Welcome to Texas, Soldier. No, Wait.
I love yew, Texas.
If you haven’t heard, there’s going to be a large military exercise around the country from July 15th to September 15th. It’s called Jade Helm 15 because all military trainings have names and that one wasn’t taken, I suppose. Texas has five counties involved and the rightwing is damn sure that it means Obama is taking over and gonna put all them in a concentration camp Just! Like! Hitler!
So one of the Texas counties is Bastrop. Bastrop is between here and Austin. There’s some strange people living there.
After the county judge gave the military permission to hold some of these trainings in Bastrop, the citizenry went beeeeserk.
Lt. Col. Mark Lastoria answered questions for two hours from a crowd of more than 150 people at a special meeting of the Bastrop County Commissioners, hoping to allay locals’ concerns that the training operation is a way for the federal government to take over Texas and much of the Southwest. Instead, Lastoria was told that he couldn’t be trusted and was asked whether Jade Helm 15 will involve bringing foreign fighters from the Islamic State to Texas, whether U.S. troops will confiscate Texans’ guns and whether the Army intends to implement martial law through the exercise. (The answer for all three was no.)
One of the Bastrop residents insisted that the army was there to “gather intelligence” from the citizenry. Honey, if that was their mission, they would not be in Bastrop because there ain’t none there.
Cowboy! Think about it. If the military wanted to take over, they would not ask your permission first. They would just do it because I do not care a hill of beans how many guns you have, they have tanks. And bombers. And stuff you have never even heard of. It’s probably already in your front yard but you can’t see it because it’s covered in cammo.
Fort Hood, the most populous military base in the whole damn world, is an hour and half away by tank. Giant Dyess Air Base is 15 minutes away by B1 Bomber. There are 60 soldiers coming to Bastrop with Jade Helm 15. Sixty. I can see why this would upset your daily routine.
Here’s the plan: The rightwing should stay at home sitting by their radios listening for instructions during Jade Helm while the rest of us applaud our military for sweating in Texas so they won’t bleed on the battlefield.
The rightwing makes me crazy.
And you just KNOW this bunch of numbnuts have “support our troops” bumper stickers.
1Right wingers never fail to prove that they are truly the dumbest animals on the planet.
2Start with shipping all this “surplus” military equipment, free, to police departments around the country. Then start pushing everyone’s buttons so they get pissed off and some start burning things. Then holler for the police to go get those people.
Police state? Hell, these guys are all for it!
3What is concerning to me is that this isn’t just ignorance. It’s abject terror. This is what people get from RW radio. And people who are afraid will do extreme things.
4I applaud this lite colonel Mark Lastoria for not rofl his f’ing a$$ off during this 2 hour ordeal. Being exposed to such concentrated stooped must be excruciating. Probably his basic course never prepared him for this! Maybe he’ll suggest taking Jade Helm 16 to the metroplex southwest of Fort Worth.
5Judging from the photo, Bastrop needs a little chlorine in the gene pool.
6When did the right wing decide that the military is a liberal organization?
7San Angelo has it’s share tin-foil hat wearers in a panic…
http://www.gosanangelo.com/opinion/letters-to-the-editor/letter-jade-helm-worrisome_79405693
http://www.gosanangelo.com/news/local-news/officials-jade-helm-no-cause-for-panic_78627046
8So, did Bastrop forget to mention the guillotines, or don’t they know about that aspect of Jade Helm? Poor innocents…
Sometimes, I just want to go and live in a cave.
9It does concern me that those Bastropoids are almost certainly armed to the teeth, except maybe for toddlers. Sounds to me like an epidemic of clinical insanity.
10Bastrop is an excellent example of what comes of insufficient diversity (inbreeding). I reckon the Colonel figured that out right away. Ten to one he tests the water before letting any of his force take a drink. And do all sorts of other things to protect whoever is with him.
11Anyone wanna go to Bastrop with me? We can hand out little flyers informing the citizens to report to FEMA Camp #19 located in Nuevo Laredo by July 1st.
Hey, I’m retired. I look for entertainment wherever I can find some.
12Y’all remember the famous “Moran” picture of the doofy guy holding a misspelled sign up in protest to somethingsomethingObama (one word of which was ‘morans’ instead of ‘morons’).
Well, we now have a picture of some of his inbred kinfolk. Y’know, salt of the earth, morons (to paraphrase Mel Brooks).
Not to chastise the good ‘zens of Bastrop too much, it’s a nice enough place, took a big hit with the “Lost Pines” fires a few years back (pRicks’ drought/preyforrain ‘prayer-meetin’ didn’t save ’em), and (IIRC) was a strongly Democratic area not too long ago.
13When I look at the faces in the crowd seen in the photo above, I don’t think some of them understand the concept of “element of surprise.” Many look like they’re in a constant state of surprise.
14Jade Helm is purely an Alex Jones invention. Just like the almost-a-bloodbath last year at the Bundy ranch.
15This reminds me of an ’80s movie where the Russians & the Cubans team up and invade a US city. Do the invaders seize the armory, the airport, the TV stations, the local National Guard? No! They drive through the suburbs firing into all the picture windows (which are lit up by Christmas trees.)
