Okay, we’ve been dealing with some serious stuff over the last several weeks, so here is something from the lighter side of the news. Feel free to insert air quotes around news at any time. A “news” report is circulating around Facebook from a group that calls themselves the Belmont News Network. Apparently, a 24 year old woman is convinced that she was impregnated by Big Foot. See, it’s a logical conundrum. Her 53 year old husband is apparently sterile, so there is no other logical explanation.

She went on a camping trip with her friends and one thing apparently led to another. Apparently Sasquatch has some game. Was alcohol involved? Come on, what kind of ridiculous question is that? Of course alcohol was involved. Maybe Big Foot brought in some meth as well. A Sasquatch gotta do what a Sasquatch gotta do. Hubby is not having any of it. Apparently, he’s going to give that hairy beast a piece of his mind when he sees him.

It’s at this point that I need to point out two important things. There is nothing remotely on the level about this story. It’s not even a particularly original piece of satire. Ultimately, it’s an important piece for a couple of reasons. First, it is becoming increasingly more difficult to tell fact from fiction. It used to be that you knew straight off that something was completely bogus. The tabloids would ring out their tried and true farce stories on the daily. Someone saw Big Foot the other day. Some actor has put on a ridiculous amount of weight. This aging star will die next week. Sonny Bono was elected to Congress. You know these tales. Occasionally they could combine some for some real entertainment. What if Big Foot discovered a miracle diet plan?

The second part of this is something I commonly refer to as magical thinking. Obviously this story is false, but the details in the story could be tweaked to reveal real beliefs by real people. Instead of believing the simplest and most logical explanation both seem to jump to the ridiculous. Is the belief that Trump is somehow still president, really sacrificed anything by being a soldier a fortune, or that JFK Jr. is still alive any less bizarre? Naturally, the fact that these people seem eerily immune to simple follow up questions is fantastical in a clinical sense.

Alright. I have one question for hubby in this scenario. If we are to assume that Sasquatch exists then wouldn’t it also make sense that there would be more than one Sasquatch? Big Foot is clearly a mammal. Clearly you believe that Big Foot reproduces sexually. So, wouldn’t it be logical that there would be multiple Sasquatch (what is the plural for Sasquatch)? If that is the case, then how could hubby possibly give him a piece of his mind? What if it is the wrong Sasquatch? Could this Sasquatch be given a polygraph? Would you need a warrant for DNA testing? I just have too many questions.