The Ghost of Vince Foster
So it seems that Scalia was found murdered. It was inevitable, I guess, when reports started filtering out that a pillow was found “over his head.” Subsequent clarifications seem to indicate the pillow was “over” in the sense of “above” his head, not “covering” his head. For god’s sake people! The man laid himself down because he wasn’t feeling well and never woke up from his nap. This happens SO OFTEN, that I have forsworn taking ANY naps unless there is a physician in attendance, because naps seem to be the leading cause of death for people not feeling well.
Speaking of “over his head” Donald Trump continues his “Balls and Innuendo” World Tour and comments on the “murder.” He takes his usual tack of not saying something, but implying much: I don’t know. Maybe there’s something there. I mean, it’s completely possible it’s a plot involving Hillary, Dick Cheney, and Ted Cruz’ secret Cuban-Canadian Troupe of Gymnastic Stunt Assassins, Cirque du Olé. Or maybe not. By the way, the Clintons killed Vince Foster. That was Yuuuuuge.
It’d be enough to drive me to drink, if I weren’t already there. I think I’ll lie down.
~Primo
“naps seem to be the leading cause of death for people not feeling well.”
Don’t forget hospitals. More Americans have died in hospitals than died in both world wars.
1Just visited the website you linked to. How can there be so many deluded nuts in this country? Several cited infowars as a reliable source. amazing!
2Even in a world where conspiracies to do this or that nefarious thing hide under and behind every other privet hedge, there is a yuuuuuge difference between a pillow laying gently over one’s head to muffle undesired light or sound and a pillow held over one’s face by another with sufficient force to prevent breathing and to stifle the inevitable struggle against such force.
The man was 79, appears in pictures to be significantly overweight, and according to the NYT, “had a history of heart trouble and high blood pressure, and was considered too weak to undergo surgery for a recent shoulder injury.”
He died a snacilbupeR. “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”
3It becomes ever harder to parody the snacilbupeR. But brave souls keep trying. How about this one? http://harddawn.com/nimoy-and-obama-killed-scalia/ In their version, Leonard Nimoy had Scalia killed to give Obama enough votes to cancel the 2016 election. I know, you think Nimoy was dead. But no! This was all part of the plan. He faked his death, aided by the Illuminati (who, one presumes, are also connected to the ban on incandescent lightbulbs, another Sinister Plot.)
Sadly, I know people who will totally believe this. I expect you do, too.
4@laurel
I have saved that link and shared it literally with everyone I know. Of course there is a danger that reading therein for more than a few minutes at at time can significantly reduce your IQ, but the humor is worth it. Example: a treatise urging for the ever eloquent Sarah Palin as the next SecState and “Super Elite Homosexuals” (not your ordinary Homo sex u al, but Super Elite Homo sex u als !!!!) “Are Now Recruiting Extraterrestrials Into Their Ungodly Lifestyle” and on and on. Brain dead drivel, the stuff of drug induced hallucinations of course but highly entertaining.
5Jade Helm was reconnaisance work for Scalia’s future demise. Only possible explanation. Special forces troops caught and sprinkled pixie rat poison on the very quail Scalia was going to shoot. Nice work,guys.
6This farce would have fooled a lot more people if it had supposedly happened anywhere but Texas — and a few other selected dark-pink flavored states. Cute, Primo.
7I admit the first thing I thought when I read that Scalia was dead was, “I wonder if Dick Cheney was on that same hunting trip and has he been working on his aim.” And have these conspiracy addicts noticed that Cheney has been “vewwy vewwy quiet” the last week?
8This is all the fault of Loathsome Crooze, or more accurately the fault of his roommate who failed to smother him in his sleep. All this pillow talk inspired by what didn’t happen to Teddie nearly 30 years ago is becoming beyond silly. Albeit, Teddie’s roommate does owe us and has a motive for smothering Scalia to pay his debt. However, if the man has an alibi, let’s hear it, before we speculate.
9@PKM
I feel your pain. In 1985 I interviewed with a small organization north of Dallas. In the parking lot on the day of the job offer interview, this inattentive idiot stepped off a curb right in front of me. I slammed the brakes for all I was worth and he twisted and turned literally hands on the fender of my car to avoid fatal contact. I was offered and took the job. He was and is head of the Audit department. We have been frenemies since. After most exchanges with him I leave his office sad I didn’t hit him at 80mph.
10Micr, I feel your pain, too. Sometimes it really sucks to do the right thing, like slamming on your brakes and not allowing the natural selection process to proceed unhindered.
But, maybe there is a God. And, She called Scalia home so that President Obama will select his replacement. It’s time all those “good” Xtian snacibupeR candidates and members of Congress submit to Her will and the US Constitution.
11Loony tunes.
Good lord, don’t they have anything better to do?
And a simple regulation requiring an autopsy for an unattended death would have put an end to all of this. But Republicans are not big on government ‘intrusion’, are they?
12I’ve avoided clicking on those headlines because I’m trying desperately to cling to what little sanity I have left. I did think it weird that in Texas a justice of the peace is allowed to pronounce on the cause of death without ever seeing or being on the same property as the body, but that’s not our fault.
It’s fairly easy to see when someone’s been smothered; there are signs. Anyone who reads a lot of mysteries should know what they are, not to mention a medical examiner.
13There arent enough medical examiners in the world to autopsy every unattended death in rural Texas. Absent any evidence of criminal activity at the death scene, the local JP pronounces and the living go on. And I repeat, the death of a 79 year old fat man with heart issues and HBP in his sleep isnt a curiosity.
14El Primo…I would love to get your take on the chances of Obama getting his SC nominee confirmed. I want so much to believe that Republicans will see how it could hurt them to refuse to do it.
