Okay, I need to admit upfront that I think Robert Morrow is nuttier than  LaBlanc’s Pecan Shoppe at Christmas time.

Morrow is the guy who is convinced that Rick Perry is making whoopie with strippers all over Texas, but they won’t come forward to talk about it for fear of hurting their reputation.  Hey, ya gotta admit that Texas strippers enjoy a  level of prestige unmatched by strippers from … say, Alabama.

I have come to believe that Mr. Morrow, who is a Republican, is the King of Disinformation.  His shenanigans are meant to lend macho to Perry’s character and distract us from the fact that Rick Perry IS A STOOPID CRAZY PERSON.

Whoa … that felt good.  Thank you for letting me holler.  But you need to click here if you don’t believe me.  It’s been over 100 degrees everyday in Texas for over a month and we haven’t had rain since Noah’s flood.

Anyway, back to our story.  Morrow took out a giant ad in the Austin Chronicle today that you’re gonna have to help me with.

Here’s the ad.  Click the little one to get the big one.

Okay, so here’s the deal.  I get the part that Morrow is offering publicity (but apparently not CASH) for strippers, hotties, and escorts who want to claim they’ve done the wild thing with Rick Perry.  And at the very, very bottom, he’s even telling gay people what they ought to do, because Morrow sounds like the kind of guy who would know what people ought to do, right?

But there is a line above the very, very bottom that I don’t get.  I will freely admit that I’m 30 years and 35 pounds past being a hottie, so maybe it’s something new and fun I haven’t heard about yet.

It says, “Offer not valid for enabling wives wearing Hillary Clinton boots.”

What the fool tarnation does that mean?

Is that something kinky?  No, seriously, is it?

I don’t know what that means.  Do you know what that means?