It’s official. We’ve finally, at long last, driven the Super DeLux Brand Christians totally wacko.

I hope you’ve done your part. It appears that Mitt Romney has.

— Bill Keller, the world’s leading Internet Evangelist and the founder of LivePrayer.com, with over 2.4 million subscribers worldwide reading the daily devotional he has written every morning for 13 years on the issues of the day from a Biblical worldview, states that a vote for Mormon cult member Mitt Romney will insure at least 1 million souls will end up in hell!!!

Notice he says “at least.” That means there could be more. It could mean you. Worse yet, it could mean me.

Notice he doesn’t say only the people who actually vote for Romney will go to hell. Oh no, he could mean that if even one person votes for Romney, at least a million people will go to hell. Good Lord, do the math. If Romney gets 100 votes, hefty parts of Nebraska, Ohio, Georgia, and Del Rio, Texas, will go to hell. On a cracker. In fact, especially the cracker thing.

And we’re doomed, doomed I tell you, because Pastor Keller ain’t real fond of President Obama either.

Keller, who has never told anyone who to or not to vote for and never endorses any political candidate said, “Christians have a real dilemma this November. It is like Satan flipping a two-headed coin with his head on both sides.”

Cool, huh? I didn’t even know that Satan had a coin, much less could flip one what with those cloven hoofs and all.

I’m pretty darn pleased with the job we’ve done with the steeple people, y’all.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.