Toys For You!
Okay, so I decided to give you all a little Christmas present of something you probably haven’t heard on the news yet.
There is a new conspiracy theory you need to keep your eye on because it’s gonna get funnier and funnier.
So, Mike Flynn held a big ole convention in Dallas at First Baptist Church a few weeks ago and, needless to say, some people got sick, real sick. But, it wasn’t Covid.
The story starts here:
I have been following this saga for days. Basically, the guys behind the ‘election fraud audits’ are all sick after attending Michael Flynn and Clay Clark’s big QAnon conference, and they believe that anthrax was pumped in through the churches’ fog machines to poison them. pic.twitter.com/C8yL7mdRZ8
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) December 22, 2021
Not Covid. Absolutely not Covid. It appears to be tin foil hat syndrome. You know, how you feel just awful after wearing a tin foil hat all day.
And the symptoms are:
Yep, look it up in any medical book and it’ll tell you that Anthrax pumped through a church’s fog machine will cause those exact symptoms. I know this because I did my own research. I also have a degree in interplanetary sarcasm.
In case you were wondering First Baptist Church in Dallas has a fog machine (actually smoke) to work with their mirrors.
On the other hand, the FDA says …
You can also overdose on ivermectin, which can cause nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, hypotension (low blood pressure), allergic reactions (itching and hives), dizziness, ataxia (problems with balance), seizures, coma and even death.
Humm … pretty much sounds like what these guys have.
Thank you, Ms. JJ for a much appreciated laugh!
We came dashing through the snow
On a cup of coffee day
Expecting the Friday toons on Thursday.
The one unfunny note in the Flim Flam Flynn and Co. fiasco is not one of those involved expressed one iota of concern toward the others they may have infected or the hospital personnel the unvaccinated maskholes are once again straining to the max. Why Qcumber conservative continue to follow these ‘leaders’ is right up there with voting against their own interests.
1“2 solid days of haculicinations” – friends of mine from the informal pharmaceutical industry tell me that it costs good money to achieve that. Plus, I can see spelling it “haloosunashuns”, but even a fourth-grader would suspect his version has way too many syllables to be plausible. And Mr. Pulitzer has no excuse for the lack of punctuation – he did manage to plant a period at the end, so that key is not missing from his keyboard.
What is really puzzling: how does he know that “zombie symptoms would be easier”? It is not a good idea to compare this terrible attack by Antifa Anthrax Assault Army with an imaginary malady. But let’s help him out, and tell him that the only cure for anthrax is to eat the little bag of innards that comes with a turkey, uncooked. Cooking the liver and gizzards destroys their vital anti-anthrax properties.
2Or maybe that drinking a good concentrated slurry of lye will put a stop to all those
symptoms.
Yep. Wicked case of Tinfoil Hat Syndrome. Definitely not COVID.
3Sorry to double post, but I just found where I’d seen the “Pulitzer least likely to win a Pulitzer Prize” guy’s name:
https://www.theverge.com/2020/12/31/22208033/jovan-pulitzer-cuecat-georgia-election-fraud-flimflam
It’s hard to land on the list of The Top 50 Worst Inventions of all time. Consider that the competition includes mustard gas, leisure suits, and the Republican Party. But he’s there. Everyone in computer tech fields remembers the CueCat, and everyone is powerless to resist rolling their eyes when it comes up.
4The anthrax fog machine at the First Baptist Church?
The Lord certainly does work in mysterious ways.
5Surly, I dimly remember the CueCat.
The MAGAots have all been rolling in this anthrax CT lately, anything to avoid ‘that which will not be believed’, CroakVIDing.
Good ol’ CueCat Jeffry was so embarrassed that he changed his name from Jeffry Jovan Philyaw to Jovan Hutton Pulitzer.
His company did manage to raise $185M clams from investors, so grifting runs deep in these MAGAots.
Radio Shack was a big investor and at it’s peak.
The CueCat lasted less than two years and Radio Shack’s long decline began then. It was also a massive computer security risk and early data miner.
I actually think that the concept was a very good idea, but the tech of the day couldn’t implement it well.
The CueCat concept itself is actually nearly identical to that of today’s ubiquitous QR Codes. QR Codes actually [1994] preceded CueCat, so you have to wonder if some of Jeffy’s patents weren’t poached..
I tend not to trust QR Codes either, but paranoia runs deep… http://www.eff.org .
