.

“Look,” Juanita says this morning as she puts on the coffee, “she’s a cute little ole gal who never really had much of chance going in, what with her parents, small town attitudes, educational achievement, and oddly named siblings.”  Juanita is talking about Bristol Palin.

“But somebody needs to grab that girl and have a chat with her about propriety before she turns into her mother.”

It seems that Juanita has discovered that the Candies Foundation hired Bristol as their national spokeswoman on teen pregnancy prevention.  “Ain’t that kinda like making Charlie Sheen your spokesman on mental health,” Juanita asks.

The Candies Foundation paid Bristol $262,500 a year.  However —-

But a closer examination of the tax form by ThinkProgress shows that the group disbursed only $35,000 in grants to actual teen pregnancy health and counseling clinics: $25,000 to the Mt. Sinai Adolescent Health Center and $10,000 to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.

“Okay,” Juanita gets out her jeweled pocket calculator, “that means they paid her 7 times what they spent on actual teen pregnancy prevention.”

Verdelia interrupts, “That’s Sarah Palin’s America, baby!”

“To add insult to injury,” Juanita says, “the Candies Foundation spent even more money on polls to prove that Bristol Palin is oh so much cooler than Jenny McCarthy.  No, I’m serious.  They did.  And the PSA that Bristol did?  It was with The Situation.  So, we don’t know if Bristol Palin is oh so much cooler that The Situation, or if Jenny McCarthy with The Situation would out poll Bristol.  But, let’s hope they don’t spend more money on that.”