Barack Obama is going to force us all to be homosexuals.

I did not know that.

Apparently it’s true because Mathew Staver, who is a dean at Liberty University Law School  (yeah, well, they’ve never heard of you either), says that homosexuality is going to be forced on us.  Except, I bet he says ho-mo-sex-u-al, you know stretches it out for the full impact like they do here in Texas.

Staver appeared on the conservative Christian radio show Crosstalk last Friday, telling host Jim Schneider that actions by the administration will ultimately result in “in-your-face forced abortion funding, in-your-face forced homosexuality, and in-your-face deconstruction of moral principles.”

Okay, so I admit it kinda sounds like your average frat party to me.

Before you start to thinking that this guy is nuttier than a port-a-potty at a peanut festival, I have some questions.  Do I get to pick my homosexual partner or is that done for me?  I mean, if mine is Michelle Bachmann I’m moving to Russia next week.  This forced homosexuality – are their whips and chains involved?  If so, we probably need somebody to calm down Rick Perry.

Thanks to Brian for the heads-up and the peanut festival line.  It’s a dandy.