Most of you have heard of Joel Osteen.  He’s a prosperity gospel preacher in Houston whose church purchased the city’s old basketball arena and installed some more spotlights and ginormous big screen gadgets.  I started calling it Six Flags over Jesus.

Like most teevee evangelists, Osteen is very self-promoting.  I lost a dollar bet once by laying odds on whether he’d say his own name or Jesus more times in a television appearance.  I was betting on Jesus.

Well, Joel went on Chris Wallace’s Fox news show and starting talking about the gays.

Megachurch pastor Joel Osteen says being gay is a sin, but claims that belief doesn’t make him a “gay hater” or a “gay basher.”

Appearing yesterday on Fox News Sunday, Osteen told host Chris Wallace, “I believe the Scripture says that being gay is a sin. But, you know, every time I say that, Chris … people say, well, you are a gay hater and you’re a gay basher. I’m not. I don’t — I don’t dislike anybody. Gays are some of the nicest, kindest, most loving people in the world. But my faith is based on what I believe the Scripture says, and that’s the way I read the Scripture.”

How charmed the gays must be to know that they are “some of the nicest, kindest, most loving people in the world.”  And how surprised I am!  Because I have known some gays who are a real bitch and not nice at all.  I guess they didn’t get the “Here’s How All Gays Should Act” memo.

But, it is real sweet how Joel patronizes gays before he declares them sinners doomed to rotting in hell.  Goodness, that was real nice.  He could have said, “I hate you and you’re going to burn in fire forever.”  Instead, he said, “I love you and you’re going to burn in fire forever.”  See, that’s much nicer.

You know, I am dead solid perfect sure that there were gays during the time of Jesus.  Yet, Sweet Jesus never, ever said a word about gays.  Not even a hint.  However, he had much to say about hypocrisy and being judgmental.