15Having read the written transcript of the Trump radio conservation, I am once again struck by the absolute ignorance of this arrogant man. He accepts the premise right away, no attempt to get at the facts, just “Wow, this is big!”, pandering to the rwnj’s all the way.
16Even if an autopsy was completed and showed natural causes, wingnuts would declare the results were faked. Or maybe there was no autopsy at all! It’s was all faked, just like the moon landings!
17In Conspiracy-Theory-Land, there are no natural deaths.
18I don’t have proof, but I’m fairly certain that Scalia requested cremation so that people wouldn’t line up to pee on his grave.
Crap. I was already setting up some PTO and everything!
19@Debbo
20You are so right!
Ranger Jay, the people peeing and the people dancing would conflict.
21Micr, It may be a waste of time to check out every unattended death of an old guy with a bad heart, but somebody should have realized that this was a bit of a headline case. At least do it right so the loudmouths with media outlets have no basis to say you didn’t. (Not that it will stop them entirely; see “birthers”.)
22Ranger Jay, as annoying a career as Justice Scalia had at SCROTUS, I’m reserving my one hour or so of publicly exposing myself for Darth Cheney. Give me a pot of coffee, a couple of beers and I’ll engrave a few choice words on his tombstone.
23Anyone who knows anything about expensive hunting resorts knows that you gotta be vetted to get into one (a) and (b) you’re not going to make it if your history doesn’t say you’re “one of us.”
There’s no way in Hades, barring Seal Team Six doing a HALO drop (which would land them in a cactus patch–have you looked at the pictures of that place?) and maybe getting shot as Mexican cartel reps–for someone paid by liberals to assassinate a Supreme Court Justice on that ranch. It provides seclusion and security–that’s what it’s for.
Now a more reasonable conspiracy theory has certain right-wing honchos cooking up Citizens United with Scalia in some similar secluded and well-guarded spot. Plying him with ample food and drink and cigars and letting him suggest how to word their document so’s he could talk the other justices into it. Because that is what those places are for–for the rich and powerful to have secret confabs where they decide how to squeeze more of out us.
24Oh my! What a cess pool of crazy!
Recall that Yankees went crazy after JFK’s assassination when told that a Texas justice of the peace had to rule on his death. Apparently JP means something completely different up there. Same disbelief happening here. Of course, if a medical examiner had conducted an autopsy, the same people currently claiming that something was off with the JP declaring a natural death would still claim a cover-up with the explanation that the ME obviously had an agenda.
25Austinhatlady, I don’t know what JP means in Texas. But in some places outside of TX it generally means traffic court, marriages and lesser offenses. Odds are about 100% that Justice Scalia died a ‘natural’ death in his sleep which most any doctor could confirm without an autopsy. (and probably a doctor did in this instance)
The conspiracy nuts need to find some other cause to play and respect the privacy & wishes of the Scalia family.
26PKM: JP(S) are Joseph (P.) Stalin’s initials, according to conspiracy theorists who believe that the artist’s initials on the lincoln penny are proof that the treasury has been infiltrated by communists. (Not that Joseph Stalin is known to have used a middle name.)
Unless they’ve moved on to something crazier.
27I read the article about Nimoy faking his own death so he could have Scalia killed. I read it a couple of times, thinking, this IS snark, isn’t it? Isn’t it? Too depressing to consider that these people are serious.
28It makes perfect sense that an assassin would have the pesence of mind, after Scala was suffocated, to remake the bed to hide all signs of the struggle but forget to remove the pillow.
Unfortunately, there are other activities that are just as dangerous as naps. I learned this 8 years ago when my father-in-law joined Elvis and Tywin Lannister in the ranks of people who died on the toilet. Good luck avoiding that.
29Why in the name of sweet baby J did Obama wait so long to do this thing? If he’s such a great criminal mastermind, why did he not have this hit performed six years ago?
30I wonder if they’ve questioned the prostitutes yet?
31Groan!! I figured the time line for the conspiracy theories to begin and boy did I hit the jackpot! No money! Just jack.
32Fools! It’s as plain as the nose on your face. Cruz promised Trump he would concede at the convention and let Trump get the nomination if Trump appoints Cruz to the Supreme Court. Trump assassinates Scalia to make room for Cruz. Who else but Trump has the money to pull this off without getting caught? Anyway, you don’t have to be a natural born citizen to be on the Court. Man, I got to stop reading these rwnj web sites.
33Any nut caSes reading this, not that they are, but if….are going to quote this discussion about what could or might have happened.
34The wingnutty postulations (or is it pustulations) about Scalia’s death, in view of his health, are getting as tiresome as those jumping of the conspiracy bandwagon. To me it’s equally wrong to speculate even in jest about prostitutes or conservative skullduggery. Scalia, despite his horrible positions on so many current social programs and his deepening Catholicism that seems to have shaded his thinking, was, even in my cynical mind, a profoundly honest man.
35This explains wingnut’s behavior.
http://www.morningticker.com/2016/02/scientists-stunned-to-discover-neanderthals-mated-with-humans-way-way-earlier-than-thought/
Way back means less than thirty years ago.
36Eyesores: Stalin had a patronymic, which was Vissarionovich in Russian and dze Bessarionis in Georgian. No way you can P on that.
37Maybe wingnut’s imaginary lord and saviour owed Satan one yooooge favor and delivered Scalia in lieu of that debt.
38Sanborne: for that matter, his last name wasn’t Stalin, either. It was Jugashvili: Joseph Patr(onym)ick Jugashvili
39Djugashvili.
40Gesundheit!
Actually, it’s “Джугашвили”
41@daChipster
Are you sure it wasn’t იოსებ ბესარიონის ძე ჯუღაშვილი?
42