Ted, You Promised!

February 09, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Get a load of this crap.

Screen Shot 2014-02-09 at 10.04.21 AM

Now let me tell you what I don’t understand about this.  I do not understand how this could be physically possible.

Nugent told a gathered crowd at the NRA’s annual meeting in April 2012 that, “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year. Why are you laughing? Do you think that’s funny? That’s not funny at all. I’m serious as a heart attack.”

Ted, Darlin’, you are 311 days past your expiration date.  That’s 26,870,400 seconds or 447,840 minutes or 7464 hours.  In short, you should be cold and moldy by now.

ted-nugent-with-a-gun-11This is event is proudly announced on Greg Abbott’s website.

But, you know, that’s okay because on Tuesday, February 18th, in Wichita Falls, Texas, two men whose butts overwhelms their mouths will take the stage and say totally crazy crap.

It’s gonna be like Stereo Insanity.  The Bookends of Looney.  The Twins of Derangement.  Los Dos Amigos Locos.  And for our Louisiana friends, Deux Hommes Fous Porter Chèvres.  Yeah, chèvres.

And it’s at a coffee house.  A damn coffee house.  What?  Like somebody is going to read poetry?  

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Ted, You Promised!”


  1. My suggestion is that all the Second Amendment Fundamentalists strap on all their testosterone supplementation devices (all with rounds chambered and ready for action in case any UN black helicopters show up), and go to that coffee house.

    I’m a great believer in statistics – with that many loaded guns carried by folks who believe gun safety is a liberal plot to emasculate them, someone’s firearm will likely suffer a premature discharge. Ironically, for the boys thinking it cool to carry a pistol stuffed into one’s pants, the emasculation is likely to be self-inflicted.

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  2. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Sane citizens of Texas be alert! Remember that Feb 18th is a night to stay off the streets and keep your children home. If you must have coffee, do not do it in Wichita Falls, TX.

    The rest of y’all do as RepubAnon suggests and have fun with Greg, Ted and your guns. It’s your right. Enjoy!

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  3. So I guess you can fit 20 people in comfortably at the coffee house – with 30 it will look packed! What a great photo opportunity. Funny that they don’t have a meet and greet at the community center – which seats 70 – http://www.wichitafallstx.gov/index.aspx?NID=1599

    🙂

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  4. Cold and moldy? Would you settle for just moldy?

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  5. @Sharon,

    Be honest hon. Would you really want to “meet” or “greet” either one of these “people”?

    Maybe 30 people is all they could get to do that meet and greet thing…… and at a coffee house.

    Take your guns, and enjoy your coffee. Not so much that it makes you nervous…….. there’s always that “itchy trigger finger thing” doncha know?

    Maybe try the DeCaf????

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  6. Well, at least we know it won’t be a Starbucks.

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  7. Fred Farklestone says:

    Little Teddie is going to have a visit later on this spring/early summer, from a group of Vietnam Veteran’s most of whom were drafted!
    We’ve even got a Vietnam combat photographer to video the public meeting!
    We want to have a open-discussion with Little Teddie, about his draft-dodging and then bragging about it!
    Wouldn’t want Little Teddie to lie about the get-together, now would we?
    Stay tuned!

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  8. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    The meet and greet coffee is at 14:45. They may have some fun there swapping pieces. But the real fun with guns will be later that evening, when they’ve adjourned to a local watering hole for some liquid courage to bolster their gohmerts.

    Bets anyone? I’ll take 10-1 that Juanita Jean will be writing about their after the greet fun with guns and gohmerts.

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  9. Well he’s not dead and he sure isn’t in jail…yet. Maybe after the Repug “coffee clatch”, Nugent may be able to prove he wasn’t lying…again. Sure hope so.

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  10. Hey, do you really want all those potentially-armed loonies to be meeting in a bar?. On second thoughts…

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  11. Marcia in CO says:

    Two men crazy Porter goats … what’s a Porter goat? Or is that slang for Ted Nugent?

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  12. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Marcia in CO, my guess is the reference to Great Goat beer which is 6% alcohol. The prediction being Ted and Greg will be all beer crazy as gohmerts with the added alcohol.

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  13. Ted Nugent should just stick to what he does best… but after his hit song “Journey to the Center of the Mind” with the Amboy Dukes in 1968, I can’t think of what that might be.
    He stopped making sense after this gem of songwriting:

    Beyond the seas of thought
    beyond the realm of what
    Across the streams of hopes and dreams
    where things are really not

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  14. Aggieland liz says:

    Maybe it’s “two men that are goatsucking fools” ?

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  15. Marge Wood says:

    I think the phrase “coffee house” is what got me. Somehow it sounds so out of character. Truck stop? Cafe? Bar? Convention Center? oh I forgot, they are reaching out to the rest of us. Maybe we oughta show up.

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  16. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Great catch, Marge Wood! Coffee House = translation: reaching out to women and younger voters. Then they will trample their own gohmerts before the coffee cools and adjourn to the local redneck watering hole. Ted, “you tramps want to join us?” Greg, “Yeah, you snot nosed brats are invited, too.”

    But no, hate to burst your bubble, Marge, those of the thinking group are not even invited for coffee. They’ve got the guns and gohmerts to prove that.

    Aggieland liz, maybe two goat molesting gohmerts?

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  17. Yeah, coffee house does sound all too strange. Armpit of a really, really funkified garage with pieces of motorcycles lying around. That’s more like it!

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  18. Aggieland liz says:

    Oh yeah, and back on target (briefly!!) Ted’s a $@&!! 24-carat coward! Hope you vets make mincemeat outta that mouse!

    PKM, still laughing! 😀 thx

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  19. I will never forget the reputation Nugent acquired when he avoided being drafted. He was better known for that sheer unadulterated crazy than he was admired for his music, back in the time when there were actual talented and innovative guitar players around. That was the real source of his notoriety.

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  20. Miss Prissybritches says:

    The vets should sell tickets for their event….. will be priceless.

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