The Growing Gap
As JJ’s readers know, I was strongly opposed to Hillary Clinton’s candidacy for president. I won’t rehash the reasons because I don’t have the energy now to re-litigate the fiasco of 2016. I will say, though, that this political position cost me friendships, got me kicked out of progressive discussion groups, and pissed off long time friends and allies. What surprised me, though, in no small measure, was the vitriol that my opinion generated. I was called a misogynist and a lot worse. The anger just jumped out from the screen of my laptop and was acid in people’s voices. From strangers I kind of got it; but from friends I had known for years, I was gobsmacked at the anger and hatred.
I guess I was naive, but my opinion, based completely on simple facts and strategy I believed would win the election, was dismissed because I am a white guy. It didn’t matter that I was ultimately proved correct. It didn’t matter than many others felt the same way. What mattered in the eyes of many was that, because I’m a white male, I was automatically disqualified from deserving an opinion. Those who know me well KNOW that I’m not any of the things of which I was accused and that I often write about social justice, equality, and diversity in our society. In this particular case, though, simple genetics took away my right to free speech and free association.
Today, Frank Bruni wrote about the same subject. He spoke about how our college campuses and other organizations have become forums for the aggrieved where opinions are automatically qualified or disqualified by the sex, race, religious affiliation or social standing of the speaker. Now, before you start screaming at me, I (and Frank Bruni) certainly acknowledge the reality of racial and sexual privilege. There’s no question that it exists and is pervasive in many cultures including ours. However, that fact doesn’t automatically disqualify the opinions of those people because of those unchangeables. As Bruni put it, often people’s response is, “Speaking as an X, I am offended that you claim B.” That’s unfair, especially when you know the person speaking.
Can the “privileged” KNOW the plight of the oppressed by personal experience? Certainly not, especially without sincere effort to learn about that plight. However, does a person’s genetics, ethnic origin, education and place of residence permanently disqualify that person from deserving an opinion? Of course not, and that’s the point, isn’t it? Mutual respect of others is the key to exchanging opinions. We are endangering that exchange by this growing gap that we profess to be closing. Sometimes we have to take off the colored glasses that we all wear to actually communicate with one another. And, we have to avoid personal character assassination, especially over who we support politically, and more especially of those we know well but with whom we have a disagreement.
There are people with whom I agree on 99.9% of issues. But I no longer talk with, or associate with them because of that .1% disagreement. That’s just stupid, and doesn’t help anyone.
You lost me when you took a victory lap for Hillary Clinton’s defeat. Look at where purity politics has gotten us in this country.
1What I object to is not so much the white-male-opinion-having but the very much more common white-male-opinion-‘splaining: what their opinion is and why their opinion is more important/is more valid/makes more sense/should be taken far more seriously than any other opinion. ESPECIALLY if the ‘other opinion’ is held by a non-cis/non-white/non-male….
Everyone’s entitled to an opinion (and divergent opinions can make for interesting discussion), although NOT everyone’s entitled to a half-page, top of the fold, couple-hundred-word opinion on the NYT. (Hmm…and hmmm … how many non-male people of color are?)
2Whitesplaining?
3Steve’s ill-considered and smug retort is a perfect example of the problem expressed above; I’m a: southern born and reared white male, SEC football player, military officer, etc.
There is no way any of you people would listen to me if you knew this in advance. I didn’t support Sec.Clinton until after the convention. I still BELIEVE O’Malley, Hickenlooper [not Sanders] would have been among several options more suitable than Sec.Clinton.
Steve though is absolutely correct about one thing that the above essay addressed, ” Look at where purity politics has gotten us in this country.”; the puritans of the women’s caucus and the socialist caucus have multifurcated the party to the point some Demi-crats vote republi-con out of frustration.
4From whence does this come? After yesterday this self edification is your offering? I am not surprised you lost friends, I will not read another word with your by line. you are out of step and in an orange grove, while terrorism is the concern for today.
