The Zenith of Cruelty
There are moments when I simply have to put a story down and come back to it at another time. It seems in the estimation of our illustrious governor that I and my colleagues are regularly committing crimes against humanity. At least that was the implication of his latest letter.
I have to suspend disbelief for a moment and dedicate mental bandwidth to something that doesn’t deserve it. Essentially, the thought process is that children do not have the mental capacity to determine that they want to become a boy or girl. Therefore, a parent has to consent to any procedures that they may have.
If we further suspend disbelief we would have to come out and say what all of this means. It means that being transgender is a crime. So, what the governor expects us to do is to call Child Protective Services and tell them about the transgender students in our school.
This includes students that have nearly completed their transition and students in the beginning of the transitioning process. It assumes a world view where kids (or parents) wake up one day and just think, “I’d like to be a girl today.” Maybe dad was tired of watching John come in seventh at his track meet every week, so we’ll make John Jennifer and she will win the blue ribbons we’ve been expecting.
It ignores the truth about the transgender experience. It trivializes the transgender experience. I wouldn’t even begin to speak for anyone on this regard, but I can’t imagine it would be easy. It certainly isn’t something you dream up on a Tuesday and then go have the surgery on Thursday. It’s a difficult and painful process.
You spend more than ten years developing an identity of your child in your own mind and experience. You see them as a boy or girl. That identity comes with certain assumed experiences and they tell you they don’t see themselves the way you see them. It ignores the grief that must come when a parent comes to grips with the fact that their child needs to go through this transition to be happy. Your conception of them must die and rise up out of the ashes as something different.
So, what the governor and his cronies want us to do is to tell a government agency that what they’ve just done is a crime. We are supposed to report that student because their parents obviously don’t know what’s best for their child. We are calling another human being a crime. In case that didn’t sink in, it needs to be repeated. We are calling another human being a crime.
I hope I don’t have to spell this out, but I’m not doing that. Even if I for one second believed that being transgender was wrong or even somehow a sin against God, I wouldn’t dream of telling a kid that. Doing so would be absolutely cruel and would be antithetical to everything we should be about as human beings.
Of course, when we stop suspending disbelief we start to understand what this is really about. It’s about scoring cheap political points with a base that doesn’t need it. They don’t need their ego massaged. They don’t need to feel better about their bigotry. These kids deserve the love, respect, and kindness that Abbott is showing to his base. I’m sorry that they feel uncomfortable with the idea of transgender people. I don’t say this lightly, but they can go to hell if they think I’m about rat out a transgender kid just to make them feel better.
Nick, most of us admit we don’t know all the complexities of the issues and medical needs of the transgender community. However, unlike Greg A-butt we have the sense not to play doctors without licenses. When children are involved it’s child/parent/doctor only, no governors or Qcumber conservative politicians need apply. If a parent is intransigent, then perhaps a matter for a court with a child advocate to assist the child patient and doctor.
Interject the schools into a personal medical issue? Lordy. Do we need laws to protect teacher/student confidentiality from the likes of A-butt and Qcumber conservatives?
1Anyone that has children has to feel some level of empathy for the parents involved in these cases. Everything else we go through is so trivial in comparison. I cannot see this ending well if Abbott wants to take this beyond the ceremonial “I’m a religious nut” phase. I steadfastly refuse to do this. I’m sure he knows this. I’m sure he knows this is beyond the pale.
What has always upset me about Abbott is that he isn’t really a true believer. He benefitted from tort before ramming through tort reform. He placated the idiots that flipped out over Jade Helm. He’s playing up border security and wall construction. He’s outwardly spouting the bullshit on green energy and then quietly profiting in the background. This jackass doesn’t believe a word of it. Instead of showing an ounce of courage, an ounce of compassion, an ounce of human decency he crumbles and caves like a craven coward. Maybe he should be neutered for his own protection.
2As the mother of a trans son, I have just one little correction for you here. Saying “…they want to become a boy or girl….” It isn’t a matter of wanting to become anything. It is a matter of externally they look like one sex and internally they know they are not. If I am sounding picky on language here, we’ve been dealing with misunderstandings for many years, and I can’t help reacting. No offense meant. You’re absolutely right in what you are saying about this ugly mess in Texas.
3AK Lynne, thank you! Every word you type that improves our understanding is appreciated. Those of us who support the LGBTQI community need all the information available to become better allies.
4AK Lynne,
You are absolutely right and I apologize for the sloppy phrasing and any misunderstanding it led to. I couldn’t dream of purposely trying to hurt any child and that is what this situation seems to call for from the governor’s perspective. I think all of us need to grow and I can only say I hope to grow in a positive way with every student I encounter.
5I know two transgender adults well enough to talk about their journey with them. It was compelling and the correct decision. I know one child who is transitioning and can say she has really relaxed because she is finally who she has been in her mind. Her parents support her, but worry, like any parent might, about people like Abbott and his supporters. I’m ready for the party of personal responsibility and small government to go away. If you’re in Texas, remember to vote in the primary!
6Nick@2 – I agree with your assessment of Greg Abutt. He is willing to do anything to get re-elected. When the Republican winds veered toward the hateful and lunatic, off he went. My husband and I have commented many times that he enacted laws to prevent people from getting the benefits he got when he became injured and disabled. How hateful can you get? Well, we have seen that there is plenty more hate to be spread around. Now going after children on a subject he knows nothing about; just spewing the latest Republican rhetoric to placate Trump and his hate-filled lunatic followers, because he thinks that’s the way to stay in office. Every time I hear these people yap about their conservative values and their Christian values I want to vomit.
