Ted Cruz Quits!

May 03, 2016 By: Primo Encarnación Category: Uncategorized

John Kasich, your table is ready.

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0 Comments to “Ted Cruz Quits!”


  1. UmptyDump says:

    Damn – I better cancel that extra order of popcorn kernels for watching the Republican convention.

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  2. Auntie BFly says:

    Adios, Ted, don’t let the door hit you on the butt on the way out, and have fun being the Senate pariah.

    My big question is who will be Drumpf’s running mate? Ted? I can’t imagine, after all that sliming they’ve done to each other. Christie? Oy, two bombastic buffoons for the price of one. Kasich? Maybe – Drumpf’s ego can’t take someone who speaks well.

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  3. The only man in the race that scares me more than Donald Trump is now out of the race. There IS a God in heaven!

    Now if He would just do something about El Combover…

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  4. And now if he will be like that old soldier of yore and just fade f’ing away. Quietly. Not one decibel of screech.

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  5. e platypus onion says:

    Cruz looks like he blew more than one seal-literally. That wasn’t nice of me.

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  6. Sandridge says:

    Yeeehaa!
    All I could envision when I (just) heard of DetesTED bailing out (effen luzer, eh?) was that ending scene from a very old (1930’s?) Dracula movie, when they open the coffin and pound a stake into Good Ol’ Drac’s ‘heart’.
    May he writhe in agony tonight (and for at least the next five months).
    .
    I’m thinking DetesTED has just become extremely vulnerable in his 2018 Senate election (if he doesn’t do a Scarah Palin first 🙂 ).
    I mean has this mofo’ing worthless Repuke done a mofo’ing damned thing at all for the citizens of Texas since he was sworn in?
    Every move he has made, every putrid utterance, was designed to advance himself. Look at his actual legislative record, it’s a huge nothingburger, absolutely zip, zilch, nada of consequence to almost anybody in the whole effen state of Texas (except a few cronies).

    This particular Rescumlican is going to have even fewer post-office ‘friends’ than even DeLay, Perry, Bush, or Hastert (I predict)!

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  7. Sandridge, I wish I could believe your predictions about detesTED losing his next senate race, but the crazy runs deep in Texas, and he beat the real estate mogul soundly here. So I have my doubts that anything he has done or anything anybody has said about him during this run will affect his senate seat.

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  8. slipstream says:

    Hmmm. It would appear that the “he is Lucifer in the flesh” endorsement didn’t help Cruz much. Funny, that.

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  9. Sandridge says:

    djw,
    What else can I say, I’m an incurable optimist (urk, snarf, bwaaaahahahahaha…).
    I’m just thinking that even the derp Texas bottomdwelling floundeR’s may be starting to feel Cruz is actually, really, a Luzer, which could be the kiss of death (smooch-smoooch-…) for DetesTED’s political future.
    Even they might finally see that he is truly ‘Murika’s Most DetesTED.
    .
    Now, let’s let HRC’s oppo research get down and nucular on the Donald. Fire up that reactor, arm the warheads…this is going to be a toxically radioactive summer fersure.

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  10. maryelle says:

    Buh bye, Teddy boy. Oh, and too bad that VP thing didn’t work out, Miss Carly.
    Looks like Drumpf has a new conspiracy theory to chew on: Oozy’s Dad killed Kennedy and I’ll bet he has investigators hard at work on it as we speak. Remember, the ones he sent to Kenya and Hawaii who found all that proof that President Obama wasn’t born in the US? Oh, wait……

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  11. It took Carly six years to drive HP completely into the ditch. It only took six days for her to do the same to Cruz. Hey Donald, Carly is looking for a new prom date.

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  12. What?!? God’s AnoinTED just folded?? I can hardly wait to hear what Daddy Crooze says about this.

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  13. Elizabeth Moon says:

    Y’all see what Lindsey Graham said?

    Lindsey Graham ‏@LindseyGrahamSC 5h5 hours ago

    If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed…….and we will deserve it.

    …………………………………………………….

    ‘Course, the GOP already deserved to be destroyed; Lindsey peddling smarm about Cruz’s great effort to save conservatism (yeah, after seeing the above in a friend’s Twitter stream, I went to Lindsey’s to pick it up directly) is like putting dish soap instead of gravy on the potatoes. Slimy and tastes awful.