5With all due respect, providing the reasoning behind one’s opinions allows others to evaluate them, and can form the basis of a rational discussion with someone who happens to consider those opinions misguided (or just flat wrong). Some might even find that rational discussion to be persuasive – which can work in either direction.
6StR- whoa there, Buckaroo. I think we all have issues on which we disagree with El Jefe but I have to point out that he did not take a victory lap. He was not happy that the POS was elected POTUS. He was surprised, as was I, that after the results were in and the discussion began on what could have gone so impossibly wrong, that much like single payer health care in the health care debate, no one brings up the possibility that HRC was the wrong candidate at the wrong time. I look at her accomplishments, her intelligence, her years of service and it is all great. It should outweigh decades of smear campaigns, some unfortunate Wall St paid appearances and Wasserman-Schultz primary hanky panky at the DNC, but it didn’t. Right up until her nomination acceptance speech I felt doomed because I’ve seen how much people hate her. Vince Foster has become a punchline to illustrate what people think she is capable of. After her moving speech, I thought there was a reasonable chance given her opponent. But people stayed home. Think about this. Hillary Clinton or an obnoxious, racist, asshole, dumpster fire as president and people did not trust HRC enough to get off their asses and vote.
Popular vote total:
Trump: 62,958,211
Clinton: 65,818,318
Clinton: + 2.8 million
Popular vote total outside California:
Trump: 58,474,401
Clinton: 57,064,530
Trump: + 1.4 million
May we start the discussion now about why such an outstanding individual was such a bad choice for the Presidential candidate in 2016?
7There are some opinions one shouldn’t have to listen to. Like the ones held by white supremacists. I’m sorry that those white boys in their polo shirts and Tiki torches feel aggrieved but, so what? They came to intimidate and harass their fellow citizens. They held an illegal march at UVA on Friday and attacked students and others who were trying to defend their school–a school at which this sorry group had to permission to be in the first damn place.
I’ll start listening to those fools when they acknowledge the reality of the majority who are not white and male.
8That’s “had NO permission”.
9Point of logic: You were not “PROVED right”.
Otherwise, a quite interesting post.
10Jefe, I’ll listen to anybody if they’re calm, rational, and can back up what they say, and I’ll try to be likewise. Sometimes I’m having a bad day or I’ve just heard the wrong thing and I’m not calm and rational, for which I should apologize later. I try to understand where anti-abortionists are coming from, but if they’re also anti-birth-control, they’ve lost me entirely. And there is no longer any excuse for not accepting the reality of climate change and the need to do a hell of a lot to reduce it ASAP, since we’ve been all but ignoring that need for decades.
11Bigotry – Fear and Hate of anyone who does not look, think, act, or believe like you do.
Racial, political, moral, and social are just some of it’s cancerous symptoms.
I am a recovering Bigot. Thought I was a giving, caring spiritual person till I was awakened to some core issues. Bigotry is a deadly disease. All of us have some in varying degrees and amounts. It can be very open and very psychologically sneaky.
What does it take for one to look fearlessly and honestly into one’s own soul, recognize what is wrong/harmful and have the courage to fix it or ask for help?
12This is the question and IMO one of the main purposes of us humans.
I am a white female. 75 years old. I was very active in Obama’s first campaign…in other words I have been a voting Democrat all of my life.
I too did not think Hillary was the best choice for President and this is why: We spent 7 years with a Republican-majority Congress accomplishing almost nothing despite having a wonderful, intelligent President and VP (and his fantastic family). I remember watching Hillary trying in vain to get a health care plan passed when Bill was President. I did not want to see another 8 years go by without getting anything done.
Our country is about to pass the tipping point..on climate change, on helping our citizens, on helping third-world nations rise above that label.
I don’t know that Bernie could have won…but I voted for him in the primary and for Hillary in the election.
And we all need to listen to others opinions without judgement and keep all the friends we can get….we will need them. We mustn’t let the Democrats split.
13You are entitled to your opinion about Clinton. However, if you did not vote for her, you essentially voted for Agent Orange.
