Trump / Putin Summit
I was just told by people who pretend to know these things that Trump’s first interview after his meeting with Putin will be with Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson.
And as soon as I stop banging my head on the table, I want to ask Sean and Tucker how it feels to be the world’s first human cuddly blanket.
The latest in Informercials!
Fox News: because Trump’s ass won’t kiss itself.
The interview will be accidentally titled: Know Collusion.
I hear that Putin will also be meeting with his state run newscast.
Come on, you’ve got some one liners – I know you do.
Before the meeting begins Putin presents Trump with a gift, a new desk plaque:
The Ruble Stops Here
(& is then deposited into my bank account)
Hannity & Carlson both die of a panic attack before the post Summit interview, while brainstorming together on how they could possibly spin it.
1I might have to hold my nose and watch Fox, to see how they spin the news that Trump just swapped Alaska for the rights to build a new Trump hotel in Moscow
2I expect Trump will declare that Russia is now our friend, that there never was any collusion, and that the entire Mueller investigative team will be extradited to Russia to face persecution for saying mean things about Putin. (Shortly after their arrival, they’ll all succumb to food-related illnesses.)
3P.S.: When I say “persecution”, I mean persecution, not prosecution…
4As long as we don’t have to return all the extracted oil, gold and return the landscape its origional condition.
And we loose two GOP senators, maybe a worth while exchange?
Now I’m heading for cover
5:)) the smiley didn’t take
6Trump will eat McKrelim burgers with that secret sauce. I hope he shares nicely with Faux Noose…
7OOPs – Kremlin, not Krelim…my bad!
8Sorry to disagree, Miss J. J., but this time you are wrong.
Trump’s ass does kiss itself.
9slip, well, his head is in the immediate vicinity….
Actually, it’s not. His head is so far up it that he’s looking out of his mouth.
10A posting on Facebook that needs more readers:
“Ok, so I’ve actually sat down and read the entire 29 page Mueller indictment against the 12 Russian intelligence officers, and it is totally insane. I literally can’t believe the scope of this thing. I’m making this status public (i.e., shareable), because people need to know about this [****].”
https://www.facebook.com/umarjames.dunlap/posts/2142509465980889
It’s a bit long, but a lot less than 29 pages, and all Americans should know what’s in that document.
11Fake Noize. Russia endorsed. Putin approved.
12Let’s stop referring to Fox news as Fake news. It isn’t news at all, it is propaganda. I heard a speaker on MSNBC call it a Propraganda machine. That is what comes out of those Trump toadies, pure unadulterated horse crap that smells as bad as it sounds. Tucker and Sean had better wear high rubber boots to that “interview” with Horse Crapper-in-Chief and carry a soapy towel for those very brown noses. Oh, I apologize for those of us with weak stomachs. i just made myself sick.
13When five bimbos on the Fox couch can’t get the job done, bring in the fluffers Carlson and Hannity.
14Apologies for that euphemism. But trying to avoid a foot race with Mama and her cake of soap, I stumbled into a bad pun within a bad pun. “Make up artists” sure describes Carlson and Hannity in both meanings of the words, as on air personalities and their relationship with Donnie. However will Vlad thank them for their services?
15When dictating a new reality:
Let’s do
16the gas-light
again…
IIRC, years ago, Tucker had a short-lived PBS venue where he didn’t seem like a whack-job. Is he a chameleon? Does he still wear that cute little bow tie? (I can’t get Fox News)
17When I was 5 years old I used to sit up late with my father and listen to Hitler on our short-wave radio. I considered Hitler very funny (and farcical if I had known the word) and laughed when he went into hysterics.
But when I laughed, my father said, “Wait. Listen.”
Then I heard the crowd of voices in a great hall chanting in unison “Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler”
So, we rightly mock Trump. But we have to take him seriously also.
18Putin will give Snowden to tRump on a silver platter.
19@Old Mayfly #18:
They also cheered “Sieg” (Victory) “Heil” (Hail).
Even back then, it was all about the winning…
20@Jane & PKM:
I hope Faux Noise uses mouthwash.
21Papa, mouthwash? I didn’t know anyone at Fox Noise had hygiene habits.
Recommended chyron for Fox Noise whenever the topic is Dotard45: Four-year-olds lack the experience to wield power responsibly. #NoiseCancellingHeadphones Recommended.
Saving crazy uncle from the Fox effect – remove his hearing aid battery.
22Maybe…”Putin on the Twits” or “Putin on the Tweets” sung to the tune of “Puttin’ on the Ritz”. Or, if Trump keeps up trying to split up NATO and the EU, maybe it’s “Putin on the Blitz.”
