The Goofball Heard ‘Round The World. Rick’s Starting a Holy War.
Y’all, it’s Rick Perry.
His brains are oozing out his ears. Or something.
During a conference call with evangelicals on Tuesday, Texas Governor Rick Perry (R) called upon “Christian warriors” and “Christian soldiers” to “stand our ground” against President Barack Obama, who he said is trying to ”remove any trace of religion from American life,” a message inspired by “Satan” himself.
Oh dear Lord, now he’s talking to the devil. Hell, even crazy old Clint Eastwood only talks to empty chairs. Rick’s got the devil on speed dial just to check on Obama status updates.
And then there’s that whole really confusing thing about Christian Mitt Romney wanting 47% of the country to wither away and die while Devil Obama wants to care for his fellow humans like, you know, that Jesus fella said to do.
Then that wacky pastor Rick Scarborough credited the governor’s spirituality with ending the Texas drought. No, no, hot damn no. Please ‘splain to me why Rick Perry let Bastrop, Texas, burned to the ground. Why didn’t he say a prayer for them? He was too busy that day.
Now he’s got the Steeple People all riled up to go to war. If they don’t get to shoot somebody for Jesus, they are gonna be real upset.
Thanks to everybody who sent me this.
My stars and garters! I knew that such people existed, theoretically at least, but I always thought they’d stay in the woodwork. Comes to that, I wish to blazes that they would.
1Rick Scarborough was pastor of First Baptist in Pearland while I lived there. He controlled the town and corruption flourished. Many there, myself included, believe his daughter’s suicide came about as a result of emotional abuse from him.
Randy Weber, who is running against Nick Lampson, was at the heart of much of the wrongdoing. There’s a special place for people like Perry and Scarborough who pervert religion.
2Well, we’re getting close to that time of year when we’ll all be hearing about the so-called War on Christmas…again. I am so sick of seeing bumper stickers (year ’round) with “Keep Christ in Christmas” on them, that I had to laugh out loud when I spotted two recently that said “Keep the Devil in Deviled Eggs.”
3I clicked over to the entire article on Raw Story, and it almost sounds like Perry is channeling Palin. He starts a sentance somewhere, he ends the sentance somewhere, but it sure doesn’t go anywhere. Like if Obama is trying to ”remove any trace of religion from American life,” I’d like to know how he’s gonna do that. Sounds like a big project for someone Republicans claim hasn’t done much in his first term.
4Holey like the holes in his head? Inquiring minds want to know!
5You’d think those shoutin’ and hollerin’ Christians would at least want Jesus to recognize them, if he ever showed up again. From what they say and do, though, I doubt he’d know they were his followers.
6Shouldn’t he be wasting taxpayer money by changing the decor at the new mansion or something? Why is he still allowed to speak in public? Doesn’t he get some kind of timeout for wearing stupid alloverhisdamself outside Texas this year?
Good grief.
7So is Rick planning on leaving government for the big money in Organized God-Bothering?
8I truly cannot stand this man.
9I hope there’s a chance we could get one of the Castro brothers (either one) to rid us of the festering boil known as Rick Perry in 2014.
10Awesome. Thanks for the laugh-I needed one. Not sure where all of this paranoia gets its traction. I’ve yet to feel any religious threat from anybody, but ironically, those “Christian Warriors” sure make me nervous.
11Sigh. We gots lots of good potential candidates for guvnor in 2014. Let’s start putting our pennies and nickels in a big jar now so we’ll be ready.
12AND FURTHERMORE. Why’s he and his buddies all so big on non-tolerance ‘cept for their own selves? Oh that’s right. They don’t look in the mirror.
13You know, at least Ol’ Ricky just lays it all out there for all to see. Our Goobernor Godbotherer Mister P. Bryant is more sneaky when he’s speaking in public, and rarely goes over the crazed line. But you can know him by his friends and advisers – they are some of the very same ones Ricky hangs out with…
I like open crazy much better. Easier to keep an eye on them.
14You have to remember that when Perry talks about “Christian” he is using his own definition of the word. Any resemblance to reality is purely accidental. And rare.
15Ha, @montag — “God-Bothering.” I hope you won’t mind if I steal that. Ha!
16Didn’t anyone ever teach Perry that drunks should NEVER get on the telephone, particularly on conference calls! LOL
17Keep Church and State Separate! The Idea of having an already gathered congregation as a voting block is the reason that Kings ruling by “Divine Right” have been the basis of feudalistic government throughout human history. To have a Texas Governor telling people a black man is doing the work of the “Devil” is code speak for the mob rule that the KKK used and every Church Backed King throughout time has ruled using. The republicans want to take us back to those times and style of government. We must be particularly careful to not allow the same erosion in the Democratic Party as well.
18Juanita, you know that mormon’s are not christians. the christian religion does not include magic underwear, a mommy god, or runling planets after death. just because you put jesus’ name in your name doesn’t mean you’re christian.
sincerely yours,
the atheist devil worshipper
19They make the devil look better and better. Great writing, Susan.
20Crazy, dangerous, and stupid…. sums up a whole lot of folks in Texas who keep voting to put this ilk in office… and if we don’t get off our collective dead asses, they’ll put Ted Cruz in the US Senate in November. I was able to schedule Paul Sadler thru town last week. There’s too many people around me right now who vote like (R)obots, and do so in the name of God…. let’s start with those rocket scientists in Lubbock who elected that batdung crazy Judge, and continue to elect Randy Neugebauer to Congress. Here’s a laugh… Noogabooga, who looks like a pudgy cartoon of a man with a corncob implant and a nice set of man ta-ta’s, is handing out one of those little stretchy bracelet things, with a cool tie dye look that says “Randy Rocks”. Yeah, right…. Randy Neugebauer is about the furthest thing from cool and groovy I can think of, but he does have rocks in his head. I acquired one of these free groovy bracelets last week at the West Tx Fair and Rodeo just for proof that I wasn’t making that up. I coordinated the Democrats’ efforts at the Fair again this year; can’t tell you the number of people walking around with Romney/Ryan yard signs who would make nasty comments to my Booth Babes. We did run out of Obama paraphenalia quickly, (which was encouraging) and had to bring in more via Greyhound bus overnight. And then on Sunday night, several of us were invited to a Fiesta at St Vincent’s celebrating Mexican Independence Day to register voters. We registered a woman who had only been a citizen since July. One of our delegates to NC/DNC had an autographed poster of Julian and Joaquin Castro she had framed to protect; we had it on display at the Fair and St Vincent’s. Progress comes in this Ruby Red Bastion one babystep at a time.
And OH… JJ: I made a big “51” sign out of wooden numbers from Hobby Lobby, mounted on a wooden plaque. Painted that puppy a bright red, with stark white numbers. Lots of people were shocked and appalled to discover, like us all, that Texas came in DEAD LAST behind all the other states and DC in healthcare for its citizens. That started lots of conversations. And yes, I fired off a letter to Hobby Lobby a few days later, after it was revealed that their Evangelical owner doesn’t want to include birth control or IUDs for its female employees health insurance, because it offends his religious beliefs. Well guess what…. a-hole…. every employee in your store the afternoon I was there was a female. This is a dollars and cents decision on your part, not a religious awakening/conviction. PTL and cut women’s healthcare…. I am highly suspicious of all this fervor.
21hey j.j….glad you get it off your chest…better than having ulcers..
bet rick perry don t give a big rip…he s done well in the $$ arena…
understand he now owns most of haskel county ,tx..lol
well..one must be rewarded for public service..amen??
keep up the good work….bet it dont pay as good as public service does in texas..lol..jp
22