she and her doctor. Loving husbands if presented with a question between our wife and her doctor, will recommend a second opinion. There are some hard decisions every day, should one hit us and my wife isn’t comfortable with her medical advice, I can only think of supporting her through her options of seeking a second, third and however many opinions necessary, until she is comfortable with the advice and her decision. Meh? My role is to listen, learn and support.
32Gee-ho-so-phat! Once upon a time when I was just a kid I was forced to sit through this kind of crap in church. As soon as I could I put it way behind me. It is just another form of bullying. No way was I going to let anyone do that to me. My mother also sat through all this **ap but she was mostly deaf. We could never have those mother daughter chats about the stuff this jackwagon dribbles so she was kinda puzzled when she found out that I had left the church. I guess a lot of the women who sit through his sermons must be the same way – 65% deaf!
33Just goes to show what ideas guys can get.
34Please, Henry! If Queen Elizabeth’s/King James’ English was good enough for Jesus it is good enough for me.
35@Henry, I love me some King James Bible. The difference between me and these babbling, sex-obsessed “preachers” is that I actually READ mine. Like that place in Genesis 3:16 where the Lord said that Eve would bring forth her children in sorrow. No, not suffering: sorrow. And in the very next verse, Genesis 3:17, He said to Adam, “in sorrow shall thou eat of it (the ground) all the days of thy life”. So what ever Eve got in childbirth, Adam was supposed to get the same thing every day.
36Excuse me, now I have to go watch for the crowd of pitchforks.
Dear Little White Cupcake (AKA Pastor Anderson): When you grow your own female parts, then you’re qualified to talk about the use of your own female parts.
As it is now, you’re just a vanilla cupcake, full of theological empty calories.
37I took a quick headcount of my friends and was surprised, and then really pleased, at how many whores I know. If I had the right lady parts I’d be a whore, too.
Whores Of The World Unite!
38Oldmayfly: Jesus was too busy reading Bart Ehrman to read the actual bible very much. It’s kind of like when you saw the game there’s not much point in reading about it the next day.
39I don’t always read the bible. But when I do, I prefer King James. The least interesting man in the world, our good pastor.
40“Just goes to show what ideas guys can get.” Marge Wood, wouldn’t argue we guys can go off into fantasy land, but hey, we love women in all the best ways, we really do. We want, but for certain, we accept no, and we rejoice in shared choices & preferences.
As for the Taliban Xtian women, honestly I have no understanding of why they put up with the bull chip piles their men spout. Closest understanding I have would be the Stockholm Syndrome. “Pastors” like Steven Anderson misquote more Bible than I ever saw. Sure isn’t anything Jesus allegedly said.
Sorting out the Xtians from the Christians follows one basic precept; those gaining and giving comfort from their beliefs are Christians. Those seeking to cherry pick and go whole smorgasbord on documents they have never read in the original languages, yet imposing their convenient translations upon translations to impose their will over other men and women; those are the suspect Xtians.
41I remember, as a child growing up in Phoenix, when a young guy ‘friend’ of my parents and his family stayed with us for about 6weeks just before Christmas with all their kids. They were for whatever reason homeless, before the word homeless was probably invented. Our folks didn’t give specifics. We all had to share beds to accommodate.
So about a year later the husband came alone to have a serious discussion with Mom & Dad. He had decided to become a ‘pastor’ and wanted Mom & Dad to become part of his ‘ministry’. I was snooping (confess) and heard Mom exclaim “You abandoned your wife with 6 children! What kind of ‘minister’ could you expect us to believe!?!” That guy scuddled out of the house mighty quick.
I agree with someone posted upthread. These preachers are guys with nothing to offer and looking for a way to be a snake oil salesman.
42PKM, I doubt you can even imagine what those guys can think. You are, I can tell, a good guy. Lots of Christians are too; they are perfectly nice, caring folks. It used to be that being a Christian gave folks a good reputation. GWB and Tom DeLay and Ted Cruz and their friends really have put a bad smear on Christianity. Every group has its crackpots. Unfortunately the crackpots are the ones who make the news.
43Y’all have pretty much said, reducing this jackwagon to a little grease spot on the floor. I just want to add to LynnN #29 that when a man calls a woman a “whore” (or “slut” or any variation thereof) it means that he’s angry about not controlling her sexually.
44As usual, you have opened up an interesting discussion, Marge Wood. Perhaps I do lack in imagination or am somewhat naive, but on a conscious level, I get the Dominionists. I simply reject their cra cra crazy assertions and, admittedly am too lazy or lacking in time to refute them point by point.
Just wagging a guess, but if Christ existed/exists, He would not favor the Koch fueled Xtians who are conflating the powers of Caesar and God. To their insane BENGHAZI screams, and all their other whackobird Obama is coming to get their guns memes, etc etc insanity upon insanity, I’ll remain with the words of our Constitution and appreciate the separation of church and state.
From Crazy Cliven and his happy views of slavery and the Xtians who think the First Amendment is reserved for Xtians, this simple guy thinks our first line of defense is separation of church and state. The next step is to amend the second amendment to include: this does not mean the whackobirds.
45It just occurred to me that this nut actually got his rant from Rush Limbaugh — you’ll all remember that particular idiot’s rant about Sandra Fluke. Do these sex-crazed loonies follow some sort of wacko script, and when they can’t come up with anything new, they just repeat all the old crap? Many times a day I am reminded how wonderful my husband is.
46I had to pass this one on to my friends of the opposite gender. I always knew women would be the downfall of our country. At least now I know why.
47Reminds me of when our oldest son told me that my friend Mary Jane and I could start a riot if we set our minds to it. And I don’t mean maryjane, you know?
48The Dali Lama said that Western women would save the world…when I heard him speak on a mothers love.
49I think that these kind of men think there are teeth in the vaginal opening so are constantly afraid of their desire..therefore women are bad.
Oh, for adult men who are not afraid of women, but can love.
Love and kindness are the only things that heal.
OK, I give up. Gotta ask. How do these empty coconuts get to be pastors anyway? Who the hell hires them?
50