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  14. Elizabeth Moon says:

    Mark, that’s brilliant. Six years for HP, six days to sink Cruz. Might’ve been even faster if the election had been sooner.

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  15. Sandridge says:

    Primo,
    John ‘Khameleon’ Kasich will be dining at “The Roadkill Cafe”, with about sixteen carcasses…errr…courses to choose from.
    When his salad plate gets set down, and he sees it’s got a mirrored finish 🙂 he’ll probably gulp.
    .
    Last course: Cruz– https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Skunk
    Ben Carson: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-dead_meat

    .
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roadkill_cuisine
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roadkill
    .

    I have to admit, in my various ‘road warrior’ days I drove a lot of miles getting around and back home on weekends (and even more air miles).
    One way of amusing myself on a long road was to dream up menu item names for a ‘roadkill cafe’ haute cuisine. If I ever find my notebook I’ll post a few.
    (Had to laugh to keep from crying I guess, because it always bothers me to see the poor little innocent critters wiped out on the highways, and I’ve seen a lot; used to co-relate the carnage with the moon cycles too.)

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  16. The good news is that Cruz is out.
    The bad news is that Trump is in.

    Too bad it’s too late for HRC to switch to GOP.
    Clinton vs Sanders in November would be awesome.

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  17. @Sandridge

    Ot but just fer yew!

    http://www.irossco.com/comedy/joke23.htm

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  18. Old Redneck says:

    So — what happened to all the GOP Golden Boys — you know — the New Face of the GOP — Rubio, Christie, Walker, Kasich, Bush, Santorum, Jindal . . . ??

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  19. Sandridge says:

    @Micr,
    OMFG! Exactly the twisTed humor I would dream up tooling down the highway.
    Cripes, dang near choked on an ice cube reading about “Slab of Lab”, “Poodles ‘N Noodles”, “Sharpei Fillet”, “Shake N’ Bake Snake”…
    They didn’t list “Dachshund Delight” or “Roast Rottweiler” 🙂 . Or “German Shepherd Gorditas, “Irish Setter Stew”, “Comaled Calico Cat”, the possibilities are endless…

    Down here it’s things like “Calle Coyote”, “Windshield Whitewing”, “Javelina de Tortilla”, “Radiator Roadrunner”, “Fruitbat Fricassee”, “Gravy ‘N Grackle”, “Chihuahua Nuggets”… 🙂 .

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  20. Aggieland Liz says:

    Dont forget those cullinary classics Armadillo on the Halfshell, or Armadillo deLight…Grilled Venison is common around these parts…we had Venison deLight the other night, with a side of Venison duDoor, sigh – to the tune of 1000 bucks (snort!) She ran into us and i still cant figure out how she hit only the headlamp and the driver door!

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  21. maggie says:

    Wow! I think it was Robert Dole who predicted that if Cruz was the nominee the R’s would lose big time so that nomination just couldn’t happen. Some times old white R men do get their wish.

    Anyone else notice how hard Cruz was on women in the past few days? Carly falls off the platform right in front of him and he just steps over her. In his withdrawal special, he bops Heidi twice in the race with his elbow and it doesn’t even register! Is there a chance that I will ever see an MRI of his brain? This guide is the living example of “out of” touch.

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  22. Trump is downright awful, but I think he can be beaten. Cruz still scared me, even though he’s out. I think that even though he’s really disliked generally, it would be all too possible for him to win. Now I hope that the Senate will make him miserable so that he’ll just go home and leave us alone.
    A girl can dream, can’t she?

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  23. AliceBeth says:

    It will be interesting to see which GOP toady will accept the VP spot. Since I cannot think of one with integrity, it could be any one of those that Trump insulted during the campaign. Saw a photo of him with “Little Marco” the other day. Or maybe he will go with an unknown…that would take Palin or Bachmann out of the possible choices.

    Any woman who would accept should immediately lose her “woman card” for eternity.

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  24. treehugger says:

    The stuff of nightmares is a Trump/Cruz ticket. I was pretty surprised that Cruz quit, but possibly Trump offered him a deal he couldn’t refuse.

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  25. @treehugger
    Yeah. Don’t underestimate that famous negotiation line that starts “either your signature or your brains will be on this contract within the next 5 seconds. Don’t delay cause we wont.”

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  26. Primo Encarnación says:

    I’m afraid it might be some crazy-ass retired military FOX News contributing moron – like an evil twin of Admiral “Who am I? Why am I here?” James Stockdale.

