Ted Cruz and Ted Cruz Are Sitting in a Tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
Hammer, meet nail.
The Washington Post wonders, “How smart is Ted Cruz?” and comes to the conclusion of … that depends.
The most interesting observation is this one.
Cruz is emblematic of a group of conservative hucksters peddling outrage and paranoia who contend that the strength of the political resistance they generate is equivalent to their own importance, and that one dramatic, losing standoff after another is the pinnacle of political success. Alas, they confuse their own fame with achievement and divisiveness with progress.
I agree. Ted Cruz does not want to be President. He wants to be a rock star.
He would rather be Sarah Palin than Ronald Reagan. And that is because he doesn’t know how to be Ronald Reagan. Look, he was a debate nerd. He has zero social skills. He walked around the women’s dorm wearing a paisley robe, which he thought was sophisticated, hoping like hell to get laid and shocked that the women didn’t swoon. But he did it again the next night because he didn’t know what else to do.
Like Sarah Palin, he’s a one trick pony.
He will run for President, fall flat on his face, and never understand what he did wrong. He will blame it on a liberal conspiracy because he can never find himself at fault. (It wasn’t the creepiness of the paisley robe, it was because girls are stupid.)
The Post concludes —
Cruz is not the guy to build the party or a governing majority (which requires moderate Republicans). But he is just the person to build up Ted Cruz. In fact, he is masterful.
Ted Cruz thinks he’s the only rooster in the barnyard.
If I say it’s Christmas, you better go buy some little twinkling lights and I say that Ted Cruz is just one move away from tight pants and a Mylie Cyrus dance.
Thanks to John for the heads up.
Good analysis. And Jennifer Rubin is one of the Post’s conservative columnists, though more grounded in reality than Krauthammer and certainly than George Will.
1“…and I say that Ted Cruz is just one move away from tight pants and a Mylie Cyrus dance.”
You are so gonna go to h*ll for that visual. ;-P
Someone please pass me the brain bleach.
2Will he be dancing in his paisley robe JJ? Inquiring minds want to know!! ;D
3I am so with Lorraine in Spring! You are just the best, JJ.
4Teddy the twerker? Ewwwwwwwww!
5Ted Cruz is a trained liar. He is very good at lying to ignorant people. He lies blatantly and by omission.
Notice he released his Canadian birth certificate. He has never said what his father’s nationality was when he was born.
I’d bet dollars to doughnuts that Poppa Cruz was a “Cuban national” refugee. He didn’t get American citizenship until 2005.
That should go over big with the nationalists when it turns out that he was Cuban from his father’s nationality, Canadian by place of birth and American because of his mother’s nationality.
Now, let’s see his parents’ long form census form from Canada for the census in 1971. The year after he was born.
Simple matter to clear up, his parents would just have to sign one form to release their census data.
6I’m still waiting for Teddie to do the job that an unfortunate majority of Texas voters sent him to Washington to do: represent Texas in the U.S. Senate. Instead, ever since he got to D.C., he has simply used the office to launch his campaign for the presidency. He’s visiting all the bellwether states and appearing at large conventions of sympathetic conservatives, posing for photo ops, and gathering money and pledges for his presidential campaign. Evidently he believes what his Cuban father told him about how wonderful he is. Sorry, Teddie, Daddy’s wrong.
7I never thought Cruz could win his seat in the Senate, either. He is very, very dangerous and has the Club for Growth and the Kochs behind him.
8Go back to the top and look again at Prissy-britches’s picture. Now imagine him in a few years, white hair and hog jowls. He will be the reincarnation of Jerry Fallwell!
9Seems to be a lot more money in being a Sarah Palin wannabe, than not getting elected President.
10What struck me about this whole analysis is that you could have substituted any number of GOP names in nearly any sentence and come away with an equally true and pertinent analysis.
They live in an echo chamber they can’t break out of without losing their rockstar status. Although I kind of take issue with rock star – it’s more like a class 1A high school football star who stalks around his school pampered and cooed over, envied and stroked. He is a big man on that particular small campus, but he is nobody outside that bubble.
In fact, the whole panoply of GOTP stars can be put into this model – Sarah Palin the Head Cheerleader (dusty knees and all) Michele Bachmann the Prom Queen, Rand Paul the stoner, Rick Perry the Prom King, Newt Gingrich the Skeevy Teacher, the AV nerds at Fox, the school newspaper kids blogging at breitbart, Glen beck the class clown who uses humor to mask some deep “issues”, Chris Christy fat kid turned bully… the list goes on, add your own!
If these guys were all incarcerated in detention a la the Breakfast Club, they would have chained the doors shut and set fire to study hall.
They all live in the same little town, attending the same little school, with the same small-minded outlook and plan to run the world after graduation the same way they ran Ronald W. Reagan Unified High School.
11Geez, daChipster … you are so completely right!!
12Let me get that visual:
Teddie, twerking in a paisley robe, with his tongue hanging out.
13Oh he is so going to trod onto the leaves and branches that cover the pit and fall into it, then wonder why his magic bathrobe didn’t work!
14daChipster…I have never read a better analogy than yours. Please,please write an entire book along those lines. I’ll buy a dozen of them to start.
15If he’s the rooste, God help the hens!
16Chipster, that book will sell!
17“Fast Times At Norquist High”. Of course, when the movie is made, it’s Bill Murray to play Cruz, but who will be the female lead? Parker Posy for Palin? Julia Louis-Dreyfuss for Bachmann? This opens up a whole new field of dreams.
18DaChip:
Perfect. Now I am going to practice my twerking- which sounds like something other than what it is-oh youth…
19Look at August 23, front page, AUSTIN AMERICAN STATESMAN. where Cruz got the headline that belonged to Doggett and the new and better VA. How does he manage to step in front of all the cameras? I used to know a guy in college who did that. He always showed up whenever clubs were getting photographed for the annual. Peculiar.
20Cruz? Kissing Cruz? Given enough time, maybe he’ll just bend down, stick his head between his legs and kiss his a$$ goodbye.
21Oh, daChipster, you’ve nailed it again!! By the way, has anybody noticed that Cruz’s eyebrows are always in exactly the same position? He looks like the sad-face icon. Just thought I’d mention it.
22@DaChip – speaking of Rock Stars!! And the theme song is STILL “Don’t You Forget About Me” by the Thompson Twins:
“Don’t you forget about me/I’ll be alone/Dancin’, you know it baby…
Perry and Palin en duet with a reprise by Gingrich and then Dick Cheney w little Lizzie as the credits run…
LOLOL
23Aggieland liz, if Sarah Palin’s singing voice is anything like her speaking screech, remind me to invest in earplugs.
24@Aggielandliz: It was Simple Minds.
Breakfast Club. Classic.
25You are correct Lorraine! Thompson Twins did “Hold Me Now” and I plead that the 80’s was a long time ago now…
26And @KarenJ we can take up a collection for a ball gag, bleah! Course i doubt Perry is much of a warbler either…let’s make it TWO ball gags! It will help Perry’s public appearances too by keeping his foot out of his mouth…
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