Ted Cruz: National Joke(ster)

June 21, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Cruz

Ted Cruz thinks we’re all laughing with him, not at him.

Bless his heart.

TedCruz_nitwit_2Remember when Cruz made jokes about Joe Biden the day Biden was burying his son?  Apparently, that was just his warm-up act.

Well, Mr. Screw-Compassion-I’m-Here-For-the-Kill decided that last night was the perfect time for gun control jokes.

“You know the great thing about the state of Iowa is, I’m pretty sure you all define gun control the same way we do in Texas — hitting what you aim at,” Cruz said at a town hall meeting Friday in Red Oak.

There’s another joke here in Texas.  We say, “He’s so mean that he’s talk about ropes in the home of a man who had just been hung.”  Bingo.

Ted goes on.

“My wife, Heidi, who is a petite, 5’2 California blonde, she was standing at the tripod unloading the full machine gun with a pink baseball cap that said ‘armed and fabulous,'” he said.

He also visited a firing range yesterday where the only statement he made about Charleston was that President Obama should stop politicizing it.  Oh, and that we should use the death penalty for Roof.  That’s it.  That’s his statement.  Obama should quit dividing America and black people should stop all this silly bleeding to death in their churches.

I hate this man.  Lord help me, I do.

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0 Comments to “Ted Cruz: National Joke(ster)”


  1. Truth of the matter is that he isn’t a real candidate. You want proof? He never uttered these stupid things when he was running against Dewhurst for the Senate seat? Why not? Well, he actually wanted to be senator.

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  2. RepubAnon says:

    Yes, but Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s idea of sending his “posse” to guard African-American churches during services has its own charm. After all, few things make an unarmed black man feel more secure than knowing there’s an armed white guy ready to shoot anyone “suspicious” nearby.

    My advice: when the collection plate comes around, don’t reach for your wallet.

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  3. Marion (formerly known as MM) says:

    Drag him in the dirt behind a truck for a while and see what comes out of his mouth then.

    I’ve now got zero tolerance for the crap that comes out of people’s mouths after a racist kills 9 people. Cruz, et al, all you should be saying is heartfelt compassion for the friends, families and colleagues &/or standing up on your hind legs to start working to end racism.

    This has been the line in the sand for me. He’s not even close to being even three fifths of a human.

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  4. Zyxomma says:

    The klown kar is krowded. According to Trump, Mexicans are criminals (specifically rapists and drug dealers). According to Cruz, more guns!! More guns!!

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  5. SteveThe Returned says:

    What an absolute piece of filth. Nice job on that Repub minority outreach effort, Teddy boy. Scott, I think you’re on to something, here: there’s no way that Cruz is a serious presidential candidate; he’s engaged in some sort of lunatic performance art, or he’s warming up for the big-money conservative hate-talk circuit. He’s for damned sure not representing me as a U.S. Senator—and he never has, as far as I’m concerned. He might as well fly to Charleston and urinate on the nine graves of those poor people. Evil man.

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  6. More and more, he is proving that he is cousin to the guy who pulled the trigger. Don’t worry, though, about his campaign. He will insist at some point that he is actually campaigning whilst spouting this filth. why? because he has faith in the American way! The karma that is coming his way will make history.

    I hear that Hillary was immediate in her response with phone calls to the families of the victims. Take that, Tedster! Your true colors are really shining through. Apologies to Cindy Lauper.

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  7. Marge Wood says:

    Is Cruz still getting huge hunks of money from the Koch brothers? Speaking of which, Florida State U. is investigating the Koch brothers. That’s good news. Now somebody investigate Ted Cruz.

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  8. JAKvirginia says:

    Men do not change. They unmask themselves.
    — Madame de Stael

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  9. As Marion says, I also have zero tolerance for just turning a blind eye (ear?) to things that are said.

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  10. 1smartcanerican™ says:

    Cruz is so tone deaf, an indication of a psychopath for sure. He simply does not think or react like a normal person. He can only see himself and how the world revolves around him. He is one scary man and I truly hope than Texans not only fail to support him as a presidential candidate but throw him out of the senate when the time comes! He does nothing to represent Texans, only himself.

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  11. This is the son of a preacher man.
    What kind of hate does daddy preach?

    And the republicans think Michelle Obama embarrasses the US?
    Will Mrs. “Armed and fabulous” be the laughingstock of the rest of the world?

    I can’t stand him. And Mrs. armed and fabulous either.

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  12. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    When Heidi or any GOP political family member actually deploys to support global hegemony, then maybe I will listen. Nah. Wrong is wrong and eliminating a few of the inbred is no excuse to continue Provencail failed policies.

    Domestic or abroad, the last nuance is exasperating failed policies.

    Without a doubt, I can lay claim to the fact that I am not the sharpest tool in the drawer. With the help of my gorgeous wife, we work at being sane voices in a political scrum.

    My sincere apologies. No, I don’t think of myself as lazy, but I do recognize that many others better speak what I meant to say, so I defer to brilliant commentary:

    https://desertbeacon.wordpress.com/2015/06/20/the-sorry-tale-about-when-and-how-the-csa-flag-flew-over-the-sc-capitol/

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  13. e platypus onion says:

    Cruz sucks. That is all.