16I am inclined to think that there has been entirely too much inbreeding among the rightwing citizens of Bastrop County, Texas.
17Not a brain cell between ’em.
18They flatter themselves, don’t they?
19They would love to have Ft. Hood in their county because it brings in hundreds of millions of dollars. But they are afraid of 50 soldiers with radios and computers. I’ve never been good with paradox, but it seems the fewer soldiers there are around, the more they are afraid.
20Not to worry! Governor Abbott is on top of it!
Wrote a letter, he did. Read the text of the letter here:
http://gov.texas.gov/files/press-office/20150428125759.pdf
21It seems to me this is of a piece with the major hissy the RWNJs throw whenever agenda 21 is mentioned. They just can’ thelp falling in with every conspiracy theory that comes their way.
22The zombiette standing next to the teabagger sign, wearing the chic “W- Miss Me Yet?” teeshirt, is surely the spawn of mamazombie sitting at the lower right corner of the sign; brothers Z next to her, boyfriend fooling around behind, dadazombie could be any of three or four of the silverbacks…(yeah, zoom in your browser if you dare)
Looks like the cast of a bad slasher flick- ‘The Texas Braincell Blackhole/Vacuum’, or something.
Like JanK says: “…It’s abject terror. This is what people get from RW radio. And people who are afraid will do extreme things.”
I’m just sorry the military isn’t holding part of the op down here, I would have luvved to attend one of those Mel Brooks movie shoots…errr…public meetings.
What a hoot, is there any video of this one?
23This should be as funny as almost 80 years ago when panic erupted among some radio listeners who missed the introduction of Orson Welles’ “War of the Worlds” and believed the Martians had landed.
Unfortunately, it’ll stop being funny when some some Bastrop County morons decide to exercise their “Second Amendment rights” and take out after members of the military. Since the service members are likely to be without live ammunition, I hope that the sheriff’s police are on alert to protect them.
24We need to have a poll or contest. What is the most rampant mental disorder in this country.
251) Faux Christianity
2) Gun obsession
263) Horrific racism
4) Paranoia
Oh.My.God. Everytime I think my fellow Texans have reached Maximum Stupid, I am unpleasantly surprised by something like this. I nearly gave myself a concussion from the facepalm. I often drive through, or by, Bastrop on my way to visit my libbrul kids at U-T; have always intended to actually stop & check out what the town has to offer……maybe I’ll wait till the locals calm down a bit.
27I live there. We’re NOT all like these idiots.
28Take for instance Texas Governor Greg Abbott, who recently ordered the Texas National Guard to monitor U.S. military training exercises that are planned in the state. Here’s the tweet he sent out:
Read more at: http://www.forwardprogressives.com/texas-gov-greg-abbott-orders-state-guard-monitor-activity-u-s-military/
Where is Karma when you want her?
29I realize that these folks are so conditioned to react to sound bites that they are more like roaches than people, but really. Remember, these folks believe that President Obama is a wimp who is loathed by virtually everyone in the military – and he’s going to use that same military to state a coup d’état. Then, you have to think that Governor Abbott is thwarting this plot by ordering the Texas National Guard to monitor the exercise – an exercise that they were almost certainly scheduled to take part in.
Stimulus, response. Stimulus, response. Thought? None.
30I’m still amazed that I’m still sober after all this stupid crap from them rednecks..
31I’m hoping that President Obama will have had enough of this bullcrap and hand Gov. Abbott a slap upside the head (read: swift kick in the danglers) WRT the Texas National Guards (Army and Air), ASAP.
You see, the TXNG and TXANG are merely loaned out under states command (w/guv as ‘temp’ CiC), serving under such state command at the pleasure of the President and/or the US Congress (they are called “National” for a reason).
The US government funds the paychecks and supplies the systems and equipment and everydamnthing else.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_National_Guard
President Obama could, at any time, for any reason, simply issue an EXECUTIVE FREAKING ORDER placing both forces directly back under FEDERAL control*.
I can’t think of a more justifiable opportunity to show these delusional would-be secessionists who is The Boss Right Effing Now. And a bloody ‘executive order’ would just smoke these dildos arses.
* From the Wiki link:”(The Army and Air National Guards are under the command of the Governor, unless the President of the United States activates the Guard into federal service by executive order…etc.)”. “Unless the President…”!
There is a third force, the Texas State Guard, which is a wholly state controlled entity, commanded by the guv, with most of its’ needs paid for by the TX state government itself (a big however: most of its’ fancy stuff** is provided by the Feds, and they can just stop that at any time…).
The TX State Guard, sans ‘systems and connections’, is only what Obama should leave Abbott in charge of; and since it is a much more crony-oriented entity than a true military force, it will be virtually toothless.
** “fancy stuff” is both tangible equipment (vehicles, weapons, etc.) and the more intangible things, such as communication links, intelligence, co-ordination and co-operation with other forces; ALLl of which could be basically ‘turned off’ with a stroke of the Presidential pen.
