So yesterday, I get this real official looking letter delivered to my home by the good people of the United States Postal Service.

You will have to click the little one to see the big one.

So, I stand there with a real confused look on my face because I know those words are English language words but I do not have a clue what they mean and I’m liable to check the wrong box or something and lose my Medicare.  I am a grown woman with a completely official certificate from Dora Lou’s School of Beauty.  I am not stupid.  Well, at least I thought so.  So, I decided to pour a glass of wine to calm my nerves and try ciphering it again.

Holy crap, it makes absolutely no sense at all after a glass of wine.  It has scary words like “redistribute resources” and “quality of your care.”  Then on top of all that it has “The Obama health care law” right there at the beginning.  Hell, I support the man but this crap was scaring me.

It was then that I got to the tiny fine print bottom line.   Read that sucker.

So, I’m going to send this in and when Mr. Robert Hightower contacts me I am going to ask, “Does your mother know what you are doing?”  Y’all save up bond money in case I get arrested for suggesting that Mr. Hightower get honest work – like a piano player in a whorehouse, and where he can stick his “new regulations, taxes, and processes” about Obamacare to scare crap outta little old ladies.

Here’s where you’re supposed to mail this:

Benefits Processing Center?  Screw you, Mr. Hightower.  You are indeed an evil man.