Juanita has an new thought in the “Don’t Make Me Slap Some Sense Into You, Honey” catagory.

We heard today that health insurance premiums will have a “shocking” increase.

“This shocking increase isn’t unique,” said the report, being presented by Secretary Kathleen Sebelius at a news conference Thursday. “Across the country, families have seen their premiums skyrocket in recent years, and experts predict these increases will continue.”

“One time Thelma asked me what I’d buy if I won the Texas Lottery,” Juanita recalls.  “I hadn’t pondered on it much because I figure the lottery is the Olympics for people who are really bad at math.”

“But, I thought about it and decided that if I won the lottery, I’d buy a congressman.  Heck, if it was a big one, I could probably buy 2 or 3,” she figures.  “Then I’d get me some legislation that says everybody has to get a weekly haircut.  But only from people who went to Miss Juanita’s House of Fabulous Beauty College and Notary Public School.  Then I’d open me that school.”

“Either that or I’d have my appendix out.  Cost about the same.”

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