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  14. Ole Scout says:

    Gurl –

    If there is a god … SHE will help you hate tehcruz … rimez with luze, ya no!

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  15. screecherguy says:

    I look forward to the day when, like Fred Thompson, the only tv face-time Ted Cruz gets is selling reverse mortgages.

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  16. maryelle says:

    That poor excuse for a man needs to come down very hard, very far and very fast.

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  17. Yeah, Teddyboy is such a hero. I especially admire all his medals and campaign ribbons. Just like the Bushes, Cheney, Rumsfeld, et. al. Such tough guys as long as there are armed guards around them. He shows all the virtues: hate, greed, lies, vindictiveness, etc. The Republican Party as it is now constituted is the Fascist Party that Sinclair Lewis warned us about. I agree with you Ms. Bankston that it is, unfortunately, perfectly acceptable to hate such a hateful person.

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  18. Linda Phipps says:

    “My wife, Heidi, who is a petite, 5’2 California blonde, she was standing at the tripod unloading the full machine gun with a pink baseball cap that said ‘armed and fabulous,’” he said.

    That settles my question of what his wife is like. More of the same.

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  19. Defintion of psychopath:

    — traditionally defined as a personality disorder characterized by enduring antisocial behavior, diminished empathy and remorse, and disinhibited or bold behavior.

    — a person with a psychopathic personality, which manifests as amoral and antisocial behavior, lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships, extreme egocentricity, failure to learn from experience, etc.

    Yeah, I think we’ve got Cruz pegged here.

    The best story I ever saw about Dubya is that when the space shuttle broke up on re-entry and killed everyone aboard, his first response was, “Where are the families?” Cruz is obviously a much lower life form than that. He doesn’t deserve to be in the same room with decent people.

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  20. Hollyanna says:

    Easy to understand why there was no weeping and gnashing of teeth when Ted Cruz disavowed any claim to Canadian citizenship! My condolences to the state of Texas. I hope you work hard to defeat this smug b*stard when the time comes to run for re-election to the Senate. As presidential candidates go, he should be toast.

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  21. AKLynne says:

    I think he’s got his eye on Limbaugh’s job.

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  22. I collect words and save them until the perfect time to use them happens. I am donating one of my favorite words to Ted Cruz….ta da “SUPERCILIOUS” Is’t it just too perfect for the prig?

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  23. Ted Cruz, can’t stop shooting his mouth off, or his guns.

    Maybe as a way of offering his condolences to the parishioners of the AME Church in Charleston, he could send them a nice dessert during this difficult time, with a note that says, “Let them eat cake.”

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  24. Birdee, that’s a good word but too polite. I still think “smug psychopathic a*****e” sums him up better if at more length.

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  25. Ted Cruz has long since become our National Nitwit. He’s dumber than Louie Gohmert…and I didn’t think that was possible.

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  26. Can anyone tell me why Texas can produce such amazing women like Molly Ivans, Ann Richards, Wendy Davis and our own Juanita Jean and for each of them, a passel of weasels that try to pass themselves off as real men?

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  27. Cruz is in it for publicity, Faux News, and money money money. He’s taking lessons from MN’s own lunatic, Michelle Bachmann. She’s not running for anything, but she’s still panhandling for OPM. Those despicable, psychopathic types are ruled by their greed. Greed. Slime balls.

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  28. You got it Debbo. I never thought I’d live to see it, but apparently running for national office has become a money making venture. I remember when it used to cost people millions of their own and donations from dedicated followers to run a presidential campaign. Now, you do it as a way to hit the lotto. It started with a smartly timed book to roll out while you ran. Now, people are fighting for pundit spots on Fox News and drive time radio. Heck, he probably knows he is likely a one term senator, so you might as make the hay while the making is good.

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  29. coozledad says:

    http://tinyurl.com/pqgvrej Note from Juanita: I generally do not approve of posts consisting of only a blind link. This is a safe link about a story I am fixing to write. It is from the New York Times.

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  30. Linda Phipps says:

    I would love to send one of these Trump pinatas to my lovely and well educated MEXICAN daughter in law.

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  31. DonnaAnglin says:

    With that facial expression, the hat is irrelevant.

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  32. coozledad says:

    I’m sorry Juanita, I need to read the rules more carefully. That’s getting harder for me cause neither my eyes nor brains are working too good these days.

    Note from Juanita: It’s not in the rules, Coozledad. It’s just kinda scary to click a link without knowing where you’re going. Momma did that once and ended up at a place with naked people. Now she won’t click any links at all. In fact, she calls them “naked people links.” We tried to tell her that Martha Stewart’s website probably didn’t have naked people. Her reply, of course, was “you do not know what Martha learned in jail.”

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  33. I seem to remember seeing California Blonde as a color option from Clairol and L’Oreal (now with extra bleach!)

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  34. evil man…just plain ole fecking evil.

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  35. l;angelomisterioso says:

    I noticed the picture of him with the semi-auto M&P M-16 clone was taken at a range where the targets do not move or shoot back. Same reason traffic signs catch so much gunfire.Besides having a tin ear this guy for all his hyped education is dumber than dog doo-doo. I think I’m gratified the Republicans will never let him through their nominating process.

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