The Proprietor and Staff of The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., in upscale downtown Richmond, Texas, wish to announce the following:

Through the miracle of modern journalism we have just been informed that Senator Ted Cruz of the formerly Great State of Texas is going to announce tomorrow that he’s running for President of the United Damn States of America.

We are thrilled.

Ever since we heard Ted’s father, Rafael, announce that his son was “anointed to bring about a great transfer of wealth” we have breathlessly waited to see if we’re gonna be on the gettin’ or the givin’ end of that deal because Thelma needs new trailer and Verdelia has her eye on a leopard skinned golf cart.

We could use some wealth.

It’s always fun to have a seriously deranged man run for President.

Honey, when this one falls, it’s gonna spectacular.  I’m talking fireworks and crepe paper.

And to memorialize his days of wandering the dorm halls at Harvard in his paisley housecoat, John built us this.

This is gonna be a blast, y’all!