We Don’t Mind Those Smoldering Homosexuals, It’s the Flaming Ones That Bother Us

January 10, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The American Family Association isn’t American or Family Centered but it is, however, an Association so one out of three ain’t bad.

They tend to use the Bible as a weapon instead of a guideline.  So, they were outraged, outraged I tell you, that the proposed Employment Nondiscrimination Act will cause “flaming homosexuals” to storm Christian bookstores and demand jobs.

Well, don’t that just beat all.

You mean Christian bookstores where they have signs that say Love One Another?

Brian Fischer, the leader of the American Family Association, henceforth know only as Association, was having celestial visions.

If the law goes into effect, “the homosexual lobby will send a flaming homosexual into that Christian bookstore to apply for a job. They’ll send a guy in there wearing stillettos, a dress, and dangly earrings and dare the owner of that Christian bookstore not to hire him.”

Describe the dress, Brian, I want to know more about the dress.  No self respecting homosexual would wear just “a dress.”  It would have to be an outfit.  And it would have accessories better than oh dear God dangly earrings, a certain tool of the devil.

Brian Fischer: Flaming

It’s not in the story, but I’m betting you that Brian got himself so enthralled with the vision of RuPaul working behind his counter that he had to excuse himself for a minute to go take a cold shower and fan himself for a minute.

Anyway, if the “homosexual lobby” (which, best I know, is outside most any Broadway musical) doesn’t do this, I will.

And Brian Fischer didn’t even consider another result of the Employment Nondiscrimination Act – he could demand to be hired at an adult book store.

Thanks to Claudia for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “We Don’t Mind Those Smoldering Homosexuals, It’s the Flaming Ones That Bother Us”


  1. I highly recommend you change “Association” to “ass” for a number of reasons:

    It’s more descriptive of Mr. Fischer;
    it will let people know what they are actually contributing to;
    and it is shorter and easier for the idiots who do contribute to write on their checks.

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  2. I am an atheist, and I have no desire to work for a christian organization. I guess I would if I was really desperate.

    These religious nutjobs need to get in their heads that we are not interested in their religion, on any level. We don’t have “god-shaped holes” in our hearts, we don’t have a yearning for god, and we really really really do not want them telling us what to do. I am not interested in interacting with religious people on any level. I just want them to stay out of my life and never ever try to influence or impinge upon it in any way.

    Another irony is they think that everybody else is egotistical and self-centered.

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  3. publius bolonius says:

    I would never grace a Christian bookstore with my sparkly pumps with matching bag. Never! Although it may be worth it just to see the brain fart. Getcher camras reddy, kids.

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  4. Sometimes I think Bryan Fischer is auditioning for Fred Phelps position when that old sinner finally punts.

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  5. Hey, for the fun of it, think I might ride over to Hendersonville, TN and apply to Paul and Jan Crouch’s place (purple-haired female on TBN). The golden and purple-velvet palace they built when they stole Conway Twitty’s estate from his kids. I will wear dress as a lesbian for the lulz and see what happens~

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  6. Jesus forgave prostitutes, murderers, etc. If Brian Fischer is worried about a few flaming homosexuals who might stroll into a Christian bookstore, wouldn’t the WWJD response be to forgive them, once he figured out what he was forgiving them for? Sounds more like he’s itching to stone or crucify them.

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  7. I’m sure Brian has just the right dress in his closet.

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  8. June, I was going to recommend we refer to them as af-ass from now on. Of course that would only be af-right since they are really total asses.

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  9. scottybeamer says:

    As an older gay man, I would bet dumb fisher that I could go to any store , in drag , and not a person there would know that I was a man. He’s not nearly as sharp as he would have his hateful believers think. He really does need to get hisownself out of that damn closet and shut up already!

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  10. Perhaps we should send Brian baby some nice pumps, it might help with that pinched look on his face, well that and some prunes. Show me a homophobe and I’ll show you a closet.

    It has been my experience that people may distrust the unfamiliar but they only hate what they see in themselves. They also tend to assume (you know the rule about assuming right.), that everyone else will act the way they would act. So if Brian were not welcome somewhere he would force his way in. If someone doesn’t agree with Brian he would be in their face demanding they accept his view. It is after all Brian’s world and we are merely visitors. It is unfathomable to Brian that anyone, whether they be LGBT or straight might not want to invade his strange space.

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  11. Perhaps they should be more concerned with their out of wedlock teen age pregnancy problem and their higher then liberals’ divorce rate then who wears what into a store.

    Ya think they would even recognize Jesus if he returned today? Or would they deport him ASAP?

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  12. I vote we lock him and his intolerant compatriots in a theater and make him watch “Kinky Boots” with Chiwetel Ejiofor, followed by “To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar” with Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, and John Leguizamo. If that doesn’t get through to them, we can add “Connie and Carla.”

    Even if they dress “with style,” these folks are just people and deserve to be treated as such.

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  13. @scottybeamer – Just memorize a few lines from The Church Lady on SNL and when you walk in he’d think he was preachin’ to the choir.

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  14. Corinne Sabo says:

    Gee, how did they know it is every lesbian and gay’s most cherished job – clerking at a christian book store (lowercase deliberate).

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  15. Diane, if Jesus walked in and asked for a job, they’d take one look at that “dress” he’s painted as wearing and toss him out on his ear.

    Yeah, I’m looking forward to the flamers lined up outside Christian bookstores, demanding to work there. Please…. Like the evangelicals lined up demanding to work in gay strip clubs.

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  16. Well… actually, there might be a few of those.

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  17. We need some empirical evidence about this. Anyone who will volunteer to dress up like Klinger and give it a try?

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  18. scottybeamer says:

    @Rick…………LOL

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  19. gabberflasted says:

    publius, would a camera capture the image of the Chimeras who inhabit these stores?
    Sons of motherless goats, they are.

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  20. It never ceases to amaze me how any of those Looney Tunes can think that anyone takes anything they say seriously…. only the other Looney Tunes. Everyone else enjoys the laugh.

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