A jackass at my daughter’s school has decided to call in bomb threats on two consecutive days. The local police are on the case. The sheriff’s office is on the case. The FBI is on the case. I’m sure every teacher and principal are studying the voice on the other line to see if they can identify him. There are all kinds of silly rumors as to why this kid is doing this. The answer is simple. He wants others to feel afraid because that somehow gives him power.

Calling in terroristic threats is a felony. This kid will be found and it won’t be pretty when they do. However, that knowledge in the background hit me when I heard an Eva Guzman ad again this morning. She is running for attorney general in Texas. She will presumably have to go through Ken Paxton and the infamous Louie Gohmert. You have to try really hard to out-slime those two.

Guzman’s ads tell us that she will tackle the immigration problem as attorney general. The only thing is that she doesn’t call it a problem. She calls it an invasion. As you might suspect, she also goes into the other stereotypes and misconceptions about them stealing our resources, committing crimes, and coming after you and your grandchildren. Democratic policies are making it worse and we are at a crossroads.

Except we aren’t. Illegal immigration is not a growing problem. Illegal immigrants are not committing crimes at the same rate. It is illegal for them to collect social security. It is illegal for them to get welfare. Hell, it is illegal for them to work at all. So, what exactly are we doing here? These ads are long on emotion. They want you to feel afraid. They want you to feel angry. They want you to hate. They just aren’t all that long on facts. Facts don’t help them. Facts just get in the way of a good story.

The 64,000 pound elephant in the room hits you squarely across the chest when you realize that Eva Guzman (and those like her) are using the exact same tactics as that kid calling in a bomb threat. The reality of Guzman’s threats are about as valid as the boy’s threats. There’s no bomb. There’s no invasion. The world isn’t going to hell in a ham basket because someone came across the border or because a boy decided to become a girl or vice versa. Oh, it might be going to hell alright, but it won’t be because of any of those things.

The hell we fear is a hell of our own creation. It was one that spins out of our fear. It is one that comes from the notion of life as a zero sum game where everything someone else gets is something that we don’t. It’s a fear where we point at people that aren’t like us and turn their desire just to exist into an existential threat to our humanity and culture. Be afraid. Be very afraid and while you’re at it why don’t you try on this hate for size. It fits you well.

We’ve already covered Gohmert’s latest journey into the land of the stupid here. I did have some profound thoughts I could leave in the comments section, but I thought I would offer them here. With a wife that works at NASA, the questions hit a little closer to home than for most. As a teacher, I would have to say that Gohmert’s frequent stupidity do the same.

Anyone familiar with Gohmert’s work is not the least bit surprised by this. He already had the reputation as the dumbest member of Congress before all this happened. In his defense, he seems to have a lot of competition for that title these days. Maybe he felt he needed to up his game. The citizens of Longview must be proud.

When Gohmert bragged about his high SAT score I was reminded of the time I taught in a private school. One of my students proudly announced the reason why we had day and night. It was because the sun was half fire and half rock. When we were on the fire side of the sun it was day. When we were on the rock side it was night. This was an A student.

I immediately went home and asked my wife why we didn’t plan manned exploration of the sun. She said it would be too hot. I corrected her and told her we would simply go at night. Obviously, the second part was a joke at my wife’s expense, but the student was earnest when offering this and she was one of my better students. Thus, proving that academic performance and intelligence are not necessarily the same thing.

I’m obviously doubly sensitive to stupidity as it pertains to space (I didn’t even mention the solar flares). I’ve lived in the shadow of NASA virtually my whole life and it has been a huge part of my adult life for nearly 25 years now. I readily admit I don’t know as much as some people and there are areas of science where I’m a drooling idiot. Yet, I get the idea that admitting as much and allowing yourself to feel ashamed for that lack of knowledge is more than half the battle.

I don’t think it is any coincidence that the folks on the list that might battle Gohmert for his position are virtually all Republicans. Sure, that might just be my bias coming through. I readily admit that. I also can’t help but think this is a feature and not a bug. One of the common markers people look for when they vote is someone they feel comfortable with that they feel like they “could drink a beer with.”

When you follow that thought to its logical conclusion you reach two very disturbing realizations. First, if people elect leaders that reflect their values and intellectual curiosity then the Louie Gohmert’s and Marjorie Taylor Greene’s of the world reflect the majority of people in their home district. Secondly, as one comedian put it, go down to your local bar. Look to your left and to your right. See any leaders there?

