With Friends Like Newt
Newt, y’all.
Newt Gingrich stepped up to defend Donald Trump, mainly because if Trump isn’t elected, Newt still won’t have a job.
Former Speaker Newt Gingrich on Wednesday defended Donald Trump’s remarks about a former Miss Universe’s weight gain, blaming the woman for gaining the weight.
“You’re not supposed to gain 60 pounds during the year that you’re Miss Universe,” Gingrich told a Log Cabin Republicans event in Washington, according to the Daily Mail.
I dunno, maybe it’s just me, but I think it’s not her fault that Donald Trump behaved like a jerk and called her names. That’s on him, Newt.
And then to offer proof that irrational paranoia is contagious, Newt continued …
Gingrich also said Hillary Clinton’s campaign and the media were working together to lay “the Machado trap,” which he said was “a trap that was set up for three or four months.”
“News media were lined up to run articles the second Hillary said something,” he said, according to the Daily Mail.
“The media” is not one big giant breathing organism who all play well together and never, ever leak information. I mean, in the real world, not just Newt’s head.
I’m no highly paid political professional like Kellyanne Conway, but I kinda think that the chubby guys need to shut the hell up about this.
Mr. Svelte says wut?
1No Newt. Donnie was doing more of his Hispanic outreach, speaking his deplorable macaca as is his practice.
2Like most of us, Newtster could use adding an ab crunch or 50 to his daily grind hisownself.
And Newt we really would like to see less of you. Appearance-wise as well as weight-wise.
Put that carton of Blue Bell down and step away from the freezer.
3Hay,– Gingrich why was it you left the House again? Have trouble with the truth do we?? So the Cry Baby fell into the trap he set himself. Cry me a river. Boo Hoo,Boo Hoo.
4Looks like Piggy Drumpf has put on a lot of weight. Maybe he should work out. You think?
Aannnnd once again repugnantcans project their despicable tendencies on the rest of us. Naomi Klein and George Lakoff both pointed out how conservatives for years have had opposition projects just waiting for the right time.
5Well, gasp! I’ve seen pix of this woman and where the alleged 60 pounds are, somebody better send me a map! What the bleep is the matter with these so-called men!
6when is this meat head gonna grow some compunction?
7It is increasingly apparent that we of the left are misunderstanding the proper role of a woman in this world.
8My thanks to Newt and Hair Trump for clarifying that role.
Old Boy rolls are cool, but not appreciated for their eye candy?
I just love how all these overweight dudes feel they have to mansplain beauty to us women.
9What Trailer Park said. Also–Dudes, practice what you preach.
10Newt The Pewt has gotten the Bewt before. He needs it again.
11Gingrich is the perfect example of how a highly intellegent, academically oriented person can still be a twisted, nasty, unrealistic, asinine, venal sack of donkey doo.
12I know this is off the subject of weight but dear Helen and Margaret made a wonderful suggestion re Trump.
13It was ‘Hillary should call a summit with the three Mrs Trumps and the three Mrs Guillianis on how to deal with philandering husbands, now that is something I would like to see.
Tell us more Newt. About how a person’s weight should disqualify them from holding a job when someone thinner is available for the same position.
And your your age Newt, tell us what you think if someone younger is available for that job too?
14Joan, it is only sorta off the subject. Why is it all these men are so ready to bash one woman on her weight, when they themselves are overweight, and bash another woman her HUSBAND’S affairs when they themselves have indulged in same, multiple times. I’m surprised Newt hasn’t joined in on that, considering his past. I hate these guys. I really do.
15Reminds me of a cartoon in which several women at the beach are deploring a guy who looks like a walrus in a Speedo, until one woman rebukes them and says that he’s probably a very nice guy and they shouldn’t say such things. Cut to the guy, who’s thinking, “The blonde wouldn’t be bad if she lost some weight.”
16So… Newt, Trump, and Giuliani have nine marriages among the three of them, and they’re going to lumber on out there and bitch that Hillary wasn’t all warm and friendly to Bill’s mistresses. What could go wrong?
17So a larda$$ and a tub of goo think they can call other people fat. Members of the Glass House Gang?
