Truman’s Second Amendment Rights
Most of you know that I have a dog named Truman. He’s 15 pounds of fierce and fabulous.
I love Truman dearly but I have decided that he cannot exercise his Second Amendment Rights. Yeah, he’s upset about it and yabbers about his cold dead paws and stuff, but damn.
Click right about here to see why.
From Wyoming to Florida, dog posses with vicious intent are shooting their owners. And you gotta admit that’s not an easy accomplishment considering that most dogs don’t have opposable thumbs. However, those that do are real sumbitches.
One of them even used a 12-gauge shotgun to shoot his owner in the butt.
And there’s this guy who, bless his heart, doesn’t know how to unload his rifle so his dog shot him.
As luck would have it, Truman does not have thumbs, which kinda explains why he’s really bad at loading the dishwasher, but he can change the teevee channel with the remote using only feet so I’m not taking any chances.
Thanks to Kevin for the heads up.
Mrs. B., Truman loves you; he’ll probably forget about a gun, if you buy him a football. Meanwhile, I eagerly await news that Jill Hadassah has joined the Canine Posse and in a clear case of stand her ground winged one $cary $arah.
If you would please, have Mr. B. contact me regarding his retainer fee. We want Jill to have the best legal defense a dog can have. TIA
1I hope you all click JJ’s link, and definitely don’t neglect watching those videos embedded there. You will love them.
2Clicked the link. AKLynne, they are totally proof that canines are actually evolving, especially in a way that they cannot possibly be blamed. Gotta give the Frenchman his creds for admitting to his own damn fault. More than any of the Yanks did.
3From one of the stories in the link:
“The deputy on the scene was quoted as saying, “The dog did something to make the gun discharge. I don’t know if the safety device was on.” ”
Could someone who knows about guns enlighten me: what the frack is a “safety” if it could have been on and a dog could still make the gun go off? If that’s true, what earthly use is this misnamed “safety”, or is this just a deputy who’s as clueless about guns as the bozo who got shot?
And surely the earth would crack open and swallow anybody who waltzed around with a gun that wasn’t loaded at all times…. Well, since some of them have been buried because of that belief, I guess the earth did crack open for them.
4I would like to point out, that in all these stories about a dog “accidentally” shooting someone, not once has it ever been reported that Fido hit another dog.
Coincidence?
5Cats, now. Cats shoot with intent.
Just sayin’.
6DaChipster! Cats are far to smart to interfere with the gravy train, however clueless they are about other things. Maybe Fido fed up w fetch-“oh yeah? Fetch THIS Furless!!”
Miss Juanita, I am certain Truman could be far better trusted to a) pass any licensing test, and b) handle a firearm in a responsible fashion, than ANY of these twits we’ve been reading about over the last 4-5 years. I would bet cold cash money on it, in fact!
7Now that the cat is out of the bag,so to speak,the NRA will sue gun makers to ensure all pets have equal access to firearms that go boom in the night,or the boat,or duck blind or wherever. Not sure they can make one for Fake Noise Blondes.
8My dog doesn’t want a gun. He says he & the cats can handle me all by themselves. They’re right.
9We named our latest puppy Hashiell Dammett. Why? you may ask. Cause I want to go to the garage door and shout at the dog, “Com’ere Dammett”.
10Good one,Micr says:
11Love Hashiell’s surname, Micr. I can just see your neighbors’ faces upon hearing you call your dog.
12My dog is a peace-loving beagle/fox hound mix who agrees that guns are not fun. Now I know that his hound ancestry was bred to lead hunters to the fox, but he now admits that it was all about running and sniffing and those damned guns spoiled everything, especially for the fox. He’d just as soon play find the food I drop.
Years ago I named one of my cats Qwatt… just so I could summon him by saying “Come Qwatt!” He never would come. I am not a great fan of dogs having been attacked a couple of times (one ending with me in the hospital getting shots). But I suspect there is no way a dog could cause a gun to go off unless the human in charge of said weapon was an idiot and had his/her head so far up his/her backside that a bellybutton window was needed to see where he/she was going. (I cleaned up part of that to keep on the good side of Momma!)
13I don’t have a gun, or know much about them. I DO know enough to know that THE GUN IS ALWAYS LOADED. A friend’s wife lost her dear grandson a few months back because a very responsible gun owner forgot that. Good for the dogs. I hope none was punished. And good for the Frenchman, who took responsibility for the loss of his hand.
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