They Are Just Ta-Tas. Get Over It.
It is probably pretty boring in Ohio and I say that because they have to make their own fun.
Patrick Johnson is the head anti-choice guy in Ohio and he, of course, is just all a’tither about boobs. His church has been protesting at a topless bar for years. One Sunday, just for the helluva it, the topless dancers returned the favor and protested his church, topless.
Was he upset? Is a frog waterproof?
He wants to stop all this public nudity. In Ohio. To me, and I only speak for myself here and not the entire staff of the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. because some of them disagree with me, the problem in Ohio is that there is not near enough public nudity. Verdelia disagrees. “It would take more than a few nakkid hooters to get me to vacation in Ohio,” she says.
Patrick Johnson wants to outlaw nakedness in Ohio. You have no idea the problems naked is causing in Ohio. But, Patrick is more than willing to tell you …
“The gay pride parade in Columbus is 500,000 strong – why? Because the women go topless,” he insisted on Facebook. “This is the only one where I’ve seen this level of nudity. San Francisco, Chicago, Washington, D.C. I have never seen the kind of public lewdness I have seen in Columbus, Ohio.”
Okay, just a thought here. He does understand, doesn’t he, what gay means, right?
Just a second thought here. How many Pride parades did he have to attend to come up with this scientific measurement of cross country lewdness? Buck Pochek over at The Good Folks at Buck Pochek’s Rural Entertainment Promoters and General Purpose Feed Store, says he’d like to apply for that job when nakkid season opens again. He wants to publish “Naked: The Coloring Book.” That’s a best seller, for sure.
But, Patrick ain’t finished yet. Outrage is an aphrodisiac in rightwing nut land and sometimes it takes an extra dose or two to get the juices flowing, so Patrick keeps on raging on.
“I am sick that women can legally bare their breasts to children and to married men against their will in Ohio,” he says.
Patrick, they are just ta-ta. See, I’m sick that preacher men can bare their nakkid hypocrisy and really, really bad hairdos in stinkin’ public.
Thanks to Brian for the heads up.
Yes, from the photo one can tell that Patrick Johnson is a fellow who is just SICK of legally bared breasts. The self-righteous Christian disgust is written all over his face.
1We used to call ninnies like this “Prudes”. What did Jezus say about motes in eyes?
2just about all of our troubles can be traced back to some religious zealot railing against some naturally-occurring event that didn’t bother everybody else in the slightest.
JJ
I do so love yew.
3OK, I shouldn’t judge by one picture but, Holy Cow, does that gut look like the cat that ate the canary or what?
First, he seems sweaty. Second, he’s got Michele Bachmann Crazzzy Eyes. Third, that smirk says “I’m keeping all kinds of dirty secrets in my twisted little mind.”
And he looks like a blond Ted Cruz. Also. Too.
Brrrrr…. he gives me the shivers……
4I wonder if he is documenting his grievance by collecting photos of the nude strippers.
Just wondering.
5And now you know why they’re called “boobs”.
Not the breasts, the weirdos.
JJ said: “How many Pride parades did he have to attend to come up with this scientific measurement of cross country lewdness?”
He said: “…San Francisco, Chicago, Washington, D.C. I have never seen the kind of public lewdness I have seen in Columbus, Ohio.”
Well, at least four! (And BTW, he must have been really wasted at SF, Chi and DC., because it’s booby heaven there, too! If you’re paying attention to that sort of thing and not cruising for guys! Oh my, did I say that?)
6Did this make sense when he said it, I wonder?
I would like to meet these poor married guys who have been subjected to bare breasts against their will.
7One of the few blessings of living in Columbus, besides it being an oasis of Ohio progressivism, well, because of that, I guess, is the free-range ta-tas. But it’s not like you can turn any corner and be titsaulted. Most every day, they’re kept penned up – depressingly so, for a confirmed boobophile – and are only let out for special occasions like Comfest or the Doo-adah Parade. Soooo…..
I hate this guy.
8When boobs are outlawed, only outlaws will have boobs.
9My Gaydar just completely melted down after seeing that photo!
10I happened to pull up next to (and was surrounded by) an enthusiastic nude bicycle rally at the end of the university spring semester in Bellingham, Washington. Much more than boobs (male and female) was on display. The students were quite chatty as we waited at the traffic light, and I wondered with amusement how the biking guy ahead of them…completely dressed in approved shiny skintight bicycling garb…reacted as they surrounded and passed him.