This whole scenario may just shape up as to present Obama with the perfect, and fully justified, chance to be every bit as a Machiavellian, nut-cutting SOB as his illustrious Democratic predecessors FDR, Truman, JFK, and LBJ were when dealing with ‘deserving’ adversaries.
Go for it, Obama, your chance to leave a ragged raw mark on a real jackass’s hide.
32These people worry about tyranny, yet they ignore the oppression that goes on every day: Police departments are shooting blacks in broad daylight all over the country.
But the military conducts a training exercise, and now they are worried.
33Good Idea Sandridge!
Put the TxNG and TxANG back under Federal Control and start rounding up these Subversive Wing Nuts into the FEMA Camps…
Convene the Death Panels and determine which will be sent for Reeducation and which will be Executed…
It’s about time we did something with these Rabid Right Wing Secessionists and restored Texas to normalcy…
After Gov Abbott’s arrest President Obama can appoint Willie Nelson as Acting Governor until order is established and elections can be run…
34Sandridge, I agree more than disagree with your premise. But do take a look at what is happening right now to the most recent Executive Orders. They are bogged down, temporarily, in a Texas court in a lawsuit signed by 24 governors, mostly from south of the Mason Dixon Line. And aided and abetted by House and Senate members from that area. The Supremes would also want to get into the act as well. Yes, Obama could do as you recommend, but he had better have the 101st and the 82nd airborne locked and loaded when he does. This is gonna cause more than panic in parts of the country.
35So… the Chronicle reports the State Guard is a militia of volunteer reservists headquartered at Camp Mabry in Austin…
36When are the NFL, the NBA, Microsoft, et.al., going to advise Premier Abbot they will boycott this entire state unless he locks up all the guns and the NRA idiots who still play cowboys and aliens in their weak little heads?
Are they afraid that the feds will ask for the Great State of Texas to reimburse the excess in federal tax dollars they receive wrt the amount they pay? “Protect freedom”? And troops will be given the knowledge and skills to do this by some divine gift? No practice needed?
37I read about the Governor sending the Texas State Guard to “observe” the U.S. Army during this mission.
My first thought was: “What is the TSG going to do.. if they see something they think Abbott might not like?” Just wondering.
Reading the comments on these stories…. the RWNJ are swooning over the governor’s deployment of Abbott’s personal army. They are totally convinced that Obama is after their guns.
Maybe this idiocy makes Abbott feel better than continuing to file, and lose, lawsuits. Who knows?
38If, mind you, there were, say a date of expiration, would these folks admit error if their fears were unfounded? Or would they cry victory at heading the overthrow at the pass?
Why can’t the truth set them free :-/
39Heading the overthrow off at the pass…
40These people need to go hunting…. for the marbles they lost!
41Redwood,
Good snark. And Willie for guv, hell yeah.
maggie,
Little chance of a court tie up with this (IMO).
There is too much legal precedent; it is a military issue, and the TXANG/TXANG are actually units of the US Army and Air Force, not Texas (or the other states).
Unlike the Texas State Guard, which is a wholly state controlled ‘militia’, and basically a weak crony infested wannabee.
Limited command of xxANG/xxANG (the real military units) is only temporarily granted to the various governors (see the Wiki link(s) for details), and reverts to the true USA military Commander in Chief (Obama) with the stroke of a Presidential pen; for any reason desired.
The funding, logistics, protocols, etc., of them is strictly held by the Federal government; with one link in the chain of command only temporarily switched to a states’ governor, for convenience mostly.
If the wingnuts want to ‘stroke out’ over it, let them.
42As I suggested, this would be a good time for Obama to show them who is the supreme ‘Boss’ (and I actually share much of their distrust of our modern “surveillance state”, etc., just can’t hack their other idiocies).
We all know it’s just more of the (Perry-type) secessionist bullcrap rhetoric from Abbott, a good time for Obama to put him in his place.
Sigh. As was mentioned earlier, everyone in Bastrop isn’t nuts. I kind of thought that sign was clever, myself. Texas is so big that trying to communicate over long distances in Texas is like whatever that gossip game is where you whisper something to the person next to you and he whispers what he heard to the next person and you go around the circle to learn that what made it to the end is nothing like what started. I hate to say, seems to me like maybe the whole thing is kind of demented. Why do we need to be running around the world starting wars anyway? Oh, to keep the gun shops and the pawn shops in business and to make a ton of money for the builders of tanks and bombers etc.
43Lorraine, I’m retired too, because I’m crippled. How’s about you come here to Austin and we’ll stage a visit to Bastrop?
You see, my only son, a 21-year-old seventh-generation Texan, has been in the Army for a couple of years now. And I am just mortally offended that these lackwits apparently believe that patriots like my son are the enemy.
So let’s hand them a flyer, and if they don’t look at it and then tell us to get the hell out of town, I’ll beat them over the head with my cane. Nobody ever pays any attention to old ladies, so I calculate we can do this indefinitely.
Hell, we can do the tour of Texas. I’ll pay for the gas if you’ll drive.
44