Stages of Grief
It’s hard to get away from grief. I’ve seen and heard it everywhere. I am involved in a makeshift Zoom support group that covers topics on mental health. Our next assigned topic is grief. Then, I read John Pavlovitz’s last piece on grief and of course you get inundated every day with others’ grief on social media. It’s not a bad thing necessarily. People feel better when they share. It just forces us to deal with our own stuff. I think what hits me more than anything is the grief over what has happened to us as a country. If one were to define grief, they would define it as something we’ve lost. Most of the time that is a person in our life. It is a family member, a friend, or someone we work with. A lot of the time it is death, but it could simply be the end of a relationship.
We grieve other things as well. We grieve the end of a chapter of our lives. That could be childhood in general. It could be the end of a career or a particular job. It could be watching the end of a particular stage in our children’s lives. With loss comes change and change can be a scary thing. Sometimes it is for the better, but it often brings unique challenges we might not be prepared to face.
Today, I find myself grieving the loss of a nation. No, the United States hasn’t gone anywhere technically. Yet, many have called it the greatest country in the world. No, I’m not going to launch into a “we used to be the greatest country in the world” tirade like on HBO. After all, what we rank in math, science, literacy, or anything else has little to do with why we were the greatest country in the world.
We were the greatest country because we had some of the greatest problems in the world. We had the greatest problems and we were always willing to tackle them. Sometimes we won and sometimes we lost, but we never backed down from a fight. Moreover, we usually found the better angels of our nature. Goodness knows it was never easy, but we found it within ourselves to fight.
Whether it was the battle over all types of equality, suffrage, or simply getting a handle on our own limitations and prejudices we managed to overcome for the most part. Unlike most wars, these battles are never over and the job is never complete. Yet, some people want to declare victory and move on.
We used to be the greatest country in the world. We aren’t the greatest country anymore. We aren’t because we are no longer willing to even try to tackle the problems before us. It isn’t even so much whether we solve those problems necessarily. We aren’t even willing to try. We deny they exist. Out of sight and out of mind.
Grief is a deeply personal thing. When one grieves a loss that is not tangible it becomes especially difficult. Do we hang on with quiet desperation? Do we find ourselves living in the past and reminiscing on better times? In the case of grieving the loss of a nation we can choose to bail or we can refuse to admit defeat. We can shout from the rooftops that the job is not yet done. We can vote out those that refuse to even address the real problems we have. That will be my choice. The rest is up to you.
I was mulling over this idea while making breakfast, before reading this great blog. I have a 37 year-old son who I have considered advising to leave this country for some of the many
1better countries on this small planet. The next two election cycles will tell the tale. If the GQP manages to cheat and bully its way to true minority rule it won’t mean much to old guys like me but I don’t think our children should suffer that fate.
The Republicans need to suffer total repudiation for America to have a glimmer of hope. I do grieve for this formerly great country. There are so many utterly stupid people who don’t have a clue about what is coming if democracy dies here.
My husband died three years ago this June 27th. I not only grieve that loss, but also the loss of him as my sounding board and political soul mate. He loved to have me read aloud to him timely political articles from around the web and then discuss them with him. Since I live in a very “red” town, we were each other’s best friend in that regard, among others.
I’m glad, if that word can be used in this context, he didn’t have to go through the pandemic while undergoing radiation treatments, but I wish he could have lived long enough to see Joe Biden elected. Trump’s continuing promotion of the “Big Lie” and the GOP’s embrace of it just makes me grieve all the more for what I’ve lost and what we all possibly may lose in the next few years.
2When, when exactly, were we the greatest nation on earth?
I think the sad thing about us and our country is that we, the USA, actually have had the capabilities- money, resources – to be the country our ideals say we want to be, and that so many people around the world admire, but we’ve consistently chosen not to be.
3‘we can choose to bail or we can refuse to admit defeat.’
That could be said about ex 45 trying to be relevant or the AZ counters and conspiracy investigators who cling to their illusions of finding the fraud ad nauseum. Letting go, illusions, hate, reality, love, loss, dreams and perseverance are facets of existence.
Offered:
The Illusionist Edward Norton Jessica Biel
Paul Giamatti – stream 1:49: 11
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KunQC6a6fPU
4I’ve been experiencing anticipatory climate/environment grief for many years, and it keeps getting worse.
Living through fire season in California last year was a tiny foretaste of what’s coming, and there’s still no sense of urgency commensurate with the situation we’ve put ourselves into.
Climate change is no longer in the future.
It’s here now.
We have driven off the cliff, and the accelerator is still pressed to the floor. The curve of CO2 concentration in the atmosphere has not only not flattened, has not only continued to go up: it’s concave upward. It’s accelerating.
Probable extinction of a quarter of all macroscopic species before the end of this century.