11Well, I have lots of heterosexual men friends. And I’ve never heard a single one of them complain about women showing too much boobage. Not ever. Doesn’t matter the kind of boob. Straight men are boob crazy.
But then I’ve never had my gay male friends complain about public boobs either. Mostly if they notice them at all they just want them to move out of the way of that hot guy in the speedo behind them.
So this guy is something else. And you just know that some day, not sure when, but some day he is going to be in the news for doing something really perverse with little kids underpants or something.
12In the name of sacrificial leadership I hereby volunteer myownself to recon these dens of inequitable boobage and report back to interested parties here at the beauty shop. A couple of months should be sufficient time to gather evidence. Send me!!
13With all the horrors going on right now, in Ferguson, Iraq, Syria, Liberia, Sierra Leone, from mass murder to beheadings to ebola pandemic, THIS is what upsets him? Good God, get your priorities straight, man and STFU.
14By the way, turn about is fair play with the topless church protest. Wish I could have seen the faces of those XXXtians when confronted with what God hath wrought.
Boobs don’t flash people, people flash people. But that’s the good news.
15Micr — you’ll prolly need backup and support in you mission. I can do that.
16You can have nekkid women’s breasts when you pry them from my cold, dead fingers. I saw ’em first.
17Today wins a prize for the most funny collection of comments.
18Patrick and Elizabeth Johnston reside in central Ohio with their 9 home-schooled children. Now if that isn’t a CULT then I don’t know what is.
19Know why most people don’t like nudity? Its because they hate themselves, which is a basic definition of Xtian! They hate themselves and what they and others look like nude. Its not so much that they dislike the slim well put together young ones, but themselves and the older ones that, well, aren’t all the put together. I am one of the older not too pretty types but I have an advantage…I don’t care. Nudity is no big deal and there are only 3 reasons I don’t go nude a lot….
201-it’s mostly illegal in the buyBull jockstrap.
2-It gets too cold (frostbite in the lower regions)or too sunny (UV cancer)
3-Most importantly….NO Damn Pockets!!!!!!
Boys, boys, boys, St00pid boys. My wife had a moment of jealousy on a very hot day that it was acceptable for me to to shed my shirt, while she couldn’t. Excuse me? As I reminded her we were on our own fenced property and Jane could do as she pleased.
Really. Boobs, breasts or man boobs. If it is an aesthetic thing, then old boys not only need to keep on their shirts, but wear proper restraints in their swimsuits. Let’s be fair. If we men want to impose our aesthetic standards on women, then we need to be equally acceptable to women.
21Did ya all read about the nekkid bike ride event in Missoula, MT? That ol sourpuss would have had a hissy fit!
http://www.nbcmontana.com/news/naked-bike-ride-in-missoula-draws-crowd-no-protestors/27565492
Montana, where men are men, women are women, and pretty much everybody knows the real problem would be bears in the street.
22Gosh, Patrick sure has been to a lot of pride parades. . . . .
And he still can’t seem to leave women’s breasteses (see In Living Color) alone. They seem to bother him.
Patrick is an enigma. Wrapped in a stupid burrito. And as I live in Ohio, I can assure everyone we do indeed need a whole lot more nekkidness up in this state.
23He does not look like a sane man, and I would like CPS to check out his kids. I’ll bet he believes in way more corporal punishment than is good for anyone.
Now naked motorcycle riders would make me shudder because…EMS and rural clinic history. I’ve seen what coming off a cycle without protective garments (seriously protective garments) does to people. The young woman who slid front first along a county road (we were picking bits of asphalt and gravel out of the bloody mess the road made of her boobs–blouse and bra had both been scraped off by the road before it started on her skin); the guy who was biking shirtless until he blew a curve and went chest first through a barb-wire fence. I don’t care about seeing skin when it’s in a safe place (I don’t always like it but then not everyone likes the colors I wear, either) but bare skin out on the road is asking for removal-by-road-surface. Bikers in shorts, crazy stupid idiots, I mutter. Likewise those T-shirts. Likewise shirtless. Put your damn leathers on and spend your time watching traffic and road hazards. It’s not about morality, it’s about the frailty of human skin and flesh.
