Sweet Jesus!
Sometimes I think there are churches who have publicly announced that they have given up on the whole Jesus thing because he’s become too damn inconvenient in today’s world. St Paul’s Lutheran in Rosenberg, Texas, is one of those churches.
This appeared on the front page of our local newspaper. Glocks for the Flock Gun Club? Well, a shiver just went down my spine and went straight on to my butt so I’m running around in circles stompin’ and scratchin’.
There’s nothing a glock is good for except killing people. You can’t hunt with a glock. Well, I guess you can but you’re gonna go hungry. Most importantly, I do not recall Sweet Jesus asking his disciples to take up their swords and follow him.
To the congregation at St Pauls: if a middle eastern guy wearing a robe and sandals shows up one Sunday at your church saying things about blessing the merciful and the peacemakers, do not shoot him. He’s obviously lost and misunderstood your tax exemption.
Pass the guns and ammunition in the second collection. Tomorrow’s seminar will cover how we can be more judgmental in this new age. Don’t forget the bake sale benefitting ICE and wall construction.
1I have no idea if Jesus will show up at St. Paul’s Lutheran. I am far more concerned that some disgruntled congregant will show up with a Glock to kill the rest of the congregation that s/he feels aren’t adhering to his/her interpretation of the bible.
2St. Paul’s must not follow a literal interpretation of the Bible, or perhaps they believe the 2nd Amendment is somewhere in the New Testament, one of those chapters after Matthew Mark Luke & John? Letter to the Rosenbergians, Chapter 3?
3Lordy what has become of American churches when the clergy have morphed from sociopath pedophiles into full blown psychopath murder types?
We carry .38 six shooters for those rare occasions when an animal is in too much distress to await a veterinary to administer euthanasia. For the record we don’t go armed to the supermarket and other public places even if the celery appears wilted or other such “emergencies.” If anyone at the WMDBS has experienced the I-15, I-80, I-580 through NV or infamous Las Vegas “spaghetti bowl,” you know why we don’t carry weapons in our vehicles. The temptation/provocation would be too much. Insular rural drivers suck, especially when abetted by sloppy engineering and lordy the tourists. 😉
4Impending demise of asinine religions noted.
5Let me guess, wayne laPariah is a charter member.
6It is so bad, the Southern Baptist Church I attended for a few years the Pastor actually held gun lessons in the basement. He also said we had to vote against Obama..
I did get the pleasure of reporting him to the Investigative Reporter’s who were in the middle of an exposé of the Catholic Church politicking. It was a front page story.
I left, started attending a Church that preaches the New Testament. New Covanant.
7I used to laugh at a Baptist friend who belonged to his church’s male motorcycle club; I just pictured gangs of Baptists proselytizing the countryside. But Lutherans with GUNS – what are they drinking in Rosenberg?
8Grandma Ada says:
“Lutherans with GUNS”
From what I recall, Onward Christian Soldiers was always a crowd pleaser from the hymnal.
9Tax and fine the charlatans out of existence. To be clear, as a lapsed Jew, near atheist/agnostic, and leaning more toward the First Nation spiritual, I am not against organized religion per se. Hell. I’m good with organized sports which has more than a few warts.
Many take comfort from yoga and stamp collecting neither of which is in my wheel house. But the thing is the “good” Christians who practice what they preach should be the first demanding the mega million charlatans with private jets be taxed. Joel Olsten anyone? The smaller congregations who actually feed and shelter the homeless need not worry as taxes are revenue minus expenses. Albeit even the smaller congregations with preachers who go way beyond violating the separation of church and state need to take reckoning and “police” themselves before it is legislated they cease and desist.
10Just one more example of a church congregation providing a “lifestyle” group for the community. Heck, they may even get a discount from the Range.
Just to show things aren’t necessarily what they seem, you may want to read the interesting article about the new pastor, Rev. Dr. Stéphane Kalonji.
11https://www.fbherald.com/news/st-paul-lutheran-church-welcomes-new-pastor/article_13396b10-afc3-5f65-a10a-4d341183b0b9.html
And I used to think Molly Ivins just made stuff up!
12Interesting story about the new pastor. The proof will be in this new pastor’s actions and priorities and leadership. Will it be guns for fun or leading his flock on vaccinations and covid mitigation. Will it be for helping the less fortunate or guns for god and a picnic for the club members.
13I was a Lutheran 60 years ago but no more. I saw their priorities then and moved on.
St Paul’s is a member of the NALC Lutheran group, the group that left when the main Lutherans let to gays in. (Oh horror) So of course this would be their thinking! I have no patience for that gun nonsense.
14Juanita, defying the principle of “You just can’t make this stuff up,” you just made that shit up, didn’t you? Amiright?
15Well, it’s a Nazi gun, right?
16WWJS?
(What would Jesus shoot?)
17From that announcement “meet … at G2G Family Shooting Range”. Do we get to shoot any family, or do we have to bring our own? This has to be more fun than shooting those dumb paper targets tricked out to look like AOC or Hillary Clinton.
And does G2G mean “gun to gun” or does one of the Gs refer to genitals?
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