Stuck in the Middle
Well I don’t know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling that something ain’t right,
I’m so scared in case I fall off my chair,
And I’m wondering how I’ll get down the stairs,
Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you.
Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you,
And I’m wondering what it is I should do,
It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face,
Losing control, yeah, I’m all over the place,
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.
.
You already know about East Texas – where the crazy folks like Louie Gohmert want to make everybody behave exactly how they say.
Well, then there’s West Texas. Where they just can’t wait to kill you.
Lubbock County Judge Tom Head needs to raise taxes and being a great conservative he needed to give people a reason why he needs to raise taxes other than the fact that if you want to find Lubbock on the map, you have to look up Hellhole.
So, Tom gets to explaining to the local paper why exactly he’s raising taxes.
Judge Head said he and the county must be prepared for many contingencies, one that he particularly fears, is if President Obama is reelected.
“He’s going to try to hand over the sovereignty of the United States to the UN, and what is going to happen when that happens?,” Head asked.
“I’m thinking the worst. Civil unrest, civil disobedience, civil war maybe. And we’re not just talking a few riots here and demonstrations, we’re talking Lexington, Concord, take up arms and get rid of the guy.
“Now what’s going to happen if we do that, if the public decides to do that? He’s going to send in U.N. troops. I don’t want ’em in Lubbock County. OK. So I’m going to stand in front of their armored personnel carrier and say ‘you’re not coming in here’.
“And the sheriff, I’ve already asked him, I said ‘you gonna back me’ he said, ‘yeah, I’ll back you’. Well, I don’t want a bunch of rookies back there. I want trained, equipped, seasoned veteran officers to back me.”
Judge Tom, first off, nobody is coming to Lubbock. It’s a hellhole. It’s hot as a frying pan in the summer, colder than a witch’s boob in a brass bra in the winter, and one damn crappy place in between. You can’t pay people to come to Lubbock. Hell, son, you could offer starving people in China a fancy condo in Lubbock and they wouldn’t take it.
Tom Head: Raising Taxes Because He Wants To
Second off, I do not care how seasoned your police are, they cannot take out a predator drone or the United States Marines. And there would be thousands of them — all whining about being in damn Lubbock.
Third off, where the hell do you get your news? I want to know because there’s got to be drunk people living in that isolated cabin the woods broadcasting crazy over the airwaves. Personally, Tom, I think they know they’re jacking with you and are rolling around with a bottle of tequila laughing about you making a damfool of yourself in public. East Texas has the distributorship on crazy and they’re liable to sue you for infringement.
Fourth off, just fess up that you’re real bad at government and so you have to raise taxes. Don’t be threatening to overthrow the United States of Damn American just because you screwed up the county budget.
Fifth off, please move to Arizona. Middle Texas is getting nervous.
Thanks to Sandy for the first heads up!
Miemaw: That movie is being advertised here in the Beaumont area, but since I watch mostly cable channels I don’t know if it’s being shown here. It was produced by the same guy that did Schindler’s list. Just from seeing the promos I know it’s a disgrace to our nation.
1Does anybody remember the cartoon that always ended with TOBAL?
Hit enter too quickly!
2Well, there ought to be a law outlawing stupidity.
Of course, the weirdest part about this is not the judge’s political theories–I’ve heard stranger from the radical right–but the fact that he’s talking about raising taxes.
3@Jan…. I grew up in a household….. that when you asked a question…..just about most anything….. the answer from my parents was “Look It UP.”
So I did a quick Google on the movie, and the author…. Danesh D’Souza (?) the author of the book from which the movie was supposed to be taken..
‘Nough said. Author is a “conservative” (whatever that means these days) (Heritage Foundation), and a Christian Fundamentalist, among other things. And, he’s written a book about President Obama.
People in Lubbock, East Texas, and some other places, probably will love it.
I’ll save my money……
4I feel sorry for you folks who aren’t blessed to live in Lubbock. We have lots of morons that provide free entertainment and Tom Head is certainly not the first. LOL!! Do you remember the time the police arrested the Chippendale Dancers because they were too sexy and turned the cops on? They made 400 ticket holding ladies mad as heck. How crazy is that? I’m still a little nervous about getting out of my truck when a policeman is around because I have to move real sexy to get the kink out of my get-along. It ain’t easy being an old man in Lubbock! LOL!!
5Ooh, I wonder how Grover Norquist would respond to this guy?
6Methinks Judge Head has been out in one too many dust storms and has mud where his brains used to be.
7I met my hubby at TTU, and now one of our girls is a junior coed there. Loved the school, loved the town – nice wide streets, friendly people – ha-a-ated the climate. You’ll be glad to know a lot of my liberal thinking came from my liberal arts degree earned on that dry, dusty plain. That’s the thing about Lubbock – you get your education and you get the heck out. The ones who stay turn into weird, cranky judges!
8My husband and I enjoyed living in Lubbock many years ago. Some of our happiest times. They do have good wineries and good hospitals. At the time Tech ran a restaurant that was only open on special occasions run by the department that gave out the hospitality degree (hotel and restaurant management) that I have fond memories of. Also,Tech had a great summer play program. But, the whole country seems to have gotten crazier since then. And Judge Head is CRAZY. I hope his words earn him some unpleasant attention from the secret service.
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