Writ Twit Paradise

November 09, 2020 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Oh y’all, I am going to assume that all of Trump’s lawyers are getting paid up front because nothing breaks America’s heart more than a lawyer getting screwed by Trump.

I can promise you that we are going to see hijinxs and romps through logic galore during the court battle between Trump and reality.

And it started last week in Pennsylvania.  One of Trump’s lawyers went before a federal judge whining that there weren’t enough Republicans in the counting room.  I suspect he should have added, “… to meet Trump’s high standards of Republican intimidation and exposure of innocent people to a deadly pandemic,” but he didn’t.

And then it gets fun.

“When the judge pressed the Trump campaign lawyer if there were observers in the room from the campaign, the lawyer, Jerome Marcus, said, “There’s a non-zero number of people in the room.”

The judge, Paul Diamond of the Eastern District of Pennsylvania, a George W. Bush appointee, also pointed out he believed the President’s case appeared to have no reason to be in federal court, and even cracked a joke that the lawyer “shouldn’t quit his day job” when the campaign handed the judge a hand-drawn map of the ballot counting room.

A non-zero number? Oh no. So, here’s Trump’s lawyer in the wrong court, submitting the wrong writ and giving the wrong answer. See why I suggest he get paid up front?

How many votes did Trump get in the 2020 election, Ms. Juanita? “I am sorry to have to admit it was a non-zero number.”

Please put on your seat belt. This is gonna be a bumpy but awfully fun ride.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Writ Twit Paradise”


  1. Steve from Beaverton says:

    The Bossie posse of out of work shysters. In the mold of Giuliani. Expect a bunch of paid “informants” as witnesses, too.

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  2. Ralph Wiggam says:

    Some are born to humility, some achieve humility, others have humility thrust upon them. When a federal judge tells a lawyer not to quit his day job, that’s a wicked thrust. On the other hand the lawyer should become a legend in the field of legalese.

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  3. Jane & PKM says:

    lol @ “non-zero” number. Points to the judge for resisting the urge to ask the lawyer to point to which part of his anatomy from which he’d pulled said imaginary ‘number.’

    Dotard’s lawyers are working on the conservative’s latest Trickle Down scam – whatever we gross from post campaign contributions, minus cuts for all the fingers in the path of those contributions will be all yours. That would be a not non-zero number, or exactly zero in other words.

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  4. Harry Eagar says:

    So much losing.

    Remember when Trump said if you voted for Biden your 401(k) would disappear? Today is the first day the markets are open since Biden was declared. The Dow opened up 1600 points, 6%.

    More interesting was Exxon, up over 15%.

    The numbers have since dropped a little but are still way up — Exxon is up nearly 12%.

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  5. For all y’all keeping count. I ‘m getting 15-20 e mails a day from Trump telling me how special to him I am. And asking for a donation for the defense. fund. The ask has escalated. Now the least number is a 100 bucks.

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  6. Steve from Beaverton says:

    The evidence is mounting up. If you read Raw Story as I do occasionally (more so recently), there’s a serious case of vote counting impropriety in Michigan. Proof on a scribbled sticky note from an unknown gop observer from an unknown vote counter. Like I said, the Bossie posse shysters are working hard.
    Oh, and Ben Carson has tested positive for coronavirus after attending the WH victory party. Not hoping (much) that others also got it, Mike Pence.

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  7. Maybe Four Seasons Landscaping can hire some of Trump’s lawyers? Experience shoveling BS and other fertilizer required. Wages start at non-zero dollars per hour.

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  8. Pridetyper says:

    Agonizing case of electile dysfunction.

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  9. I wanna know how hard the judge laughed after that “lawyer” left the courtroom!

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  10. The Surly Professor says:

    As someone in a math-adjacent field, gotta point out that negative numbers are also non-zero. So if asked the combined IQ level of the republican poll watchers, a sum of -1200 is still non-zero.

    Crone @5: I’ve started responding to those beggars with “I’d like to give something appropriate. Do you have change for a penny?”

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  11. Tom Matthews says:

    Conservative radio in WI urging Repub legislature to take control and appoint Repub elector slate, regardless of vote count. I think that’s the point of Trump’s delay tactics.

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  12. Gail in Richmond says:

    David McGraw’s book, Press Freedom in Age of Alternative Facts, laid out Trump’s legal incompetencies. He was counsel for The New York Times. These

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  13. Gail in Richmond says:

    These actions are exactly what MGraw recounted (when they showed up).

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