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The United States Border Patrol, darling of the rightwing in their quest to keep America safe from terrorism, busted Willie Nelson yesterday and took his skinny butt to jail.

SIERRA BLANCA, Texas (AP) — A U.S. Border Patrol spokesman says country singer Willie Nelson was charged with marijuana possession after 6 ounces was found aboard his tour bus in Texas.

Patrol spokesman Bill Brooks says the bus pulled into the Sierra Blanca, Texas, checkpoint about 9 a.m. Friday. Brooks says an officer smelled pot when a door was opened and a search turned up marijuana.

“Six ounces?” Juanita asked.  “Hell, on any given day you could shake Willie’s shirt and six ounces of pot would fall off.  If six ounces is all the pot you can find on Willie Nelson’s tour bus, it’s amazing that a fight didn’t break out.”

“I would like to deeply and sincerely thank the DEA, Border Patrol, and the Hudspeth County Sheriff’s Office for freekin’ nothing,” Juanita announces.

There’s a story, and I don’t know if it’s true, but if it’s not, it should be.  A couple of decades ago, Willie was arrested for possession in Waco.  During his trial, the arresting officer took the witness stand to explain that he stopped because there was a car on the side of the road and the driver was asleep in the front seat.

“And what was your probable cause for searching the car for drugs?” Willie’s defense lawyer asked the office.

The young officer sat still for a minute and then replied incredulously, “Uh, because it was Willie Freekin’ Nelson.”

That’s just gotta be a true story.

Willie Nelson is 77 years old.  He’s producing amazing music and touring almost constantly with acts a quarter his age.  He raises more money for charity than anyone else in Texas.  He has a black belt in taekwondo and plays pretty good golf.  He’s on his fourth wife, having pooped-out all the other ones.  He’s still making movies, and he won a Grammy last year.  He’ll be 78 in three months.

He is a walking advertisement for marijuana use.