Staying Classy Texas (EDITED)
Jonesboro, Texas, is a small town between Waco and the end of the earth.
There’s not much to do there since they shut down the bowling alley, but the trailer park does attract some attention.
Jamie Jeanette
A Jonesboro woman was arrested on DWI charges after police say she slammed into a mobile home then tried to leave the scene of the accident in a child’s battery-operated truck.
Jamie Jeanette Craft, 29, is also charged with public intoxication, refusal to submit, disorderly conduct, leaving the scene of an accident with property damage and driving while license canceled, suspended or revoked.
Come to find out, Jamie Jeanette was driving her Texas redneck edition 2001 Pontiac Grand Am when she slammed into the trailer, where she proceeded to scream at the owner for putting his trailer way too damn close to where she likes to drive off road.
She couldn’t get the toy car to do anything other than go in circles. So, dressed only in a sweatshirt with no pants or shoes, she then decided to walk to her mother’s house, where police found her and held her up to blow a .217 on the drunk-o-meter, which is triple drunk.
Here’s the best part. It was 5:30 on a Sunday afternoon.
Just for the helluva it, I check to see and discovered to my everlasting gratitude that Jamie Jeanette is not a registered voter in Texas. So mark that down for one less vote for Rick Perry.
EDIT: I hate to ruin a good story but it has been brought to my attention that this is Jonesboro, Arkansas, not Jonesboro, Texas. In my weak defense, it’s plenty hard to tell the two states apart when it comes to drunk women wearing sweatshirts and nothing else.
Thanks to Gay for the heads up.
One has to drink pretty hard to get “triple drunk” – methinks she has had lots of practice.
Trying to use a kids’ toy as a your getaway car is especially fun~hopefully, this drunkard does not have custody of any children.
1I would not be amazed to find this woman’s doppleganger in Jonesboro, Texas, in a sweatshirt, riding a tricycle.
2Wait – what happened to her pants? Why, oh why, did not the owner of the mobile home not get this up on Youtube?
3Oh good one Cheryl, that would have gone viral in minutes, another great opportunity missed.
4In your defense, JJ, Wikipedia lists at leat 8 towns in the U.S. called “Jonesboro”…all of them appear to be wide spots on a highway.
Too bad Jamie didn’t have my granddaughter’s pink PowerWheels Barbie Mustang…she might’ve gotten away.
5Thank doG, AGAIN, I did not have coffee in my mouth. I thought Appalachia was bad…but only until I had lived in both Texas and and east TN…and visited my kids in Arkansas. Then I knew east TN was really intelligent!
6This is humiliating for me. Everyone in my family but me and my baby brother, were born in Jonesboro, Louisiana. I was born in Texas (but not in JONESBORO, Texas, thank God). And where was my baby brother born? You guessed it: Jonesboro, Arkansas. Oy vey.
7But where was her gun so she could defend herself when that vicious trailer attacked her?
8This makes the drunk woman in the see-through baby doll nighties who got rowdy at our local McDonald’s drive-thru look like Audrey Hepburn.
9Everybody knows that if you are going to drive a battery operated “kids” car. You have to be (a) sober and (b) wearing britches.
10Maybe she ran out of TP, got up off the terlet, fergettin’ those pants, and drove right down to the store and got waylayed by that trailer. Crap happens.
11What, no shoes? Doesn’t she know people make jokes about folks in Arkansas going bare-footed? Where is her sense of civic pride; did she leave it in her other pants? Will, maybe not necessarily her other pants.
12in a kiddie kar???………..OMG………….I’m gonna pee my pants laughing……………too funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
13The preacher at First Baptist in Jonesboro TX is also the school superintendent. Their school board was one of the first in Texas to choose to arm their teachers. Never, ever could something like this happen in Jonesboro TX. Could it?
14JJ, you keep making these stories up. Stop it.
15I suspect she is a cousin of the two women who live next door to me in Harrison. I’ve noticed that Sunday is Vodka day for them, so maybe it’s a family tradition.
16How does a pretty woman like Ms. Jamie become the town slush? Actually, she looks a bit like the lead character in “Winter’s Bone” (played by Oscar-winner Jennifer Lawrence). Ms. Lawrence’s performance as a far classier 17-yr. old child of a Missouri meth-clan was outstanding.
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