Well, Ain’t That a Kick in the Pants?
The Washington Post asked ten writers what they would get rid of while doing spring cleaning.
Texas, of course, made the list.
I cannot tell you the number of emails I get every day from people – some are perfect strangers – asking me to help Texas secede.
I live here, y’all. That’s just rude.
I know the NRA had a convention here in Texas, but they did it in a city with a gay liberal mayor. Why they picked Houston, I dunno. Houston is blue. I think they expected to see people walking through Discovery Green – Houston’s Central Park – with weapons strapped to their hips and wearing cowboy boots. It’s too damn hot to wear boots in Houston and heavy leather belts are outta the question. So is walking most days.
So, if Texas has to go, can Houston stay? How about Dallas; it’s blue? And the Rio Grande Valley. It’s full of good Democrats. And Austin, well, except for that SXSW thing.
I can see your point about East Texas, Armadillo, and especially Waco.
But, Houston? Please not Houston.
Thanks to Mom’s Hugs for the heads up.
I guess the writers also forgot about San Antonio and Julian Castro–young, intelligent, Democrat with more brain cells in his little finger than Cruz and Rubio have combined. The 23rd Congressional district, which has some of San Antonio is also represented by Democrat Pete Gallego, who thankfully beat that fool Canseco.
1I noticed that one of the contributors to that piece of wasted space was Jonah Goldberg, who suggested getting rid of income tax withholding.
I say we keep Texas, and get rid of the Jonah. He can live on one of the floating libertarian paradise “independent countries” proposed by various people who think that there would be no government in such places – any more than there is on Chiron Beta Prime (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3DyxaCYlfg)
Did I say “government” – I meant “protectors”…
2When I see pickup trucks with “Secede” bumper stickers on them, the driver is usually some old fart. What does he think is going to happen to his Social Security and Medicare? Does he even think?
3I get asked “why do you live in Texas” all the time by my beloved brothers and sisters in foreign parts. They just don’t understand. I love the weather here. It doesn’t snow. I can (almost) afford to live in Austin. Traffic isn’t too bad (except for that SxSW thing). I can get breakfast tacos (one of the necessary conditions for civilization).
Yes, we are the proving ground for Bad Government (though other states like KS, NC, ND, etc are gaining ground) and have horrid people in control of all three branches of gubmint. And I’m here working to vote them out of office. Someone has to vote progressive!
Texas will turn blue. And I want to be here when it does.
4Seems to me I remember a time when someone figured that Texas was big enough to carve into 5 new states! That almost sounded like a solution until you consider: which one gets the Alamo?
5There wouldn’t be so much trouble in Texas today if some fool in Buffalo (“Ghost Town”), NY, hadn’t invented air-conditioning so as to reduce the humidity and keep the paper from curling in his printing plant.
6The resolution that admitted Texas to the Union said “up to four additional states could be created from Texas’ territory”.
7Maybe it’s time to spin off the Red parts of Texas.
You know I love you but after living as a Yankee in Houston, the good parts (Alley Theatre, Art Museum, etc.) could all find homes in other places if Texas went back to it’s Mexican homeland.
But you would be miserable anywhere else & that’s reason enough to put up with Rick, Cornball, Louie, & the other crazies.
8I live and work in Houston, and would hate to have to leave all because the mental midgets that make up the majority of the masses managed to move the State to leave the Union. I mean, come on, this state would quickly lose half of the businesses as the US would impose economic sanctions on the State of Texas, not to mention the fact that all of the US military would no longer be present… and it’d be justice for the US to say to Mexico “all right, you lost last time, now’s your chance to take it back.”
9Texas has some outstandingly qualified gerrymanderers to call on. Can’t they somehow divide the state in two so we can get rid of the obnoxious part and keep the rest of you guys?
10After reading all nine previous comments, I must agree with all of them!
11I ain’t leavin’ Tayuksis unless I kin git all my kids and grandkids to tag along and anyway I’m not sure where I’d rather live, anyway–prolly someplace where you have to have a passport to get in and those thangs cost money.
12And I guess y’all can just carve the other states carefully around Austin….but how are we gonna visit west Texas, then?
13@maggie
snopes.com calls this claim “partly true” and provides a long discussion.
http://www.snopes.com/history/american/texas.asp
However, Article IV, Section 3, Clause 1 of the US Constitution trumps all and says
14“New States may be admitted by the Congress into this Union; but no new States shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State; nor any State be formed by the Junction of two or more States, or Parts of States, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned as well as of the Congress.”
