Will The Meeting Please Come to Order
The Proprietor and Staff of The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., in upscale downtown Richmond, Texas, wish to announce the following:
Through the miracle of modern journalism we have just been informed that Senator Ted Cruz of the formerly Great State of Texas is going to announce tomorrow that he’s running for President of the United Damn States of America.
We are thrilled.
Ever since we heard Ted’s father, Rafael, announce that his son was “anointed to bring about a great transfer of wealth” we have breathlessly waited to see if we’re gonna be on the gettin’ or the givin’ end of that deal because Thelma needs new trailer and Verdelia has her eye on a leopard skinned golf cart.
We could use some wealth.
It’s always fun to have a seriously deranged man run for President.
Honey, when this one falls, it’s gonna spectacular. I’m talking fireworks and crepe paper.
And to memorialize his days of wandering the dorm halls at Harvard in his paisley housecoat, John built us this.
This is gonna be a blast, y’all!
Borowitz nailed it: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/disturbed-man-tries-to-get-into-white-house
1I heard that Ted “Calgary” Cruz has a Canadian Birth Certificate…
I want to see the birth certificate!
2(Cue love boat theme music)
Welcome aboard Carnival Cruz! We set set sail today, making our first stop in Iowa. After that we will randomly wander around the United States until we eventually catch on fire, break down, and fill up with a bunch of crap.
3How appropriate that Ted the Twit should announce his candidacy on Twitter!
4I guess I should fess up and take responsibility Origuy for getting that ball rolling. However, in my defense, I was half-joking. The main impetus of the joke is that under those rules, Obama could have been born in Indonesia and still wouldn’t matter. Isn’t it amazing though that if we like the guy we are willing to overlook certain things. If we don’t then cry from the rooftops whether there is any evidence of anything or not.
5@SomedayGirl … this absolutely did it for me this Monday morning:
“Atheist me saw this in my morning feed and hollered, “Praise, Jeebus, there IS a God!”
I am not an atheist, but this absolutely had me laughing out loud! Thank you!!
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