18Shouldn’t Newt be worried about how he’s going to get the other $12,500 he needs to pay for the Kim Davis stunt he pulled and tried to bill as a political event?
19Newt needs to look in the mirror more often!
https://boardgamegeek.com/camo/eb7b78da59afb7326dfdb5e87874c4bf030126dc/687474703a2f2f6173736574732e726f6c6c696e6773746f6e652e636f6d2f6173736574732f696d616765732f626c6f675f656e7472792f6e6577742d616e642d63616c6c697374612d616e2d6166666169722d746f2d72656d656d6265722d32303132303132362f72656374616e676c652e6a7067
20@Fred Farklestone #20- If he looked in the mirror more often he really wouldn’t see the “trap” set for him for several months. In the Newt’s mind, as in all conservatives thought, all media( possibly excluding Fuchs Noise) are “liberal” and therefore against them.You’ve got to ask yourself what sort of person does not see a “trap” set for 3 or 4 months?
21OK, gang. Fat shaming is not okay, but I did indulge in a little in ’12. Enjoy!
There was a large pig, name of Newt
As moral as J. van der Sloot
He looked such a glutton
‘Cause he couldn’t button
the bellyward part of his suit.
Callista, his helmet-haired wife
with smile as soft as a knife
while shopping at Tiffany
had an epiphany
This is the GingRich-y life.
The campaign of which they’re a part
Lacks empathy, feeling, and heart
though it never lacks
for scorn and attacks,
Thus tearing our country apart.
The frothy mix known as Santorum
Will take any audience and bore ’em
So hung up on gay
He should come out and play
Like Senators fallen before ‘im.
Oh-Bee-Gee-Wy-En Doctor Paul
The most libertarian of all
Is he a polemicist?
A white supremacist?
Maybe he’s simply got gall.
Dominionist darling Michele
Was running the race for a spell
Till they glitterbombed Marcus
Right in his fat carcass
The tales that that glitter could tell!
She made up statistics ad hoc
Till ’twas said, She’s as dumb as a rock!
Ate corn dogs for Twitter
Had kids by the litter
Till voters said, let’s clean her clock.
The crazy train’s full to the quota
Awash in corn dogs and cream soda
It wasn’t all clover
Her tea party’s over
She’s wandering ol’ Minnesota.
The silver-spooned robotic Willard
A pure vulture capital killer
Does plenty of blamin’
While banking in Cayman
Positions bounce round like a billiard.
Bain Capital took great enjoyment
In creating mass unemployment
The most hideous goof
Was the dog on the roof
Killer robots have no place in gov’ment.
The Kochs and their ALEC were merry
contemplating President Perry
Who forgot his lines
at inopportune times
Or maybe he’d sipped too much sherry.
Good ol’ boy Rick proved quite a scamp
at the entrance to N*ggerhead Camp
He held that prayer meeting
but still took a beating
‘Vangelicals need a new champ.
And let’s not forget Herman Cain
Who harassed and never explained
His signature line
(you know, 9! 9! 9!)
was his ticket to Crazy Train.
John Huntsman did not have a prayer
The voters said, there’s no ‘there’ there
It was his reliance
on facts and on science
That gave the base base such a scare.
For all who have been keeping score
Remember that wacky bus tour
When old grisly granny
fell flat on her fanny
with egg on her face evermore.
And didn’t the polls see a jump
for reality-TV’s old grump?
So full of hot air
that it spread to his hair
Vain, egotistical Trump.
The Cheez-Wiz he wears on his head
looks like he was pushed out of bed
But he hates shaking hands,
so no campaign plans
Gave Mitt his endorsement instead.
Mild-mannered ex-gov Tim Pawlenty
22was quickly outgunned and outspenty
So Timothy James
withdrew after Ames
His old campaign office? For Renty.
My god, Zyxomma! It’s Chaucer all over again! Good job.
One picky point: Callista may be the ice queen but no fool. She surely caught Newt wandering his eye again and told him it’s time for a Tiffany’s trip or a trip to her publisher. I’m sure she could get six-figures for that book. She probably knows where all his skeletons are buried.
23The Newt is amphiblical.
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