I have decided that Republican brains do not work the same as mine.

Vaneta Becker: She protects your ears, bygawd!

With all the problems facing the world today, Indiana State Senator Vaneta Becker has decided that the most pressing problem is that some people don’t sing the national Anthem properly.

I’m not saying that she’s specifically referring to me, but there is a strong possibility that she is.  I can carry a tune pretty well, but I just can’t unload it worth a damn.  You recall when Rick Perry shot that coyote?  I don’t have to do that.  I just start singing to them and they commit suicide.

So, I was distraught to read that Ms. Becker came up with some rules for singing Jose, Can You See before baseball games.  In order to perform the National Anthem at a school or university you must follow these rules —

Performers would have to sign a contract agreeing to follow the guidelines. Musicians — whether amateur or professional — would be fined $25 if it were deemed they failed to meet the appropriate standards.

…What is and what is not “acceptable,” according to Becker’s bill, would be determined by the State Department of Education, with input from the Commission for Higher Education.

Becker said she would expect the guidelines to require that the national anthem be sung with the usual lyrics to the traditional melody — “the way that we normally have it sung or heard throughout most of our state and our country.”

Apparently Jimi Hendricks has arisen and has gotten a gig singing at the opening of K-Marts in Indianapolis and must be stopped!  Plus, Aretha Franklin is destroying little children’s minds in Evansville.

And, by gawd, $25 will make them straighten up and fly right.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up and thanks to Vaneta Becker for starting this year off right.