The Craziest Sumbitch in Texas
And y’all thought Louie Gohmert wouldn’t be stable even if you mounted him on a tripod? We can top Ole Louie in Texas now.
Oh Darlin’, you ain’t met new Texas Congressman Steve Stockman.
In a sudden burst of Damned if I Know, Stockman has decided to one-up Joe Wilson and live tweet the Presidents lies during the State of the Union speech. Hashtag: #YouLie Please feel free to use that tag to list all the crazy crap Stockman has done in his life. Wikipedia is a good place to start.
Stockman doing this has shocked even me. Stockman knows how to spell? Stockman is even vaguely aware of his surroundings? Stockman knows where he is?
But, of yes, there’s more. There’s always more with Stockman.
Ted Nugent who promised, promised dammit, that he would be either dead or in jail by last November if President Obama was re-elected, but who apparently is neither, dammit, will be a guest at the State of the Union. Yes, a guest of — Steve Stockman. I would not kid you.
It is not known if Nugent will shower, wear something with sleeves, or be sober at this historic event. And we ask that cameras not shoot Nugent below the waist because he might be doing something with his hands under his pants that I cannot even bring myself to think about.
Musician and gun advocate Ted Nugent will be Congressman Steve Stockman’s guest at Tuesday evening’s State of the Union Address by President Barack Obama. Nugent will be available to speak to the media before and after the Address.
“I am excited to have a patriot like Ted Nugent joining me in the House Chamber to hear from President Obama,” said Stockman. “After the Address I’m sure Ted will have plenty to say.”
Oh please, Ted, have plenty to say. Oh please. Pretty, pretty please.
Somewhere in the dark basement of Congress, the Republican leadership is banging their heads against the wall. I take great pleasure in that.
Thank you, thank you, thank you to everybody who gave me the heads up. You made my day.
“…After the Address I’m sure Ted will have plenty to say.”
Oh goody. A third gibbering fool to respond to the SOTU.
Also, exactly what makes Nugent a patriot? Was it these recent remarks:
“…Barack Obama gang who believes in we the sheeple and actually is attempting to re-implement the tyranny of King George that we escaped from in 1776,” Nugent said in a recent interview. “And if you want another Concord Bridge, I got some buddies.”
Nugent is no patriot and neither are you, Stockman.
1Dear me, “patriot” now has a whole bunch of new denotations and conotations associated with it if Ted Nugent qualifies as one!
2If the Secret Service lets him in, they are not doing their job.
3I wants pictures of any & all Veterans shaking this draft dodger’s hand to use in 2014 & 2016. And I’d pay to hear any talking head on tv mention how he got out of fighting for the country he claims to love so much. This disgusting pig should be shunned & shamed by every Veteran & all Americans.
And, quite frankly, I’m not sure if I’m talking about Nugent or Stockman at this point.
Good Grief.
4Hope they detain him and do a thorough cavity search, preferably by an agent with big hands.
5Most people are glad they only have to deal with their nutty relatives for a few hours at Thanksgiving. But in the family of the Republican Party there’s so much of the crazy, one day a year can’t possibly fit ’em all in. Here’s a toast to Ted Nugent! Not just crazy anymore, Guest of Honor crazy!
6Just one more gift to the nation from “the stupid party.”
7The TV pool coverage in the House chamber will have to assign two isolated cameras constantly pointed at Stockman and Nugent. We don’t want to miss a second of instant replay whenever these bozos start pulling off whatever stunts they have planned.
8Oh Lordy! And here I was looking forward to hearing Rand Paul’s response and now I get Stockman and Nugent? Holy cannoli! I am thinking of Boehner, McConnell and Rove all in a huddle trying to figure out how to stop the crazy ….and they can’t. Tee hee.
9I sure do wish Ted Nugent was still just playin’ that wild guitar like he did back in the ’70’s with “Cat Scratch Fever”. That was fun. Even deer huntin’ is acceptable.
10But Ted should have stayed out of politics. He’s a big part of stirring up those folks who think Obama and all Democrats want to repeal the Second Amendment and take away everybody’s guns.
Damn it, can Texas embarrass themselves much more? I really don’t think Nugent has any business there, because I really think he is stupid enough to do something stupid…
Could you all in DC have an ice storm just for those two, so they can’t make the US look any stupider? I am seriously beginning to think maybe part of Texas should just get up and go away and take Stockman, Nugent, Gohmert and a few others with it… My husband is beginning to NOT admit he is a native Texan, and I am beginning to NOT admit my family has been there since before Texas was a Republic!
11This guy’s definition of a patriot = some idiot who craps and pees in his pants to avoid the draft … go figure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
12Oh, Sweet Mother of God! Texas has fallen down the rabbit hole…once again!
