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The Republican men and women of the Texas Lege believe that elected officials officials in Texas are in more danger than you and me.

AUSTIN (AP) – Texas senators have voted to allow legislators and statewide elected officials who are concealed handgun license holders to carry their weapons into places the rest of the public is not.

The bill by Sen. Dan Patrick, a Houston Republican, would let lawmakers carry their concealed handguns into bars, churches, sporting events and businesses.

“I have seen some of the crap that elected officials have done and they might be right,” Juanita says.  “But I’m pondering on why they get to carry guns in church, honky tonks, and Palais Royale where I might be shoppin’.”

“I do not know about you, but I wouldn’t trust Leo Berman with a handun when he’s cold stone sober, and I sure the hell don’t trust him with one when he’s drunk or all raptured-up speaking in tongues over the East Texas Piney Woods Baptist Church of Jeeeesus Christ and the Holy Ghost,” she grimaces.  “He’s liable to shoot the Jesus statue on the cross for lookin’ crosswise at him.  For Pete’s sake, Leo sees things that aren’t there and you’re gonna give him a gun?”

“Honey, I think that as a whole, elected officials in Texas are an organized criminal enterprise all their own and I don’t think arming them is a good idea,” she suspects.

“I just wanna add one thing,” she says, “more abortions doctors have been killed than Texas elected officials.  And that ain’t comin’ from our side of the aisle, buddy.”

“So Ole Dan Patrick better try to grow a bigger winkie instead of feeling the need to tote a handgun everydamnwhere he goes,”  she suggests.

“You know he’s just one chubby white boy comment from going postal anyway.  I’ve see that man legislate powerfully sloppy.  I sure the hell don’t want to see him shoot.”