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QR_code
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CueCat
“The CueCat patents are held by Jeffry Jovan Philyaw,[7] who changed his name to Jovan Hutton Pulitzer after the failure of CueCat.[8][9]…
6“
Does anyone have video of a Sunday service where the pastor runs in through the smoke while an announcer intones, “Let’s get ready to rumble!” and the choir ladies shake their pom poms? No? Then why in the name of Van Lingle Mungo does a church need a smoke machine?
7Buttermilk Sky @7 have attended a few Catholic and high Episcopalian weddings where the priest and a gaggle of acolytes do a procession from the back of the church to the altar swinging some serious smoky and obnoxious incense burners.
8But announcers, neon lights, circus tents, snakes etc.? Seems to be a southern Baptist or Evanbangterrorist thang.
Buttermilk Sky, maybe it’s the visual effects version of fire and brimstone. You know, for when Satan makes an appearance telling how much he likes Democrats, and their socialists programs helping the greedy moochers who want something outrageous like a living wage and health care.
9Probably works like a charm.
But the poor schmuck who has to wear the red suit and hold a pitchfork is probably getting tired of being pelted with hymnals.
I don’t know, maybe they make ’em in paperback now.
Cause back in the day, those damn things were hard and heavy.
Hey, this is easy to diagnose:
The first angel went and poured out his bowl on the land, and ugly and painful sores broke out on the people who had the mark of the beast and worshiped his image.
The second angel poured out his bowl on the sea, and it turned into blood like that of a dead man, and every living thing in the sea died.
The third angel poured out his bowl on the rivers and springs of water, and they became blood. Revelation 16:2-4
And there are four angels yet to pour. This is gonna be good.
10For P.P. your reference of being pelted with hymnals reminds me
of a real-life occasion from the Revolutionary War which occurred near Springfield, New Jersey in 1780:
http://www.thefactspaper.com/liberatingletters/2019/give-em-watts-boys.html
11I just had a flashback of when my son didn’t want to go to school and face a test he wasn’t ready for!
12So, these folks paid good money to listen to speakers verbalizing various hallucinations – and now they’re worried that they are now hallucinating?
If they want the hallucinations to stop, simply leave the event.
13Yep, Jane & PKM, we’re high church and have a “smoke machine”, but it’s a nerf-ball sized brass ‘purse on a chain’ the thurifer swings on high holy days (we’ll have a smokey Christmas Eve around midnight). My fave is when he/she does a Queen Anne swing, which is a Figure 8 around to the left and right. Only once did the hot coal land in someone’s lap, I’m told, but that story may be apocryphal.
In any case, I can’t imagine an actual smoke machine…nor how it could spread anthrax….I thought that comes as a powder?
And Merry Christmas/Happy Kwanza/Good Yule to everyone at the WMDBS!!
14The Surly Professor @ 2,
Oh hell, just bring out that Jim Jones’ special Kool-Aid for their very last communion.
15Slipstream, you need to post that on his Twitter page. That is perfect!
16It’s so easy to get the Qnuts that would attend a flynn flam event to believe anything. This Pulitzer character is pretty impressive as a flim flam man himself. If you opened the link provided by the Surly Professor and saw rudee Giuliani with his arm around him, tells you everything you need to know.
17I’m reading this while listening to Rage Against The Machine’s, “Killing In The Name Of” and cringerelishing the idea that it perfectly describes the dyspeptic dolts of the Quniverse.
18Dr. Dimmick, thanks for that. That’s a fantastic story that I don’t remember hearing before.
19No offense to anyone with an affinity for religious hymns, but the good Rev. Caldwell found the best use possible for them.
First Baptist used to be known as a hypocritical racist white cesspool. Their reputation will never ever be that good again.
20Sounds much better if they blame other than COVID .
21Well, being on the left coast has its advantages. Not only did I get to guffaw and nearly spew my coffee after reading the original post, I got to continue cracking up at all the WMDBS patron comments. You all are the best. Happy holidays, and keep it up for the new year!
22Clear evidence that these nit wits cannot even conceive that they may have been mistaken, they would rather build an incredibly complex and convoluted conspiracy theory, that denies, facts, evidence, science and reality in order to not admit, (even to themselves) that they re wrong. This explains why they still support Trump.
23Not just for weddings, basic part of a traditional mass:
24https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Introit