13Nothing says patriotism like pooping your pants and walking around in them (with poop) for weeks and not washing, all to get out of carrying a gun in Vietnam – yeah, some patriot, and didn’t he get charged also with child molestation?
14Wouldn’t you hate it if the “Squirrel!” news media focused all their attention on these two and forgot Rubio?
Yeah. Me neither.
15Juanita you must be living right. The Republican’s just continue to one up each other on the crazy. Hell, they practically write your column for you. All you have to bring to the table is talent for humor and snark. No body does it better.
16This is nauseating. My Philly in-laws about had a stroke when my sister let her daughter, my niece who was 10 at the time, purchase a Swiss Army Knife while we were all in St Thomas for our wedding in 1995. Then I endured the not so subtle remarks made during 8 years of George W. There were snide remarks while Perry was in the hunt for Presidential timber… now this? OMG.
Gonna need a big bottle of tequila and a whole lot of limes tomorrow night.
17We should reward them by giving them the publicity they crave?
18Oh, the stoopid–it hurts so good! I can hardly believe even Stockman is this much of an idiot, but I see he is. Well, this is truly the gift that keeps on giving–for Democrats. Yea, Ted, keep it up!
19I am, from now on, going to tell people that I am from the Free State of Galveston. Being from Texas is just getting more and more embarrassing.
201toughlady, you nailed it!
21Making like he’s crazy is about the only thing Ted can do now that his real musical talent has flown out the window. But Lordy he loves him so much the spotlight! Well, Teddums, if you think you deserve any light at all, there’s the spotlight and there’s the pilot light. That last one should do yuh.
22About twenty of the congressfolk have invited family members or survivors of recent mass shootings as their guests. Wonder if Ted Nugent is going to try to talk to them? Please, no.
23I’m without words.
24Apparently some GOPpers’ definition of “patriot” is “whoever talks the worst trash about Barack Obama.”
That’s quite a reversal from the way they felt about the office of the President a few years ago, when anyone who criticized Baby Bush was a “traitor.”
George Orwell had some things to say about people who rewrite parts of the dictionary.
25Ted reminds me of Pretty Boy Floyd… he lives by notoriety & will die by notoriety. If he can’t contain himself & yells out like Rep. Joe Wilson did, the Capital police can swoop in & remove him.
26Ted Nugent is the modern-day John Wayne: He thinks that if he talks tough enough it will expunge his guilt for not going into the military.
27If you see a red dot on Ted’s forehead, it does not mean he has converted to Hinduism.
28The word for these guys isn’t “patriot.” It’s “anoesis.” I think ObamaCare covers it.
29I heard the Teapubs are calling the families of gun violence victims “props.” That’s nauseating enough, but they also will hang on every bit of gall that dribbles from Ted’s stubbled chin.
30JJ: You are wrong about who the stupidest person is. There are bunches of stupidest people electing a—-les such as Stockman.
31I have to drive from Corpus to Kentucky in June and avoiding stupid country is going to cost me plenty.
I hope Ted gets a seat behind two very tall Secret Service Agents.
32We Friendswoodians are just mortified that this person says he’s from our town. Friendswood is a town divided into 2 counties, Harris and Galveston. It is said you do not live in Friendswood proper unless you live between the creeks on the Galveston side. I think he’s one of those other people. He’s really Clear Lake area. We all think Larry Taylor snuck him in so he would have someone to talk to.
33This must be the best Professional Political Organization ever. Just wanted to ask Moms Hugs to please give Pretty Boy Floyd a little break. He was a scoundrel, but he wasn’t a low-life like
34Ted Nugent. Woody Guthrie wrote a song about Floyd, so that has to stand for something.
Who in the hell is ted nugent and who cares? The more he is written about in the newspapers and talked about on television and radio, the more important he will think he is. It would be wiser to push him and Stockman into oblivion.
35Just when I thought it could not get any more emabarrassing to be a Texan!
36Firstly, I really enjoy your blog. Humor is definitely needed in these strange times. Secondly, I live for the moment that the nuge yells out ANYTHING from the audience, directed at President Obama. I’ve got plenty of popcorn.
37alstroemeria, do you mean “nudje”? If not, you inadvertently made a great pun on ‘the nudge’. Nudje is Yiddish for “to pester, to bore, to annoy”, which, while appropriate, is much too mild for that chazzerei.
38chazzerei = trash
39Doesn’t the Secret Service vet attendees?
40So this is the face of the “Party of Lincoln” in the 21st century…Ted Nugent, Steve Stockman and Rand Paul?
I was taking my grandkids to the circus tomorrow night…maybe I’ll just tell ’em to watch the SOTU and the Teabagger “response” afterwards…got plenty of peanuts at home, too.
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