    Think about this and feel the shivers run down your spine:

    Allen West.

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  27. maryelle says:

    He’ll be advised to choose a female VP, but he is so oppositional, he will go with a male. Hope it’s that wacko Governor of Maine, Paul LePage. Now there’s a match made in heaven.

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  28. @Primo

    Good thought.

    Allen West signing on as Veep will vindicate West in the minds of so many veterans who still feel West was railroaded and hounded out of the Army by WPPA member Raymond Odierno. A position BTW with which I agree. That said, I still think West is a loon, same as Odierno.

    But Allen West as Veep might get for Drumpf a few to a lot of votes from Florida and veterans that aren’t feeling the Drumpf right now.

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  29. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Primo, you called the Drumpf nomination ahead of everyone yesterday. You da MAN! That gave Jane and I many laughs at the expense of the pundits last night. A Drumpf VP? Agreed it will be a military light weight. Probably some over inflated Light Colonel or Jim Webb. After gaining zero traction as a Democrat and at the rate the snacilbupeR fell out of the Klown Kar, ol’ Jimbo had to have been kicking himself for changing his cloak.

    Allen West? Maybe. But Mental Ben seems to be Donnie’s choice among the blah possibilities. Donnie loves false bravado, so it’s my guess that Jim Webb will be his “I love to kill” entrant.

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  30. W. C. (Pete) Peterson says:

    I don’t suppose it would be possible to get Wendy Davis to run against Cruz next time, would it? It would be great to watch her beat him like a cheap drum.

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  31. Rastybob says:

    Drunpf should be a joke. But he is all too real.
    Don’t misunderesatamate. him he is big with the low IQ folks.
    And their are a lot of them.

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  32. W C I might move back to Texas just to vote for Wendy

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  33. Perhaps Trump will choose himself as his VP. His ego is big enough for two.

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  34. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    W. C. (Pete) Peterson, Wendy Davis, Cecile Richards and any number of delightful brilliant Texas ladies to defeat Crooze.

    Keep the “lose with Crooze” gear folks. It is still good for his next attempt at election.

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  35. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Yesterday I wasted a lot of time enjoying the Crooze clip where Failurina was shoved to the deck by the little Croozers. That will teach her about reading Hansel & Gretel to impressionable kids.

    What a day for Teddie. He ended his night elbowing Heidi in the head. That man is seriously dangerous to women.

    http://crooksandliars.com/cltv/2016/05/watch-ted-cruz-elbow-his-wife-head

    Schadenfreude. The taste of so many moments on film, if Teddie decides to run for Senate again.

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  36. stevethereturned says:

    And the ever-helpful Dan Patrick (TX Lt. Gov.) is now proposing that should Trump win, he should appoint Cruz to the Supreme Court. Thanks for absolutely nothing, Dan.

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  37. BarbinDC says:

    And, now, the rumor is that Kasich is throwing in the towel, too.

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  38. Linda Phipps says:

    This just in: Kasich The Unformed has also called it quits. But then God never anointed him in the first place.

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  39. Sandridge says:

    Wish I had time and talent to draw this cartoon:
    Big, greasy, nasty cook-waiter swaggers out from the kitchen of the “Roadkill Cafe” with a platter of delectables, up to a large family(values) table seating all the GOPosaurs (looking mighty unhappy). Repulsive, cigar-smoking cook-waiter Donald says to them: ‘You’re having streetmeat today folks, choke it down and enjoy’. Then: ‘Y’all enjoy your Cruz Casserole? Dessert is a bowl of Kasich Compote, chow down, suckers’…
    Or something like that.

    Except that I think they will all close ranks and get fired up to elect his sorry a$$ by November (despite his breaking the R’s “Eleventh Commandment” numerous times, they’ve all acquired a taste for roadkill).

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  40. Linda Phipps says:

    Lynn N, he would also appoint himself to the Supreme Court.

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  41. June Bug says:

    @ steventhereturned..Just watch out for Dan Patrick. I predict he has presidential aspirations…he just had himself baptized in the Jordan river. As you know, that puts him very close to Jesus.

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  42. Sandridge, I like to swear, especially F-bombs. But . . . can you think of something other than “mother f******”? Seriously.

    I hope Drumpf chooses Coulter for VP. I can’t think of 2 more repulsive human beings in the US of A.

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