Okay, it’s holiday season but I still have a deadline for OutSmart.  I’m working on two Top Ten Lists.  Pitch in to help if you have time.

#1: Great names for Donald Trump.  Of course, Cheetos Jesus is on the list.  I also like Mein Fubar, Festering Slab of Conservative Slime, Prima Donald, Bratman, and Hair Fuhrer.  Do you have any favorites?  You know, besides Mango Mussolini, which is kinda cool.

#2:  I am certain that the minute Trump takes office, he will change or repeal all the laws of physics.

Like,

Space distance is no long measured in light years, but in newly discovered Tweet Time, making it the fastest damn thing in the universe.

All laws of thermochemistry are changed to just one, making test day much easier:  Spray Tan is not forbidden to streak in summer heat.

Einstein’s field equation will describe the curvature of space-time due to mass-energy equivalent to the gravitational field and funniness ratio of Saturday Night Live.

Change the Theory of Relativity to mean: if you’re a relative, you have a job.

The Law of Gravity now means that Jesus wants you to sit down.
Kellyanne’s Corollary: and shuddup.

You get the idea.  And I am certain that your ideas are way better than mine.