Perhaps I’m not the right guy to deliver this particular message. After all, I had to remind my supervisor that I hadn’t sat in a math class in 25 years when he decided that I should support a high school Geometry class. However, I worked it and managed to survive on the other end. Understanding basic math is probably a bonus, but I have no way of knowing for sure. As far as I know, Geometry is mainly about triangles and stuff. It’s not like we were splitting the atom.

The notorious MTG might be the most brilliant mathematician in Congress. She has mistaken millions for billions more than once and even then the results were hilarious. A quick tutorial for Marge: a billion dollars is 1000 million. One billion people is 1000 million. In the case above, she said one school had gotten a 5.1 billion dollar grant. That’s amazing. I want to work at that school. I’m sure teachers are getting spa treatments and corporate retreats during their conference period.

MTG tweeted that since Biden took office, 6 billion people have crossed the border illegally. Also:
– Lauren Boebert stole her Friends lunchbox
– 50 trillion Chinese spy balloons have been disguised as decorations at birthday parties
– The Jewish space lasers bleached her hair pic.twitter.com/JIOVbK8P8C

— Paul Rudnick (@PaulRudnickNY) February 24, 2023

Maybe that is why I had 97 kids in my 6th period English class all of the sudden. Of course, I’m being sarcastic lest anyone believe we really have more than 100,000 kids in each high school. Then again, maybe we could accommodate those 100,000 kids if someone threw 5.1 billion our direction. Maybe the cross fit is starting to mess with her brain. Maybe the numbers of new billionaires has clouded her judgement about how much one billion actually is. Of course, it’s just more likely that she’s a dumbass. Remember children, numbers matter and we can’t just make up any stupid figure that enters your brain. Pencils down. This has been your daily math lesson with the notorious MTG.