Political Jesus Frontman Pat Robertson has made an announcement:

Old Doofus was talking about the virtues of beating children until they love Jesus, when another shiny object caught his eye and he wandered off …

“And while we’re on the subject of beating,” Robertson continued shamelessly, “I was thinking that that might not be such a bad punishment for married women who are thinking about voting for Hillary Clinton in November’s election. But, then again, it’s probably a little harsh to beat on your wife just because she has no idea who it is God wants to be president. Okay, here’s a compromise: non-Christian wives should get a beating from their husbands, and Christian wives should have their husbands boycott intercourse until they change their mind. How’s that?”

A sigh of relief was heard all over the country from women looking over at Jim Bob sitting on the couch in his underwear swaddled in potato chip droppings and belching beer fumes, with that look in his eye that says, “Let’s get frisky during halftime, Woman.”

Thanks to Pat Robertson, Woman is gonna go get herself a damn nap and some peace.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

UPDATE:  I got snookered!  This was a satire site.  I apologize for being a doofus, too.