24JJ, I have to agree with you that Mr. Patrick Johnson has done an impressive and extensive amount of research on this subject. Why, it even makes me wonder how many photos he had to compile on his hard drive, in order to make such an accurate comparison between Gay Pride parades in so many cities. No doubt he’s even looked into the parades of a lot more than the four cities he’s mentioned, videos from start to finish.
It’s all for research, I’m sure he’d tell us. Accurate, detailed multi-terrabyte levels of research.
25@Henry: A new bumper snicker! Well done young man.
@W. C. Peterson: Right you are. We should have a fire team.
26Great to see you and Don at that Wendy Davis event today. I heard from a Facebook friend, who happens to be one of Pink Floyd’s long time back up singers, Durga McBroom, that there is now a movement for women to post camel-toe photos to support cervical cancer awareness. I am afraid if I forward one of those this guy will send me a computer virus or put me on some list. I hope his is not winning. As Justice Potter Stewart said about the one time standard for Judging pornography “I know it when I see it”. I think as lawyer I may have to revert to that old standard and tell this Ohio prude that I have not finished my analysis. I will need to see more topless women before I can decide if I too am offended. I will let this prude know when my multi-year study is complete.
27If that pic doesn’t ping your gaydar , I’m not sure what would? You know he is going to hit the news one day for molesting a child. If he has 9 kids…………..well…..he’s certainly more interested in something other than boobs. I’ll just wait for his impending arrest one day. He is beyond creepy.
28Lordy, he is the reincarnation of Mrs. Hatchet (even if she was fictional but she was based on somebody real) in her overly tight corset, bouncing bustle, fishnet gloves and a collar so high and tight all she could do was look straight ahead as she ranted against children playing in the public park on the Sabbath.
29My only objection to the boob-waving is that it seems inequitable. Fine for straight men and gay women, but how about some visual reward for the rest of us?
http://www.gocomics.com/diamondlil#.U_ldyCiRl0c
One of the reasons I watch football is for the guys in tight pants bending over. Not the tackles, but the receivers….
30So women shouldn’t bare their breasts to children? Did he ever hear of this thing called “nursing?”
Probably he was raised by wolves.
31I’m pretty much an expert on gay pride parades. Been to ’em, in ’em, grandmarshalled ’em.
This man is living in fantasy land. First, there has never been a parade in Ohio with half a million peeps attending.
And in all of my parading around, I haven’t seen but a hand full of exposed boobs. (pun not intended). Now, I’m not going to admit to how many dudes in gstrings and jocks I’ve witnessed. He needs to go to more parades to get his research straignt.
32Sunday, August 24, is Topless Day in Asheville, and just like every year, there will be some newly liberated topless women and A WHOLE LOTTA DIRTY OLD GUYS gawking. Most of us stay the hell away from that side of downtown, because the men are just too freaking creepy.
33Assuming that this ‘man’ was born (not assembled in a factory), I’m guessing that his mother bottle fed him.
34Marv is onto something. My straight-dar says old Patrick is due to come tumbling out of the closet. Man who does not enjoy breasts? That’s just odd.
35An Irish marriage equality PSA: http://aattp.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Screen-Shot-2014-08-21-at-11.43.57-AM-300×156.png
So true!
36Nice catch, PKM!
37Huh. This ain’t nuthin. In 1802 Tsar somebody or other relocated a bunch of religious ah, groups in Russia after being told by the Russian government, “you don’t like us, pay your own way to go to Canada and DON’T COME BACK” . Part of the Doukhobors, several thousand of them, in the 1900s walked nekkid, setting fires as they went, across Canada to protest being picked on by the official Church of Canada. You really oughta read about them. It’s better than a novel.
38Looking at this guy’s semi-demented expression, I’m wondering if he’s a secret cross dresser and wearing women’s underwear himself. Something not right in that dude’s head …
39If a married guy doesn’t want to see bare breasts, he should avert his eyes. It’s not really very difficult, unless you’re just a tad pervy.
40Marge Wood, I remember during the Canadian days of my childhood being shielded from photographs of the Doukhobors who had dropped their duds as they watched something burn down. What was shielded at home was available at the town library! Canadian government did something about them but I don’t remember what. Most of the Doukhobors were way out in western Canada. How they got there is still a mystery to me!
41Now, remember, every time Rep. Gohmert opens his mouth a boob is exposed!
42