And thus, you would be dead to me.
14Frank Bruni writes an opinion piece.
El Jefe writes an opinion piece commenting on an opinion piece.
Some of us write our opinion on the opinion of the opinion, including, in their opinion, reasons Frank Bruni & El Jefe shouldn’t have a platform for their opinions.
Is that about right?
15OK. Read El Jefe’s stuff and the rest. Here is something to think about regarding “isms” and “discussion.” All of this is relevant and everyone experiences it, most keenly under certain conditions revealed by you all.
There is a psychological concept called the near enemy. That sounds bad right from the start, but don’t worry. Near enemy means that there are two emotions that look the same but are actually opposites. Basically one emotion parades as the other, is mistaken for the other, but one is healthy and the other one definitely not so much.
This stuff comes in threes: Attachment masquerades as Love Pity as Compassion and Indifference as Equanimity.
Pity and compassion are the easiest to understand. Compassion involves empathy. The stricken person is seen as an equal. Pity doesn’t go that route. The pityer is into superiority and sees the stricken person as a lesser being. Compassion is a noble emotion and just about everyone claims to be full of it, but they are kidding themselves. It is actually pity they are feeling. Hence Pity is the enemy of compassion. It has no room for nobler emotions.
It is easy for someone to fool themselves into thinking they are experiencing compassion.
Love and attachment are usually symbolized as mother and child images. However, this pairing also includes friendships and any intimate relationship. Love wants the best for the other. Attachment takes hostages. Love sets people free. Attachment is clinging, stifling, manipulative, crippling, the antithesis of independence. Hostages aren’t allowed to escape and when they try it often ends badly.
Next is equanimity and indifference. This is the most corrosive pairing. Equanimity is translated as balance. When we are hit with something overwhelming we can certainly feel it strongly but we also have an ability to overcome it. We have all seen people who have been through hell and survive unbelievable grief and sorrow. Deep down inside most people there is a core. That’s where the equanimity is, the ability to accept things and move on.
16@Rick
Yep.
Those of us too cheap or too technically challenged to have a “professional political organization” website to post our opinions, good, bad, and otherwise, on the postings of others opinions, also good, bad, and otherwise, and so on are fortunate to have this venue to post. I rant. I occasionally post a well-considered content. Most of the time I smart off. My little bride appreciates the hearing rest. I don’t always agree with Jefe or Juanita Jean, but I appreciate the work they do in order to commit an opinion to writing.
17Hey, I read the same post the rest of you did, so can someone–a better reader, perhaps–tell me where El Hefe said he did not vote for Hillary in the general?
I voted Bernie in the primary because I believe Hillary would have been side-lined as president far worse than Obama. Her election certainly wouldn’t have help the party get more progressives elected in 2018.
All you smug people who presume to know why Hefe thinks as he does should do a little soul searching to figure out why you’re thinking the way YOU are. It sure isn’t “for the good of the Progressive cause.”
18What a terrible horrifying event that evil event turned out to be! The young lady that was killed sounded like an estimable person, and there are others that aren’t out of the woods yet. And, for anyone who still had questions, Hair Furor made his position loud and clear. He is a disgusting cowardly buffoon. Faugh!
19Jefe, I used to go read your blog now and then. I was raised around Clear Lake and it was like a little glimpse of home. I liked it then, it was educational, and I admire(d) your passion and intellect. But you must admit, it gets you into trouble now and then! As someone who works in the personal service industry (we work in and around people’s homes) in a VERY white bread conservative town that is home to a very conservatively bent State funded university, I have learned to be very careful about my opinions. You get dumped for that liberal-s— around these parts. So, I have no bumper stickers on my truck, I use nom de plumes and old disguised emails as identifiers in places like this, and I listen a lot-the bartender that goes to people’s homes. One of the problems we face as a nation is this simmering intolerance that lurks just below the surface on any issue, and apparently we of the supposedly tolerant side are just as guilty as anyone else, just quieter about it. My kids and husband chewed on me about Bernie, my clients chewed on me about Hillary, and I just smiled and nodded at all of them (well, not my spouse; we can shout the house down and call each other names and still be friends-we’ve been at it for 30 years now) because I don’t want them to close up and be done. They DO have the right to their opinions, however stupid, misinformed, toxic or idiotic I find them, and so do you. But if I dump everyone who disagrees with me, or if I cause them to dump me, how will I find out what the others think? and how could I possibly influence them in any way in the future?
