Okay, so most of you know that Republicans are running around so shaking and excited that they could thread a sewing machine while it’s running about a horror right here in the United States of Damn America — stand up and holler — voter fraud!

GOP Version of Typical South Texas Democratic Voter

They pretend to be totally convinced that Democrats are busing in people from Guatemala or Russia or someplace to vote in the Illinois election.  I say pretend because they truly are pretending.  They are attempting to take our eyes off real voter fraud being done by Republicans – Voting By Mail.

I told you about it last week and how Republicans in my county got away with it.  And the New York Times picked up on it this morning.

In a 2005 report signed by President Jimmy Carter and James A. Baker III, who served as secretary of state under the first President George Bush, the Commission on Federal Election Reform concluded, “Absentee ballots remain the largest source of potential voter fraud.”

On the most basic level, absentee voting replaces the oversight that exists at polling places with something akin to an honor system.

“Absentee voting is to voting in person,” Judge Richard A. Posner of the United States Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit has written, “as a take-home exam is to a proctored one.”

Now, I’m not saying that the New York Times picked it up because I mentioned it.  I’m just saying that might have happened.  And the Easter Bunny might have lost his cotton tail.  You can’t know theses kinds of things for a fact.

So kinda by accident and kinda by damn nosy, I discovered that the Democrats in Fort Bend have never had a recognizable Democrat on the committee that looks at vote by mail ballots to decide if they are legitimate.  So, just out of pure meanness, I called my county chairman (who is new) and asked if I could be on that committee.  He not only said yep, he also asked me to round up two other people to be on it.

So, I got my friend Cary, a retired FBI Agent, and Judy, a recently retired librarian and meaner than ten acres of snakes when it comes defending Democrats.  Then I called the elections administrator and announced our picks.  The election administrator seems like a nice enough guy but he didn’t seem real excited about us invading the usual committee.  He nicely explained to me that in past they all gotten along on the committee.

I know this is going to come as a shock to you, but I am notoriously bad at getting along.  I know, shocking.  And if you think a FBI agent or a librarian list “gets along” at the top of their resume, then you’ve never tried to rob a bank or write in a library book and you need to get out more often.

So, all I’m telling you is to keep your eyes open for voter fraud among Republicans because they wouldn’t be upset about it if they weren’t doing it.

And that’s the damn truth.