Ted Cruz Idiotsplains Birth Control
Ted Cruz says he has bygawd absolute proof that there’s no war on women.
The condom machine in men’s bathrooms. There ya go.
No, seriously, he said that. He says there’s no war on women because anybody can get birth control.
“The last I checked, we don’t have a rubber shortage in America,” the GOP presidential candidate said during a town hall here, responding to a question about the availability of contraception to women who want it.
“Look, when I was in college, we had a machine in the bathroom. You’d put 50 cents in and voila!” added Texas’ junior senator, who attended Princeton University and Harvard Law School. “So yes, anyone who wants contraceptives can access them, but it is an utterly made-up, nonsense issue.”
You’ve come a long way, Baby, but ya need to back up a little and let men be in charge of your birth control.
So settle down, little missy, your man will take care of you. And if he doesn’t, sneak into the the men’s bathroom, buy a condom and put it over his damn head.
Do you want to know what is the outrageously most unbelievable about this? That Ted Cruz needed a condom in college.
Thanks to Elizabeth for the heads up.
I’m sure I remember some man somewhere sometime who “willingly and voluntarily” wore a condom. I think.
1To protect me, of course.
2He probably bought the condoms because the local stores had run out of balloons for the annual water balloon fight during Homecoming Week his freshman year. See? He really does know how to improvise. As for sex? The thought of doing that with him makes me vomit in my mouth! Ewww,Ewww,just plain Ewww!!!
3I doubt if Rafael needed a condom. More than likely he just noticed the machine when he had to take a dump. And he obviously didn’t do that often enough since he is still full of sh**.
4If he used a condom in college, the all loving God should slay Ted Cruz for the mortal sin of “wasting his seed”. Genesis 38:3-10
5I know of another form of birth control..his face.
6Cruz wasn’t allowed to buy party balloons in college.
7Yo, Ted! That damn inflatable doll didn’t need protection!
8The best part of Ted ran down his mother’s thigh…
Pity his parents didn’t avoid the mess and use condoms…
9What does he know about women? He lives in Washington, his wife lives in Texas.
10So Americans are supposed to trust their family planning to some condom they bought from a vending machine in some filthy men’s restroom?
If you are out and about and drunk and have your beer goggles on I guess the restroom condom is better than nothing, but really, how much confidence do you have in that 50 cent condom from the men’s room?
I think we can do better.
11Rafael had the perfect birth control. His personality!
12Okay. How many people here have bought something they thought they’d need but never used it? Likewise conoms. Sigh.
13Um, condoms. (Damn phone!)
14So once again a WingNut insists that a woman’s contraceptive choices should be in a man’s hands. In a manner of speaking.
Not a word about any options–or should we say choices–that are under the woman’s control. Can’t have that.
15@Paul
16Or his glasses. Nobody gets laid wearing those!
Ted needs to be paid a visit by Senator birth control her ownself, Joni Ernst.
17@PKM
18Is she the candidate who regaled her constituency with tale after tale of pig castration and cuttin’ the pork in DC?
Micr, that would be she; or, as EPO aptly named her Ivana Kuturnutzov.
19Last time I checked the success rate for condoms was not even close to 100 %, and neither is that of the pill, but it is much more effective and women need a doctor’s prescription to get it. It costs much more than 50 cents. The more the RKlan talks, the less they say, but the more they reveal their total ignorance.
20Of course if you are “legitimately” raped, the whole question is moot.
When Ted was in college, I think his paisley bathrobe was enough to stop anyone from having sex with him.
21Micr-I beg to differ. I absolutely adore women who wear glasses. I’d consent to snuggle up with one or two. Something about glasses make women sexier or something.
22PKM and Micr-you are talking about KGB Barbie-Ivanna Kuturnutzov.
Hear her laugh-if you dare. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkeZioNOYhI
23e platypus onion, noooooooooooooooo … anything but that maniacal laugh from KGB Barbie-Ivanna Kuturnutzov. What a disappointment she has been. Was really hoping to hear Cruz and several others squeal, starting with Traitor Tom and his 46 co-conspirators. What’s the hold up? Does she need smaller and duller tools? We can help.
24epo, RE: ‘glasses’:
S.A.R.A.H. P.A.L.I.N.?
I dunno, between Ms. Tundra Shuutzenurnutzof and Ms. Ima Kutzurnutzov, I’d opt for celibacy (temp anyway).
25So he thinks that women should go into men’s bathrooms to get a condom? Strange bird, that one.
26As I said elsewhere (but having thought it up can’t resist saying it again) Cruz is a reeking pile of paternalism.
27Obviously there was a night, up in Canada long, long ago, when a certain couple named Cruz were short 50c. They would have saved us all a lot of grief if they had been more careful.
28Oh epo! Posting that link was just mean! I, in my terrible weakness, clicked on it and I have suffered accordingly. You Will Pay For This.
Elizabeth, “reeking pile of paternalism”, is Raphael only on his very best days.
29I want to know who paid off the admissions staff of both Princeton & Harvard Law, to get him in both of those schools? maybe he was involved in a horrible, but not fatal accident after graduating from Harvard Law, which left him permanently brain damaged? I ask these questions, because he’s been on a tear, displaying the IQ of a grapefruit. that might be an insult to the grapefruit.
however, if you consider his target demographic, he can make up anything he wants, and they’ll slurp it up with a straw.
30@EPO
31you have proffered the salon dispositive evidence that Sarah Palin has a strong contender in Joni Ernst for the title of “Psycho Barbie”. We are humbled!
“Transgendered leftist activist.”
“Convicted felons tend to vote Democrat.”
“Principled judicial conservative.”
“When I was in college, we had a machine in the bathroom. You’d put 50 cents in and voila!”
Cruz hasn’t caught up to Trump in the gibberish department, but he’s making a strong run for it.
32Elizabeth- I have a sister named Elizabeth “reeking pile of paternalism” is being kind to krnival kruz. I’d say he and the majority of his supporters are grade A number 1 brass-plated@$$holes and idiots, the only question would be are he and his supporters greater in those characteristics than the tRUMP.
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