I can’t help but think this is how we’ve gotten it wrong all this time. I don’t want someone like me in Washington that I could share a beer with. I want someone better than me. I want someone smarter than me. I want someone wiser than me. I want someone with more courage. I want someone with a stronger moral conviction. That’s what representative government is all about. After all, if people were just as good as me (or worse than me) than why wouldn’t I be there?

Okay, okay, I know you’re needing a Louie fix.  I know you’re having withdrawal symptoms what with Donald Trump taking all the crazy headlines.

But, Louie is working day and night to raise his crazzzzy quotient.  And, bygawd, he’s done it.

Representative Louie Gohmert (R-TX) thinks that transgender members of the U.S. military are an “advertising bonanza” for “radical Islamists.”

“When it’s advertised that the United States Congress is in favor of taking men and surgically making them into women with the money that they would use to protect the nation otherwise…then it is an advertising bonanza for the radical Islamists,” Gohmert said Friday in a speech on the house floor, after referring to transness as a “type of lifestyle.”

If you’re transgender, you’re emboldening the enemy.

Later in his statement, he says he knows this information because his “Muslim friends” told him so.  Then he caught himself and added quickly, “friendly Muslims — Muslim friends, yes, I do have them from around the world.”

No, he does not.

And as a special added treat, here’s is Louie’s latest campaign finance report for you to have fun with.   Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen was especially interested in this one.

Jordanian Airlines?  One way ticket?  I dunno ’bout that.

Oh y’all, Louie Gohmert ain’t taking no summer break.  No, sireeeee, Louie is 12 month nincompoop so there is no rest for his troubled soul.

Let me interrupt this story to tell you something I’ve just noticed.  In Texas, Louie enjoys one name fame. He’s just Louie.  You know, like Madonna or Cher. You say Louie anywhere in Texas and people start cringing because they know they are fixing to hear something crazy. And, God bless him, Louie did not let us down this time.

Louie thinks that Donald Trump can walk on water, which lends slight credence to the fact that Louie is  deacon over at the Baptist Church. This week, Louie kinda singled out James Comey as the antiChrist du jour, which kinda takes the pressure off Barack Obama, Hollywood, and college professors, at least for this week.

Louie has decided that James Comey was fibbing during his testimony …

“I believe I heard him say he did the memo [about possible obstruction of justice] then he talked with some of his colleagues,” Gohmert insisted to Fox News host Julie Banderas. “We need to round up everybody he talked to because they were all conspiring against the president and all conspiring against their oath of office, conspiring against their own employment agreement.”

“We have a conspiracy remaining afoot in the Department of Justice that is going to be out to destroy this president and they’ve got to be fired, if not worse,” he added.

It’s a conspiracy!  It’s a conspiracy! The sky is falling … on a conspiracy!

I love this part: “they’ve got to be fired, if not worse.”  Worse?  What?  Are the stockades on back order?

Okay, here’s the stumbling block. We already have 93 US Attorney positions empty since Sessions fired them all or they left because … oooey … Sessions.  If you fired everybody else, you leave Jeff Sessions alone to do the work of US Attorneys all over this country. If that doesn’t scare your butt, you ain’t got full brain capacity.

If talking to somebody constitutes a conspiracy, then … oh yes, I will say it … shut the hell up, Louie.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Louie Gohmert is refusing to do town halls out in east Texas.  Do you want to know why?  He doesn’t want you to get shot.

“At this time there are groups from the more violent strains of the leftist ideology, some even being paid, who are preying on public town halls to wreak havoc and threaten public safety,” Gohmert said in a statement.

“Threats are nothing new to me and I have gotten my share as a felony judge. However, the House Sergeant at Arms advised us after former Congresswoman Gabby Giffords was shot at a public appearance, that civilian attendees at Congressional public events stand the most chance of being harmed or killed—just as happened there.”

There’s a couple of bean dip dumb things about that statement.

First off, Gohmert has voted against every sensible piece of gun legislation in the seven years since Giffords was shot.  If he is concerned about your safety, ‘plain that.

Second off, Gohmert has attended every damn gun fetish and Come-And-Take-It flag waving tea party demonstration in this whole country.  And he’s scared of some kale-eating liberals?

.

Yeah, these really look like some bad hombres.

Third off, how come it’s perfectly safe for Louie to speak at the country club but not the high school cafeteria?

Y’all, Louie was not a “felony judge.” There is no such thing as a felony judge in Texas. So, if you see him, please refer to him as a so-called felony judge.  However, I admit it was a felony for his jerk to ever be a judge.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.