Ted Cruz: If You Can’t Change the Future, Rewrite the Past

August 05, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I wouldn’t fact-check this through Newt Gingrich if I were you, but Ted Cruz is just amazingly certain that the 1995 – 1996 government shutdown was good for the GOP.

It is a well-known fact that Ted Cruz spent 1995-1996 admiring his image in a mirror and practicing strutting.

Ted is trying to make his idea of ruining Obamacare worth the price of shutting down the government.  Not to benefit America, mind you, but to benefit the GOP.

I think the GOP hires people to sit around in a room somewhere and make up this crapola.  Hell, it’d be cheaper to hire a herd of mules in a hailstorm because you’d get the same crazy.  Wouldn’t you love to be a fly on the wall of that room – especially when they decide that Nixon was a Democrat?

So, dream on Pretty Boy, and do a double Gingrich backflip without mussing your hairdo.  I wanna see this.  I do.

Thanks to UmptyDump for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Ted Cruz: If You Can’t Change the Future, Rewrite the Past”


  1. Ummm, JJ…the GOP has lots of rooms full of people trying to think up stuff to screw the American people…Board rooms, back rooms, bar rooms, rest rooms, motel rooms, whores’ rooms…and of course they are inserting themselves into our bed rooms…

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  2. Every time I see a picture of Cruz he has the look of the smarmy class snitch back in school.

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  3. Rafael “Ted” Cruz is a perfect example of why certain villages in the state of Texas need to lock up their idiots.

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  4. Fred Farklestone says:

    I’m sure any of the following 6 definitions or combinations of “smarmy,” will fit Cruz to a “T!”

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=smarmy

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  5. Marge Wood says:

    Folks I otherwise respected VOTED for Cruz. Why????

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  6. Marge, the folks who you otherwise respected, (even though they voted for Cruz) also are getting all a-dither for Gregg Abbott. There are some crazy pluckers in Texas. (Their white Krischen God tells them how to vote.) Ted Cruz is the head plucker at this point, and he has his own personal rightwing crazy minister… Whacko minister Daddy Cruz. Save me from the Steeple People.

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  7. The 1995 shutdown was actually good for the country precisely because it was bad for the GOP.

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  8. Umptydump says:

    Fred, speaking of fitting Cruz to a T, those Urban Dictionary definitions do the job. Along that line, someone needs to make up a T shirt with this picture of Ted and just one word below it. Smarmy.

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  9. He looks like Pee Wee Herman!

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  10. Karla Furr says:

    Wonkette called him “fetal-alcohol-faced ignoramus Ted Cruz” last week. It’s mean,but accurate.

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  11. daChipster says:

    Smarmy-pants!

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  12. Oh, daChip … please never, never go below the belt when referring to Cruz and just the suggestion of “smarmy-pants” brings visions of skid marked whitey tighties … now see what you made my fingers type!!!

    You are such a bad daChip … LOL

    But “smarmy” is the exact word for that ugly mug of his!!

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  13. daChipster says:

    Marcia, being so bad is what makes me SO GOOD!

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