5Incredibly well stated. I find myself a little embarrassed when I occasionally self-congratulate over the fact that, at 68 years old, I likely won’t survive long enough to see the consequences of the STOOPID that seems to have overtaken much of our country today. For so many generations past, they dreamed of better days and by and large saw those better days. To me, those dreams have turned to nightmares as so many of us want it all, OUR WAY, TODAY without any thought of consequence. From climate change to guns to fossil fuels to exclusionary politics to tax avoidance to on and on and on, we seem to be on a path of living for today and screw any thought of a better world for tomorrows generation. My 2 cents for Saturday
6I’ve never considered the US to be the “greatest” country in the world. I have, however, at times considered us the “luckiest” country in the world. Big difference.
7I have a lot of thoughts about our country after reading this piece. I have felt the same as many of the commenters for quite some time- years. While we have achieved some great things, there are some serious warts that continue to fester. Many just ignore them or deny they exist- like racial injustice and dangerous climate change. This is especially true in one of our parties. They live for today, in denial and only for themselves.
8But what causes the most grief and anxiety for me is what the future holds for my kids and grandkids. The warts are growing out of control in many cases. At almost 71, I’ll not be around for the worst consequences, but my kids and their kids will certainly pay a price for the lack of serious effort to deal with these warts.
F.Y.I. ~ B.1.617 Delta Variant of Coronavirus Spreading at ‘Frightening Speed’ Worldwide, Warn Experts
Variants of the variant
9Edit: The variant, which was first detected in India in October 2020, is now present in more than 50 countries and is surpassing other strains causing infections, according to the WHO. The strain is 1.5 times to two times more transmissible than the strain that first appeared in Wuhan 18 months ago.
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https://weather.com/en-IN/india/coronavirus/news/2021-05-31-b1617-variant-spreading-worldwide-at-frightening-speed
JDM, I think we may have counted, for a little while, as “the greatest country in the world” right after WWII, when we were able to help so many other countries get back on their feet, after a terribly destructive war, and helped bring to justice the people most responsible for that destruction. But, as BarbinDC said, maybe we were just/also the luckiest, in that the war didn’t destroy our fields and factories, so that we were capable of helping when help was most needed.
But we are no longer that country. Our internal divisions are so deep that they seem unbridgeable, even at a time when the country may be destroyed if we are unable to come together to save it. Half the country–the Trumpist half–seems not to care what happens in the long term, so long as they can have political power in the short term, no matter how they achieve it.
We cannot go on like this for long. In another election cycle or two, it will be too late to mitigate the effects of climate change, or the ongoing destruction of democracy in this country. And I have no idea what to do, except vote.
10Its not the heat, its the humiliation…
DOJ Menu: – Catch and Release – Indict -convict ~ then flip for leniency at DOJ’s convenience. ~ Fish in a barrel
Will Trump Org. CFO Cooperate In Trump Investigation? | Zerlina.
The New York Times reports that Trump Organization CFO Allen Weisselberg could face charges as soon as this summer.
Edit: Former federal prosecutor Glenn Kirschner helps Zerlina understand what that means for the investigation into Trump.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8u93lkUtD0w
11~ Its a good day to be wrinkled, rich and Wilbur Ross ~
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Headline: Trump’s Commerce Secretary raked in more than $53 million while holding public office The U.S. commerce secretary appointed by former President
Edit: Donald Trump is said to have earned at least $53 million while collecting a taxpayer salary for a position that required him to work in the best interest of the public instead of focusing on his own profits.
Edit: According to HuffPost, Wilbur Ross’ earnings were a focal point of a recent complaint filed by the watchdog organization, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW).
12Edit: During his four years working under the Trump administration as the head of the U.S. Commerce Department, Ross reported making “somewhere between $53 million and $127 million.” full article:
I can’t find disclosure forms, but I suspect Steve Mnuchin earned every bit as much from his investments.
Even worse: Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington [CREW] noted Mnuchin’s post-office proposal — an investment fund. The release says:
Mnuchin’s frequent trips to countries in the Middle East on the taxpayer’s dime already sparked national outrage. These trips included meetings with Saudi officials after the killing of Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi and meetings solidifying the Trump administration’s backing of the UAE and Saudi Arabia in Yemen’s civil war. Concerns about Mnuchin’s extensive travels were heightened after reports indicated that Mnuchin had post-administration plans to start an investment fund that is expected to raise money from sovereign wealth funds in the Persian Gulf.
CREW also is inquiring about Mnuchin’s efforts on behalf of an Israeli:
13CREW is suing the Treasury and State Departments for records that would reveal more details about Mnuchin’s quiet lifting of sanctions on Israeli billionaire Daniel Gertler in the final days of the Trump administration, and if the decision was tied to Mnuchin’s post-administration pursuits.
I remember when seeing a flag flying from a car or in front of a house was a symbol of pride. Now the Trump people have turned the flag into a symbol of oppression, a in your face reminder that the only way to do things in this country is their way.
14bear in mind, many of the great problems this country has/had, we created ourselves, and mostly still refuse to accept responsibility for having done so. if you create the problem, I’m not going to be particularly impressed, by you fixing it.
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