Uh, Nugent, Your Hair Wasn’t The Problem
Ted Nugent cut his hair, put on a suit, and announced that he’s considering running for President.
I swear I am not kidding you.
When asked by the Washington Post, Nugent responded …
Hi, I’m Ted Nugent. I have nine children from seven women, and I’m running for president.” Nugent takes a sip of water, having delivered his potential slogan. “Yeah, I’m thinking about it.”
Well hell, I have a better slogan, “More women that Newt, more brains than Palin, and more guns than Cruz.”
I expect The Donald is angry that he’s been upstaged. This sounds like a Palin-style candidacy: get in the the publicity, leave when the donations taper off.
It will be interesting to see how many Republican candidates that the Nuge can pull into the Tea Party tar pits with him. One can hear the screams of the trapped candidates now as they sink into the sticky black depths: “It’s the fault of Those People!”
1One word: Vietnam.
2There was a poll on that site asking Would you consider voting for him for President?
I said No and checked to see the results. I was amazed that over 50% (I think it was 53._%) said yes. Of course maybe the keyword was consider and I must admit I considered it while reading the question, maybe 5 seconds, before thinking No Way.
3More brains than Palin? I’d vote equal in brains to Palin.
4“And more crust than a nickel pie.”
5This is getting way too funny. That picture alone should prompt some hastily constructed crosses and necklaces of garlic. Their smiles are so phony, I can just about hear him saying “smile for the camera honey or else.” Her eyes look like she’s scared to death, his are just insane looking.
Diversions . . . nothing but.
6And more sh*t than shinola . . .
7Breaking news today when Ted Nugent announced he is considering a run for president, and is quoted as saying “Yeah, I’m thinking about it.”
Reporters are on the scene to investigate our top story that Ted Nugent, in fact, believes he can think. Updates at 10.
8I assume he will run as a Republican. Goodie. Right now the Republicans deserve a whole bunch of bad things happening to them.
9I think his best slogan would be: when you wake up and discover he is president, you too can crap your pants like he did to avoid the draft.
10Right on Lorraine – Vietnam. “Bat Shi_ Crazy” Ted crapped his pants to get out of being drafted. 9 children from 7 women? Put a sock on it. Isn’t that just like some of the spew that his type claim about people on welfare.
11How is it that every wacko conservative thinks he/she is qualified to be president? Too stupid to know how stupid he/she is. Take your 9 kids and go home!
12You sure about the brains?
13Hey Team!
14I don’t criticize ANY previously submitted slogan, but PLEASE work in “Motor City Madman” somehow.
For me. OK?
Sh–ybritches
15Domestic Terrorist, Chicken Hawk Coward, Child Rapist Ted Nugent embodies Conservatism and is a perfect choice for the Republican Party for President
“I like Ted Nugent. He’s a friend of mine.” – Sean Hannity
Ted has been saying stupid, evil, terrorist shit for years.
But, even though Ted Nugent talks tough when his time came for Real Combat Nugent quite literally shit himself to dodge military service. In a 1977 interview Ted recalled that,
“30 days before his Draft Board Physical, he stopped all forms of personal hygiene. The last 10 days he ingested nothing but junk food and Pepsi, and a week before his physical, he stopped using the bathroom altogether, virtually living inside his pants caked with excrement and urine. That spectacle won Nugent a deferment.”
Nowadays Ted, of course, denies this every happened, it doesn’t fit with the bullshit image he wants to have about himself and claimed he only received student deferments for enrolling in Oakland Community College. Although, Ted did admit he “didn’t want to get his ass blown off in Vietnam.”
But, even worse than being a typical cowardly chicken hawk Right-Winger, Nugent bragged in 1998 about having sex with underage girls during his caveman heyday in the 1970’s. Courtney Love stated she and Nugent had sex when she was 12 years old.
16All the ammo at the Waco Academy sells out every week, except Ted’s (Yes, there’s Ted Nugent ammunition, don’t tell me you’re surprised). But I outsmarted the Waco ammo hoarders and got my .243(its a hunting round, not a calibre usually associated with home defense, or defending ‘Merca from libruls) from Austin. But I digress.
17We love Ted, he makes the rest of us who choose to live here look relatively sane. I hope he runs and gets lots of donations from the crazy wing of the R party. I don’t see how that critter can fly with all those right wings, btw.
The man is a better Mormon than most of the LDS persuasion. Before we go knocking him down consider what the primary debates will look like. Cruz, Perry, Santorum, Rand, Jindal and Ryan will crazy the mix so much that the semi-reasonable Christie and Jeb Bush will drown in the effluence.
And as a sidebar, it makes a good story but there is no hard evidence supporting the draft dodging story. He didn’t serve so there was some reason, but the dirty diaper meme is insupportable. We need to let that one drop and stick to the high road.
18P lease let him please let him run. My life would be complete.I love see grown men cry.
19Nine kids from seven women?! He’s getting in “Duggar” range but with lots of different Mrs. Duggars! Family values.
20He’s definitely got his pro-life creds with 9 kids.
What a gift to Democrats.
21Love his commitment to the little ladies,his personal responsibility for his various and sundry wood’s colts,his patriotic fervor when it was placed on the line during Vietnam and his penchant for wrapping himself in Old Glory just in case you think he is as phony as a nine dollar bill. He can always refuse to answer tough questions saying all those years of exploring the mysteries of guitar noise has made him deef.
22Mule Breath-I read the Playboy interview where Nugent proudly declared that for two weeks before induction he Pi$%ed,shat and puked on himself and got out of the military on “pure stink’. That interview is out there in cyberspace somewhere. I read it shortly after it was published. He also tells of his Detroit life riding around with friends “Nunning”. That is where he would choke his gopher under a city map and shortly before blast-off they would stop beside a Nun and ask for directions. When she would put her finger on the map he would force his little Teddy through the map and give the Nun a load. This second trick might have come from a different interview. My humble apologies to Mama.
23http://planet.infowars.com/activism/ted-nugent-was-no-angel-the-high-times-interview-admits-he-dodged-the-draft-did-meth
This is a portion of an interview from High Times mag. where Nugent admits he dodged the draft. This is not the interview I cited above and there is very frank language,so reader be warned. Miss Juanita I ask your forgiveness for seeking this out.
24Hall, go for it Ted. You might as well join the Repug circus train in 2016. You’ll add to the fun.
25Miss Jaunita, I lived and worked in the Motor City for 25 years. Never saw a nun on the streets. Must be another one of his drug induced cobwebby stories. I’ve seen him on the teevee often enough, sometimes even with Reverend Huckabee as back-up guitar while Nugee sang the most scatological lyrics. Huck never batted an eyelash. Frankly, Nugee is the male equivalent of a $2 bleepity-bleep dressed up for a $10 rodeo. And he can take them 9 kids and make them into a baseball team.
26Wait–this man has actually reproduced?!! That is the most shocking part of this weird story!! 😉
27Hey, enough on the 9 kid razzing. He gave up the first two for adoption and I know the great family who adopted the baby girl. She is a lovely young woman with kids of her own. I have this to say to him: Nurture Over Nature Nugent!
28We can, as Mule Breath suggests, stay on the high road. The Republicans are currently doing a spectacular job of eating their own. I imagine Ted would be a lovely first course, perhaps accompanied by a decent Chanti.
29Oh, Nugent for Pres. Of course he’d go Republican, which just makes this even better.
Will anyone capabale of voting still remember him?
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