7Grandma Ada, if your friends with the trans child need additional support, here is a link that families are using for just that. https://transfamilies.org/
8Maybe we need to read “Irreversible Damage” by Shrier.
9Might add some balance and nuance to the discussion.
Ormond @9, that’s a book best left to you and Ben Shapiro. Shrier conflates many issues with her concern trolling.
10I just want to say thank you Nick and all who stands up to protect these children. Seriously, thanks.
11several years ago PBS did a program on the experiences in utero. They discussed the chemical changes that the fetus goes through and one of those included different phases of estrogen and testosterone and how the fetus could end up with the exterior of one gender but the interior of the other. It’s biology folks! Should we criminalize kids with blue eyes? Would be the same. The ignorance and vileness of people who choose to react as the Texas governor did deserve a special place in hell.
12You want nuance Ormond?
I’ve called CPS twice in my career. Both times were gut wrenching experiences. In both circumstances the student reported the abuse and in both instances it was still painful to do because it was questionable as to whether reporting was in the best interest of the student. However, we are bound by law to report abuse when it is reported to us. What actually gets done is beyond our pay grade.
What I enjoy about the conservative argument on things is how in the abstract they think the government should stay out of our private business. That’s actually an outlook I can jive with. The problem is it only works as long as people do what conservatives think is best. I have no doubt that some people may go through the process that shouldn’t. However, I have never heard of a case where it wasn’t a decision made by the child in conjunction with their parents and doctor.
However, let’s assume for the sake of argument that situations can occur when someone may make a transition and regret that decision. How does their situation improve when I rat out EVERYONE THAT HAS GONE THROUGH A TRANSITION? I can’t tell you how often that happens. I can’t tell you the exact process that happens. I can only tell you that I’ve seen several children that have gone through it. I can only tell you that the ones I have worked with seem happier on the other side. I can also tell you that they aren’t quite content. You can tell a part of them is worried. They are worried because they know that you know who they were before.
Reporting them doesn’t help that. Reporting them only feeds that terror that someone is going to out them or persecute them for who they are. I don’t know if any individual kid is better off or not. That’s kind of the whole point. The state is asking me to insert myself into a situation I have no training in or expertise in. I have a counseling degree and I still am unqualified to adequately address these students’ needs. Whether I agree or disagree with their decision to go through with this is immaterial. Our humanity and our basic human decency demands we offer them acceptance and positive regard. Anything less would be a perversion of our mandate, however limited it may be.
13Being a Rethuglican would be absolutely cruel and antithetical to everything we should be about as human beings.
14Kill the messenger, as always. I detest Shapiro. Cheap shot.
I’ve both called CPS and dealt with them continuously during care of a MARC home.
I find the automaton attacks despicable, Jane and PKM.
Woke is easier than the hard job of thinking.
Nick, your waffling and diversions into bathos are bewildering. So what’s new?
15Perhaps you’d like to speak more plainly so we can all play along. I’m not sure where I waffled or bewildered. My point is unchanged. I’m not turning these kids in. Whether they made the right call or not on their transition is not my call. It’s not the governor’s call. It’s not child protective service’s call. It is between that person, their parents, and their doctor. Addressing the subject of the book is fine. If the idea is that a non-zero number of those that transitioned regret their decision then I’m not going to contest that. I haven’t read the book but see reviews are very mixed. Even if it’s on the money it doesn’t change my stance any.
16https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/gender-dysphoria/care-at-mayo-clinic/mac-20475281
“I haven’t read the book but see reviews are very mixed. Even if it’s on the money it doesn’t change my stance any.”
A very common attitude. Don’t confuse me with the facts, my mind’s made up
17lol Ormand, you said it, we didn’t: “I haven’t read the book but see reviews are very mixed. Even if it’s on the money it doesn’t change my stance any.” But that’s ok, your confession is nearly as good as an apology.
18It’s okay Jane and PKM, Ormond is not going to get it. The argument was never about whether gender reassignment was a good or bad thing. That’s what that book is about. You can’t confuse with facts that are irrelevant to the conversation. The conversation IS ABOUT WHETHER ANY OF THAT IS ANY OF MY DAMN BUSINESS. It is not so therefore the book and it’s point are irrelevant. Whether gender reassignment is good, bad, or neither is definitely relevant for doctors that might perform or recommend the procedure. It’s relevant to those considering the procedure or their parents if they are under the age of 18. I don’t fit into any of those and 99 percent of teachers also do not. So the book might or might not add to that particular discussion. It doesn’t matter because it’s just not relevant. I’ll say it a third and fourth time in case it’s not clear.
19Nick, we totally agree with the point(s) you are making. Good on you and all the faculty who refuse to play doctors without licenses while wearing full blown snitch capes to harm the children. More good news is that some Texas DAs are refusing as well.
As for the book, there are people here at the WMDBS who have direct friends and family knowledge of the issues and can better explain why the book is concern trolling at its worst. The book is short on science and shorter on facts. Very much similar to the “pray away the gay” malarkey and dogma camps to ‘educate’ the gay out of kids. In a word: harmful.
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