In this video Stephen Colbert and Anderson Cooper are talking about life, death, and grief. This weekend, my coworker and friend passed away. He wasn’t my best friend. We didn’t hang out away from work. I almost always detest when people blow these things up for dramatic effect. He was a good, young kid that was just starting his career. He wanted to be good at what he did and do he leaned on all of us in the office for advice.

This story exists on two levels. There is the overwhelmingly sad human angle. This was a 30 year old kid that had just gotten married. He and his wife hadn’t even been married a year. They both are in their first years as teachers. Quite literally, his life was snatched right out of the starting gate.

You can watch the video over and over again and get choked up every time when you notice Cooper struggling to get through the quote. How could the worst things that happen to us be gifts? How demented do you have to be to express thanks for your own suffering?

On a human level it is is very simple. We are fallible and the moment we admit that, the better off we are. These moments also put our own loss in perspective. How could I possibly compare my struggles with his or his wife’s? Even with my own stuff, I can’t possibly know what to say in this moment. I am speechless. On a larger scale, we can share on our humanity and cherish the time we do have.

When I look at our world, what I see more than anything is a sharp rise in narcissism. In this context, it can best be defined as the excessive concern with self. We are the center of the universe. Everyone exists to meet my needs. Their thoughts, feelings, and concerns are of no consequence to me unless it can be used to meet my desires and my needs.

What has this narcissism wrought? I’d point to the very real situation this couple went through. The people working within the school district were caring and feeling people, but the district itself can’t be. They both ran out of days quickly and whatever benefits that coworkers could pass on also ran out. That includes sick leave banks, disability, and bereavement leave.

I bring this up because it is the norm in our industry and dozens of others as well. You work to serve the company. When you can no longer work you are of no use to the company. So, you are at the mercy of whatever individual managers might feel in the moment. Even then, our capacity for charity is limited.

We work longer and harder than most countries. When you just compare us to the industrialized world we also make less per hour for that time. Our standard of living is lower partially because of the choices we have made. The individual’s ability to make millions or billions trumps the standard of living of ordinary people. Most other countries offer more extended leave to care for a family members, prepare for a baby, or deal with your own illness.

Congress couldn’t pass a bowel movement right now much less landmark employee rights legislation. Maybe that will change some day. What we can do is hug our friends and loved ones a little tighter. We can laugh a little more and a little louder. We can also remember that whatever stuff we are dealing with is not nearly as bad as what others have to deal with.