The problem with everyone else’s view of Texans is the same as the problem with everyone else’s view of people who call themselves Christians: it’s the loud, obnoxious, nasty ones that get into the news. Y’all in the truly decent majority could maybe make some more noise so the rest of us hear from you more often.
15I understand your sentiments, JJ, but clearly the majority of voters in your Great State of Texas long ago ceded control over the megaphone to red gerrymandering-loving loud mouths like Bush, Perry, Cruz, Cornyn, Paul and Glenn Beck, too! I’d love to see Texas Democrats get voters to swing the state over to the blue side, but to do that, they have to grab all the microphones and megaphones in Texas… and stir the pot up hot to get media attention.
16I spent 8 miserable years explaining that I was from “Midland, home of YOUR president. He sure ain’t MINE.” My sainted grandmother was beside herself when Mexkins started moving into her neighborhood there. I think it would be a delicious irony to turn the state back over to Mexico and let the Rushites see how they like living under a REALLY corrupt and incompetent government.
Meanwhile, there’s this (not unlike Kansas).
17http://www.kansascity.com/2013/04/13/4180553/sumner-county-kan-like-much-of.html
I will never forget when I bought my house, 1275sf here in Seattle. At work I commented about our “Rain Tax”. The Texas Salesman meeting with my favorite Crew Chief (former Texan) was shocked! He asked if that was true? Well sure the Crew Chief said, it’s embedded in our sewer bills to pay for runoff.
The Salesman’s mouth just about hit the ground, “well, what would I do when my house in Texas is 4000sq?”
R.I.P. Dear Crew Chief, you taught me that a LOT of Texans are smart & caring folks!
18Let’s think about some of the other consequences if Texas seceded. Texans would require passports and possibly visas before crossing the border into the remaining United States. U.S. border protection would have to relocate its fence around Texas to prevent illegal immigration. All U.S. military facilities would have to be removed from Texas, including Ft. Hood, NASA and the Brooke Army Medical Center. Civilian federal employees in Texas would have to relocate, find other jobs or possibly just starve. (“Food stamps? We don’t need no stinkin’ food stamps!”) Texans wouldn’t have to wonder about Saturday mail delivery; they’d have to figure out how to get ANY mail. As aliens, it’s unlikely that their Texas gun permits would still be acceptable in U.S. jurisdictions. I’m sure JJ’s loyal contributors can think of many more consequences.
19UmptyDump – Here’s some more:
Weather forecasts: No more access to the National Weather Service, or even the National Hurricane Center.
Drivers licenses: No longer valid in any other state.
Travel: Customs offices at all border crossings.
Air Traffic Control: Federal Aviation Administration hauling out the radars.
I’m sure there’s LOTS more… but do you think anyone in this state in any position of authority has considered any of this?
20But then again, Ted Cruz, John Cornyn, Louie Gohmert, Steve Stockman and Brad Farenthold would all be gone from the U.S. Congress, and neither they nor Rick Perry could run for President. Koch brothers money could no longer pollute U.S. political life. Hmm … let’s think some more about this!
21And how about a new Texas National Motto: “This Is God’s Country. Worship Jesus Or Else.”
22The country would need a new Constitution and a new Bill of Rights, which could be limited to “The government shall make no laws restricting the right of Texas citizens to keep, acquire, bear or use arms.”
23In the spirit of the Tea Party, a provision in the Constitution can specify that “To promote and not penalize the goal of economic development, the government shall levy no taxes or fees, nor enact regulations that would impose costs on commerce.”
With the new Texas State Motto in mind, a wish and a prayer ought to work just fine.
24I was dragged here, in 1944, by my momma and daddy. So, I think I qualify to have a say.
We moved into a little house, out in Southeast Harris County, and Houston was so under-populated, we slept with the windows open, an attic fan pulling in cool,wet night air, and never locked the doors. Don’t ask me who the Governor was, I couldn’t say. But, I think Roy Hofheinz was Mayor.
And, he built the “AstroDome”.
Point is: Things change.
I now have an alarm system for my house, a dog, and some of my kids think I also need a gun.
I can tell you from what I see in my end of town, Mexico isn’t worried about Texas…. Most of the people I know who come from south of the border are buying back Texas. They start in neighborhoods like mine. Buy a modest home. And then they upgrade to Scarsdale, and then they upgrade to Green Tee. And, then they are living in Pearland. The Woodlands. Sugar Creek. All the good zip codes.
That’s what’s so scary to all these folks in the NRA, the Republican Party, you name it. Any of these groups that have a majority of old white guys. Things change. Political clout is shifting here in good ole Tejas. So is who has the money.
Had to happen sooner or later. I just hope I live long enough to see the sea change, I know is inevitable.
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