Apparently, a helluva lot.

Rep. Michele Bachmann spent nearly $5,000 on hair and makeup in the early weeks of her presidential campaign, according to campaign-finance filings uncovered yesterday by Mother Jones magazine.

The Minnesota Republican and Tea Party favorite made three payments of $1,715, $250, and $2,704 to a Maryland-based hair and makeup artist in the weeks after she launched her presidential run, according to her Federal Election Commission report.

“Darlin’,” starts Juanita.  “You know how we here at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty, Inc., always say that beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes clear to the bone?  Well, proof.”

“You’d think that Jesus glow would be all she needs,” Verdelia comments.  “There’s only one thing that cost $5,000 and goes down the drain at night.  Makeup.  Well, and cocaine.”

Juanita suspects that if it is true that beauty starts from the inside, Michelle Bachmann’s makeup artist had a mess of work to do.

But, seriously, how much does a Bumpit cost?