If you ever needed proven scientific evidence that goofy is contagious, you can nominate Juanita for the Nobel Prize in Figuring Stuff Out because she’s got it.

We have a three way race in the Republican primary for District Attorney of Fort Bend County.  That’s mainly because the current DA has about as much flash as a dead battery and all the courtroom skills of Hamilton Burger

One of his opponents, Richard D. Raymond, was groomed by our goofy sheriff, Milton Wright.  And, Baby, it shows.

As I told you in another incarnation, Richard D. Raymond is asking voters to do something that he’s never done before in his whole life: vote in a non-Presidential primary.

So when he says he’s a “proven conservative,” he must have proven it on a NARCAR track because he sure hasn’t proven it at the voting booth.

Somebody dropped off some Richard D Raymond for DA pushcards at the beauty salon.  We’re saving those suckers because they are printed on such heavy shiny paper that you could use them to scrape paint.

I parked the big copies of these over yonder for your entertainment.

“Now I know this guy has zero experience in criminal law,” Juanita starts, “but it appears that he has no idea what a DA does for a living.  He seems to think he’s running for United States Senate or President.  It’s gonna come as great shock to him if he wins that he doesn’t get to change existing law according to his whim.”

Right there on the front of his pushcard, it says, “Pro-Family, Pro-Life Conservative Leadership.”  “What the hell is that?” Juanita wonders, “He is not going to follow current law?  Is that what he’s saying?  What the heck does a small town District Attorney have to do with abortion?  Is he gonna collect all the coathangers or something?”

“Then on the back, he proclaims, “Pro-Life, Pro-Family, Pro-Second Amendment leader who supports secure borders,” she says with amazement.  “Secure borders with whom?  Montgomery County?  Harris County?  Okay, so maybe I could support that Harris County thing.”

“Unless he’s making a campaign promise to take his 2^nd Amendment deer rifle down to the valley on the weekends and walked back and forth between Brownsville and Progresso looking real mean, that’s a pretty empty sounding deal,”  Juanita chuckles.  “He might want to check his On-Star, because we ain’t got a border with Mexico.”

Juanita says she has no idea what Pro-Family means, but she might be kinda leary to use the example currently in use by Mr. Raymond’s supporters at the Sheriff’s Department.  “At the sheriff’s department, they so pro-family that most of them have several. “

And maybe John Edwards did this to Juanita, but the more a man talks about being pro-family and “a loving husband,” the more she wonders when the paternity suit is coming.  Raymond has it three times on one brochure.

Under his “Integrity” claims, he lists that he a long-time member” of a church, an active member of the Exchange Club, and then he runs kinda dry.  So, he lists “men’s Bible Study” and “The Christian Children’s Fund.”  He’s just making stuff up now.

Juanita is kicking herself on the rump because Democrats didn’t run anybody for this seat.