23Jane & PKM:
Faux Noise will need Listerine after sucking Rump’s butt.
24Clay Bennett captured my thoughts here: somebody’s gonna get lucky tonight.
25https://www.gocomics.com/claybennett/2018/07/12
Вам нужно уйти так скоро? Я собирался отравить чай.
26Couldn’t Pompeo or Lavrov tell Putin and Drumpf to just get a room in a neutral country? Would save the costs of these repetitive “state visits”. Reminds me of 60’s Aggies going to LaGrange or Marines hitting Tijuana.
27Micr, there’s a solid chance that my snark meter was inadvertently ground through the covfefe translator. Isn’t Finland a neutral country? It would be nice if Vlad at least meet Donnie at half the distance somewhere out in the middle of the ocean. Each country could palletize their ‘leader’ for an airdrop.
fwiw Stormy Daniels should replace John Kelly as White House Chief of Staff. She had the wherewithal to roll up a magazine to spank that brat.
28@Jane & PKM
PKM u d man! In Finland they could tango for hours…
It would take a C5A to deliver Spanky mid-ocean. A Sh!thook could lift him in a hover but moving his prodigious a$$ would require thrust unavailable in the Sh!thook’s engines.
29Micr, the last time a Sh!thook’s engine’s were capable of lifting Donnie his mother was flying the infant to the changing table for a clean diaper. She wore Air-Pak X3 Pro SCBA and double gloved. But no effort could save her hair which bore a striking resemblance to the same dead animal Donnie now wears on his head.
https://www.rt.com/usa/353710-donald-mary-trump-hair/
30@Jane und PKM
I am blessed with a short memory. So forgetting the image of Mary Drumpf while difficult will happen.
But to your point, conclusively in that image Mary Drumpf IS wearing the same colored dead muskrat that her imbecile son wears. The nut didn’t fall far from that quiffed junk tree.
31Oddly, reading some of the comments, people must think momma’s not still paying attention.
32Micr and Jane & PKM, no need for a Sh!thook or Jolly Green to lift this sonuvabitch up above tree level, just drag his sorry fat azz across the terrain like a vermin infested javelina carcass.
.
Any of y’all notice one of Tsar Trump’s latest twitterings about how YOU (all of ‘us’) are (again said) “the enemy of the people”, as in “all the Dems”?
The ghost-written tweet has a grammatical error, should be a serial comma before ‘ and all the Dems’, but you know your mortal enemies by now, right?
Are you ready for where this goes?
“@realDonaldTrump
FollowFollow @realDonaldTrump
More
…over the years, I would return to criticism that it wasn’t good enough – that I should have gotten Saint Petersburg in addition! Much of our news media is indeed the enemy of the people and all the Dems…
9:18 AM – 15 Jul 2018”
Bring ’em on…
33Sandridge, we were hoping for Air Force One to meet Kompromat One mid-Atlantic for joint airdrops. But “drag his sorry fat azz across the terrain like a vermin infested javelina carcass” works, too. Especially mid-Atlantic. Yee haw come on with some transatlantic waterboarding, substituting sea state 9 for “terrain.”
34Jane & PKM, “sea state 9” works for me, lends a new meaning to the phrase “blowin’ like stink”, which it certainly would be with Comrade Bonespurs skipping over the waves.
35The stench of these Repukes from Tsar Trump on down is enough to gag a MAGAot. “Drain the Swamp”, how many fools swallowed that one.
The indictment I downloaded runs to 37 pages, not 27. But many of those are tables and listings, such as “fraudulent bank account numbers for the purpose of evading PayPal’s security measures”. Here’s the direct link:
https://www.justice.gov/file/1035477/download
And I agree, it is worth reading by any U.S. citizen. I’m also willing to bet that NONE of the subliterate Fox News gowks has actually read it, or even had someone read it to them. As far as betting goes, I’d give 10 to 1 odds that Trump has never and will never read it, but will slap on the “fake news” label anyway.
Trump makes me remember the description I learned in El Campo decades ago: if I ordered a whole train load of sons of bitches and they only delivered him, I’d accept it as a full shipment.
36@The Surly Professor
+1 for “… if I ordered a whole train load …”
37I needed that verbiage to make my point elsewhere. Consider it stolen, but used only with attribution. 🙂
easttxdem, how about “My Heart Belongs To Vladdy”?
38Sorry, Kids, but I’m too dismayed and scared to laugh right now.
39