Yeah, what Liz said!
20You were ultimately proven right? In what way? Because Hillary lost? How was your hypothesis tested?
21Main article: You were proved right? Hillary won the popular vote. She won it despite voter suppression, Russian manipulation, and third party votes. You have the right to your opinion, but you should termite it by listening to people who are more interested in the situation than you. It is difficult to hear criticism but we need to listen. Vituperation is a different matter. I know because I got a lot of that from Sanders supporters. You don’t have to listen you that.
A commenter: “She was popular until the acceptance speech” She was popular until Comey reopened the email thing for some reason.
Another commenter didn’t want another 4 years of no progress. Under President Obama we made more progress than any time since LBJ at least. Incredible accomplishments in the face of intransigent opposition.
22I’m late to the party but I’m feeling that it isn’t that El Jefe is a white guy that he is often pissing people off or asked to leave the room.
23I’m a 78 year old woman and my friends and family are mostly Democrats, but a few are Republicans. I’ve been turned off by a few of the Republicans; it wasn’t so much what they said, but the way they said it. Sometimes people don’t realize they are “talking down” to people, which is insulting no matter who does it.
24. “…It didn’t matter that I was ultimately proved correct…”
I had to read that three times to be sure you really said what I thought you said.
No, Jefe. You weren’t. Hillary Rodham Clinton received three million more votes than The Donald, which means that for all your “simple facts and strategy,” she actually won the election. And if you think the Fourth Reichers in the Midwest that toppled the Electoral College would have been persuaded to vote ‘D’ if Bernie (or anyone else) had been the candidate, you’re lying to yourself. So you should stop pretending that Trump’s “presidency” in spite of the election results is remotely the same thing as you being “ultimately proved correct,” because Carnac the Magnificent you ain’t.
25My goodness ! It’s not easy to find this much confused , chaotic thinking and writing outside of the editorial page of the Dallas Morning News !
26Learned the hard way years ago being a Democrat is hard. The ones who are the most demanding of one’s credentials are progressives. Reading these comments confirms my opinion. You can support civil rights, health care for all, labor unions, women’s rights, real immigration reform and they still don’t like your brand of liberalism.
Just look at the one’s who couldn’t figure out 7/8s of a pie is better than the no pie. Wonder if Jill Stein voters really think Trump is better than Hillary? I suspect they do.
No, Hillary did not win. We still have the EC. You want to change that?
A Constitutional Convention is going to open up a can of worms and the Rs almost have enough states signed up to get one.
The Ds need to get a little more inclusive, instead of demanding blood test.
27Thread: teal deer.
Horse: dead. Bones beaten to a little mound of powder.
Response: /ignore/
28Good golly, looks like a whole boatload of self-justification to me. I’ll freely admit that I quit reading any post you wrote, El Jefe, after reading my 10th anti-Hillary article. Enough was enough. Thought I would give you another go and got as far as “even after I was proved right….” What part of 77,000 votes spread over three states when over 500,000 votes were disqualified, i.e. surpressed, in those same states, do you not comprehend? Republicans did what Republicans do. They cheat using the law to do it. Just ask Kris Kobach.
Yes, HRC would have had obstruction but no more than any other Democrat. She would have been a lightning rod for that investigations but does anybody think the Repubs would let someone with Bernie’s long tenure escape super close scrutiny? It is time to think about why Trump adopted Bernie’s same anti-Hillary “corruption” snark? It’s time we look at exactly what we can achieve in the near term such as contributing to and working on replacing Cruz and Patrick, et al and let the visits down memory lane stay in memory lane
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