Stand Back! He’s Fixing To Be Struck By Lightning!
Y’all, Tom DeLay. I know, I know, he’s supposed to be gone but, y’all, he’s my damn neighbor. He lives just outside spitting distance from my house that is certainly lucky for him.
So, unknown to everyone including me, he’s written a new book. Well, that’s not quite true. Someone else wrote a book and offered to give Tom money to hawk it. Don’t buy it because if it sells as well as his first book, it’ll be $ .02 by next Thursday.
As his life has shown, Tom will pretty much do anything for money and/or attention. He’s in Washington, DeeCee, this week selling “his” book, looking for someone to buy his lunch, and chasing skirts. He was able to lasso a reporter.
He was powerfully upset by the Democrats having a sit-in.
If the Sugar Land Republican were still running the show at the U.S. Capitol, he said, he would’ve had no mercy for the Democrats participating.
“I’m heartbroken. The destruction of dignity, decorum of the people’s House,” he said. “That House doesn’t belong to those members. It belongs to the people of the United States, and for them to desecrate it like they just did is beyond me.”
Pot, meet kettle. Goodness sake, desecrate is a mighty big word for one of the biggest crooks ever in the House. Just because all his crookerly was behind closed doors doesn’t make it a sacrament.
Need I remind you that the only character witness he could come up with for his trial was Dennis Hastert. He has said before that we need to pray for Hastert, but now we should file ethics charges against John Lewis.
“You cannot allow things like this to happen without some consequences,” he said. “I think what I’d do is file ethics charges against every member that did this.”
Yeah, and that’s why American got rid of his sorry butt.
You’ll be amused to know that Tom hasn’t made a decision on Donald Trump yet. Obviously, this is because Trump hasn’t given him any money yet. But, Tom sure has his hand out …
“I’m not there yet. [I] may wait until voting day before I decide whether I am going to vote or not,” he said. “There’s plenty of time between now and then for him to convince me he’s a conservative, a constitutional conservative.” [Translation: give me some money, Pal.]
Then he added: “I think the good thing about Trump is he tells it like it is, and he tells the truth, sometimes.”
Sometimes. As opposed to Tom, as in never.
Thanks to everybody for the heads up.
Well lahdeedah, where do I mail my plug nickel so’es I can git me mah ofishul Tom DeeLaid “Constitutional Conservative” parchment leatherbound Certeefucit?
1Ah knows it’s suitable for framin’ to hang in a place of honor an’ Suthen pride out back on tuh outhouse wall.
The only “destruction of dignity, decorum of the people’s House” occurred when Louie started his tantrum.
2PS: JJ, it’s “Lightning” (as in ‘zing’), no “e”. Not “Lightening”, which might be ‘making whiter or lighter’, neither of which ol’ Hottub Tom needs much of.
3And vice versa on that character reference. Both he and Hastert character referenced each other in their trials. So a crook references a molester and a molester references a crook.
4This one’s for you Juanita Jean – as seen posted on a Crooks and Liars thread: “Dumber than a box of Gohmerts.” That about says it all about Tom and Louie.
5“That House doesn’t belong to those members. It belongs to the people of the United States”
Does that include the 90% who would like to see a vote on minor gun purchase measures?
“I think what I’d do is file ethics charges against every member that did this.”
Do you mean House members who have refused a vote on common sense gun purchase laws? Which then may result in another mass murder? If that’s the case then I’m with you Tom, I’m with you.
6LOL .. holy crappola!! He needs to wear those baggy-crotched pants to hold those HUGE cojones he has!!
SMDH
7Tom, I am in the smallest room in our house. I have a page of your book in front of me. Soon it will be behind me. (With apologies to Oscar Wilde, whom I think said it first.)
“I think the good thing about Trump is he tells it like it is, and he tells the truth, sometimes.” Neither of those jackwagons knows what truth is.
8Trump does not “tell it like it is”. He tells it the way morons like to hear it.
9What rock did ol hot tub Tom come crawling out from under?
10Why isn’t he in jail? Dumb as a box full of Gohmert’s. Thats a good one,that would be a lot of dumb.
His character witness caused the sit-in because a Republican Caucus Rule governs discharge petitions. It is actually called the Hastert Rule. Never mind that 90% of the constituents of the “People’s House” want it. You could have 74% of the Members in favor and it would not come to a vote. And every Republican in the House supports this perversion. The next time one of these buggers claims to work across the aisle ask what they did to repeal the Hastert Rule.
11An often repeated question. What is the going rate TODAY to buy a congressperson?
12The usual expression is “dumb as a box of hammers,” but there is a resemblance to Louie’s ball-peen head.
13I’ve only got two words for this pissant; the second one is “you.”
14Tony, the first word is one of my favorites. Thanks for the snort of laughter.
I love “Dumber than a box of Gohmerts.” There must be a bumper sticker.
15who taught him words with more than 4 letters?
16I wonder how long his book will collect dust at the Dollar Tree? You’ll find it between the Sarah Palin coloring book and a paperweight by Henry Kissinger.
17can’t decide which would be better as a vp choice for trump, tom delay or pee wee herman
18Mitch McConnell has a new book out, too. It’s called The Long Game, which must be the polite translation of The Long Con.
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