Well, You Know Where I’m Gonna Be
Y’all, Donald Trump is coming to Texas to campaign for Ted Cruz.
On September 29th, Willie Nelson is giving a free concert with Beto in Austin.
Willie says —
“My wife Annie and I have met and spoken with Beto and we share his concern for the direction things are headed,” Nelson said in a statement. “Beto embodies what is special about Texas, an energy and an integrity that is completely genuine.”
Let me point out something else. Ted Cruz said that Beto was bringing California to Texas “with tofu, dyed hair, and silicon.”
Uh Ted, your wife is a vegetarian. That means she probably eats tofu. Also, Ted, do you know what tofu is made of? Soybeans. Do you know what state produces the most soybeans? Yep, Texas.
Dyed hair? Ted, have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Where’d the gray go, Ted?
Silicon? Honey, you outlaw silicon and Fox News would have to shut down.
So, we’re left with Ted Cruz bringing New York City to Texas, and the craziest guy in the whole damn city.
By the way, Trump said he’d fill the “biggest stadium in Texas” for a Ted Cruz rally. Texas A&M’s Kyle Field seats 102,733 people. Honey, don’t be throwing around words like “biggest” in Texas. We take that very personally.
*Sigh*
Even if the great state of Texas retires Cruz, he’s just going to end up like Santorum: stenching up the airwaves.
But without the disgusting term attached to his name…
1Speaking of Kyle field, Aggies are so faithful, back when it was a grass field and not a rug, they turned the lights on one night to mow and 35,000 showed up for yell practice.
2Beto is coming to the westside of San Antonio on the 21st. Make your reservations.
https://act.betofortexas.com/event/action/16253/signup/?source=ema20180912&t=2&akid=9417%2E1848928%2EZNKRh4
3@Johnroliphant,
That link doesn’t work for me. It may be ‘personalized’ for you (from an email?).
Better to just go to the top-level domain and find the events button on the upper menu bar, then use the options map (date menu doesn’t work for me). This will also cover all other events and locations:
https://betofortexas.com/
San Antonio with Beto!
Friday, Sep 21 7:00pm – 9:30pm
Plaza Guadalupe. 1327 Guadalupe Street San Antonio TX 78207
Specific link for the 21 Sep Beto event at Plaza Guadalupe in San Antonio, RSVP here:
https://act.betofortexas.com/event/action/16253?source=web_homepage_navbar&akid=
“With special guests: Julian and Joaquin Castro! ”
4Signups: 1359 attendees (so far)
It is just SO cute that Texans take the word “biggest” very personally. We Alaskans really do appreciate your support, y’all.
5Yeah and we don’t want that flake of human excrement any where near Kyle Field! Don’t even suggest such a thing! I may not recover for days…
6If Cruz tried to have his own concert he’d get a cease and desist order that wouldn’t allow him to use any songs still under copyright.
He could however, use the racist verses of old songs now in the public domain, and appeal to his base.
For instance, verse 2 of Oh Susanna:
I jumped aboard the telegraph and traveled down the river,
7Electric fluid magnified, and killed five hundred N-.
The bullgine bust, the horse ran off, I really thought I’d die;
I shut my eyes to hold my breath—Susanna, don’t you cry.
Oh Susanna…
Any chance of getting a reserected Bob Wills endorsement?
8Now that would lock this up.
Old Fart, that’s exactly what the mute button was invented for.
9Beto O’Rourke and Willie Nelson? It doesn’t get much better than that, especially not in politics. Ted Cruz’s rally should disappear in all that shade.
10I’ve already signed up for the Austin rally. What could be better than Beto and Willie together?
11I did cut and paste from an email Sand, Thanks. Beto, Willie, Waylon and the boys , don’t get more Texas than that.
12Slipstream, Texans have to either discount Alaska, or lose their entire state in it.
13Hey Ted Cruz,
The Red-Headed Stranger Willie’s got a little something just for you (with a slight upcharge for assholes) below.
(“On the Road” again was my co. division’s theme song)
I want a bumper sticker with Beto, Willie, and ‘The Family’ on it.
Y’all realize that Willie is 85 eefing years old?
Here you go Rafael, ESAD:
https://williesreserve.com/
“The legend of Willie’s stash lives on in WILLIE’S RESERVE™, a trailblazing line of marijuana products that celebrate Willie’s love of cannabis and the culture surrounding it.
14A LEGEND BORN FROM A LIFE ON THE ROAD
Willie Nelson has never made any bones about it. The cannabis culture is a way of life for him. And he has always operated under a simple philosophy: my stash is your stash.”
Be a damn shame if a CD doesn’t come from this, Willie and Beto. Like all the other Willie and …s. Willie and Waylon. Willie and Ray, Seven Spanish Angels. The Highwaymen. Willie and the Wheel. Williie and Julio Iglesias. Etc Etc
And before anyone asks, YES I did see Willie at Panther Hall in Fort Worth in early 1960s. Hello Walls!
15Rick –
That’s horrific!
Please tell me that Steven Foster didn’t write those words.
A lot of his songs aren’t performed any more, because of the lyrics. But others are still viable, like “Beautiful Dreamer” and “Hard Times”. And he really was one of our best American songwriters in his time. I really don’t want “O, Susannah” ruined for me forever.
16