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Turns out that there’s a guy out in Utah who resigned his state house seat.  Why?

“Well, he’s a Republican male, so go ahead …. guess,” Juanita grins.  “You know it’s going to be about hanky-panky, but the only question left is – how high on the kinky scale will it be?”

We’d give this one a 7.

Utah House Majority Leader Kevin Garn announced he was resigning Saturday two days after telling his House colleagues that he had spent an evening nude hot-tubbing with a 15-year old girl back in 1985.

And then in 2003, he gave her $150,000 to keep silent about it. And, come to find out, it wasn’t just one time.  And this is a shocker – there was hoochy koochy involved.

“I did the math,” Juanita announces with her jewel studded solar pocket calculator still hot in her hand, “and it turns out that this was the same exact time that Tom DeLay was in the Texas House pond scumming every hot tub in Austin while keeping his cocktail cold and his Bible dry.”

“I ain’t saying that’s where Kevin Garn learned the privileges of office, subsection hot tubs and babes.  But odds are that he figured that if Tom can do it, any other short chubby balding Republican male can,” Juanita says.  “Yikes, take a gander, either this guy did not age well or the poor girl worked cheap for only $150,000.”

“Now, I guess you can call the Utah House a lost cause because when the unHonorable Mr. Garn resigned over making sparks with an under-aged girl in a hot tub, they gave him a standing ovation,” Juanita shakes her head.  “And they explained that odd maneuver by saying that it was ‘tradition.'”

“Dumb, dorky me,” she ends.  “I thought that was only tradition in Texas.”

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