Sometimes I think there are churches who have publicly announced that they have given up on the whole Jesus thing because he’s become too damn inconvenient in today’s world. St Paul’s Lutheran in Rosenberg, Texas, is one of those churches.

This appeared on the front page of our local newspaper. Glocks for the Flock Gun Club? Well, a shiver just went down my spine and went straight on to my butt so I’m running around in circles stompin’ and scratchin’.

There’s nothing a glock is good for except killing people. You can’t hunt with a glock. Well, I guess you can but you’re gonna go hungry. Most importantly, I do not recall Sweet Jesus asking his disciples to take up their swords and follow him.

To the congregation at St Pauls: if a middle eastern guy wearing a robe and sandals shows up one Sunday at your church saying things about blessing the merciful and the peacemakers, do not shoot him. He’s obviously lost and misunderstood your tax exemption.